Why do I attend women-tech meet ups ?

It’s been almost two years now that I have been attending women-centric meetups and talks. When I share my experiences of these gatherings, there is a common perception of other that I have observed and this pricks me in my heart and brain, both.

Whenever I go talk in tech meetups, those are women specific — the very first assumption is — Oh she’s a feminist! The second assumption is that perhaps I am less competent. And I gave these perceptions much thought. I spent many hours thinking if maybe I am being unnecessarily feminist or I secretly like speaking at these places as it would be less intimidating or more comforting than speaking to a room of men.

But all the answers do not show that these perceptions are truth.

• The content of my talk is technical, not focused on gender.
• The audience is no less intimidating.
• I am not a feminist as much as an equalist.
• I am not focused on becoming a famous public speaker.

All the women I have spoken to about this topic do not accept the exact reason why a women-specific tech community must exist.

So how did I come to be here on speaking? It seems unlikely. I am a single girl graduated two years back with a fantastic and supportive bunch of folks at home and work. I love my work, and I don’t need to think about many of these worries and problems working women face in their daily lives. I should live happily, at least till bad luck strikes me. I never felt I need to promote women in technology. But…

Some time ago, my sister-in-law went back to work after her maternity break. Her job is in a different city from her husband (kudos to my amazing brother who manages to be there with them every weekend). It was quite hard on her to be mostly alone, to resume long hours, to have nights where the baby awakens at 2am, or 5am, then working all the next day. Seeing her struggle opened my eyes to the life of other women in the same position. To balance children, marriage duties, household duties… fulfilling expectations to do more for the family despite having the same jobs as their spouse — these things are overwhelming. Yet no one complains. Everywhere I look I see fatigue and no hope of relief for women. If a woman wants a break, she can leave her career to stay home. This is my future if there is no change.

So that is the answer to the question that is in our minds: in India, do we even want the concept of gender-specific meetups for tech? I decide that we do need these. Not because we are different in our abilities but because we need understanding. We need to find resilience and a way to balance. Maybe we can help each other through it. I feel it is important that we see women’s tech meetups as a movement of understanding, asking and giving back to each other. I was convinced to be here without any doubts. I hope you are also.