LIB Un-Pause Menopause: A conversation for the big transition
There are three big Ms that mark key transition points in a woman’s life: menarche (when we start our periods), maternity (when we nurture new life in this world), and menopause (when we embrace a renewed version of ourselves). Interestingly, all three transition points remain shrouded in mystery for those who haven’t experienced them.
At Lean In Network Bangalore, we decided to change that for menopause. Some of our community members were talking about how there is a lack of support around menopause from doctors, leading to a feeling of frustration and being unseen. We picked up the thread and had an eye-opening conversation with Dr. Ameya Kanakiya, co-founder of Elda Health, an excellent gynecologist and menopause specialist. Elda Health supports women through menopause with its holistic intervention plans.
For the uninitiated, menopause is the final full-stop to our periods. When a woman goes twelve months without a period, she is said to have experienced menopause. It occurs when our body has finished its ovarian reserves and typically occurs around the age of 46 for Indian women (almost 5 years before the global average). This is accompanied by a hormonal rebalancing inside our bodies, and that means it changes us as a person at the physical, mental, and emotional levels. This also means that we will live about 30% of our entire lives as the post-menopausal version of ourselves.
Here are some of our key takeaways from the session:
- Menopause isn’t optional: Did you know that 100% of women who get periods will experience menopause? While maternity is a choice, menopause is a mandatory rite of passage for all of us. Infact our body prepares itself for about a decade before it hits menopause. The good news is our body gives out early signs for us to know that this transition has begun (Perimenopause), and we can then actively find ways to navigate this phase of life. The picture below talks about these various phases of life
2. Our body changes from head to toe: As our body gradually recalibrates its internal hormone levels, we experience an extended period of symptoms ranging from itchy ears to memory fog to hot flashes and more. The picture below talks about some of the most common symptoms seen through this transition.
My first reaction to this picture was, “ It is scary, and a LOT to be going through”. This life phase also coincides with the time when women are poised to take on senior leadership roles in their careers. This means that our need for self-care peaks around the same time when there are additional demands on our time from work and family.
The good news is a lot of these symptoms go away once we hit menopause, and there are a lot of “in the moment” hacks that can ease through the transition. Here’s a quick cheat sheet for reference
3. The four pillars of self-care can see us through: When our body goes through these changes, the sustainable thing is to invest in our wellness. This means making conscious choices about our nutrition, sleep, exercise, and stress levels. These four pillars hold up the quality of love and respect that we extend to our bodies. It is the little things and the everyday choices that compound over time and can significantly impact the quality of our life.
Building sustainable habits is hard work, and it helps to have an accountability partner along the way. If you are new to a lifestyle change, invest in a habit tracker. Try implementing the priceless advice from books like Atomic Habits and Tiny Habits. Most importantly, find a community of people who can hold your hand, and walk with you through this — which brings me, to the fourth takeaway
4. It doesn't need to be a battle fought alone: You can be a superwoman and brave all of it alone, but you don’t have to. There is power in holding each other up, showing up for someone else, and finding kindness. All it takes is opening ourselves up to talk about it and accepting help.
Talk to your family, friends, and even your co-workers about what you are going through. Seek out professional help—a therapist, a gynecologist, an endocrinologist, a circle of women who can let you be. The Indian Menopause Society has a list of doctors who specialize in menopause-related support. There are similar societies around the world that aim to create greater awareness and empathy around menopause. There is also an option to use menopause hormone therapy (MHT) which can make the change easier.
In India, organizations like Elda Health are leading the conversation around menopause to change the narrative.
5. Ask for support at the workplace: There has been an increasing awareness in USA and UK to include menopause-related benefits as part of employee welfare initiatives. As more and more women in India reach higher echelons of leadership, this conversation is also making its way into the corporate narratives. Progressive organizations are now creating comprehensive Maternity and Menopause (M&M) policies that cover costs for MHT and mental health support. Firms like Carrot Fertility help organizations become more inclusive by supporting these initiatives.
As we wrapped up the session, we reflected on the double binds women experience with their body clocks. A lot of women are now choosing to have children later in their lives, which may also coincide with the time when perimenopause sets in. Dr. Ameya suggested exploring the option of egg-freezing for women in their late 20s or early 30s. It can offer more options and runway for women to make the choices that work best for their lives.
Menopause marks the beginning of a new phase of life. If you’re a mom, your kids are increasingly independent; you’re getting time back to pursue passions; you’re more self-accepting, less people-pleasing…and bonus: Pretty soon you’ll be done with periods! Yes, you need to focus on your health a bit more, but perimenopause and menopause don’t have to consume you. Take care of yourself, get the help you need, and enjoy the sweetness of this decade, and the ones to come. Because this life, right now, is your gift.
A recording of the session can be accessed here: Zoom Recording | Passcode: @3.m²nA
In addition to the amazing resources offered by Elda Health, you can also check out the following resources:
- Indian Menopause society: https://www.indianmenopausesociety.org/
- International Menopause society: https://www.imsociety.org/
- Book recommendations around menopause
- Oprah’s sage advice on menopause
