Newly sober…figuratively speaking of course…

Have you ever gone out with your friends, co-workers, family members, other people’s family members (what have you) for a night out for dinner or drinks, and for some reason you decide that night that you are not going to drink. It could be for whatever reason: You are still hungover from the night before, you’re on some type of medication, you have suddenly found Jesus, whatever has made you decide that you are going to go into this social situation at night (or lunch/brunch, whatever, I am not judging) and not have a glass of wine, beer, Margarita, whatever your drink of choice usually is…and you sit there at this table with these people, and you wonder…what the hell are you talking about?

I don’t think this is something that applies to people that normally don’t drink. I think this is more of a reaction for the newly, suddenly, or briefly sober. People who never drink are probably used to the grandiose, not as profound as we think, unproven theories that come out of our mouths when we drink. Not that I am against any of it, bit it’s unfair for a newly sober to infiltrate our hives and give us their look of sympathy and disapproval. I don’t want to have to worry about the volume of my voice, or whether my stories are actually research supported when I am just trying to let my hair down (or put my feet up, whatever cliche you use to mean “relax) after a long day of work…or life. A friend of mine told me about a first and second date she went on with a nice enough guy, and on the first date she was drinking, not excessively but normal level non-alcoholic drinking and how the conversation was so great, and even though he was short, she was willing to go out with him again. The second date she had during Lent, for which she had given up alcohol, and didn’t find him quite as interesting. I told her that wasn’t fair, we are all more interesting to others and to ourselves when all parties are drinking. Though I thought he had been judged harshly, I can’t help but think that lifts maybe would have helped to turn things in his favor.

So why another post about drinking? Because it is harder to craft an analogy about finding the lord, Allah, or Jehovah when you have no experience in that. I have however been both the drinking and the sober person in the above scenario, and they are both unpleasant. So I like to think of myself as newly optimistic…and I have been newly optimistic for…let’s just say 3 weeks now (Thank you, and I appreciate your support). The one thing about being newly optimistic and not telling people is that you are walking onto these situations and are secretly appalled by all the negativity that surrounds you, then you want to preach the word of optimism to anyone who will listen. I think as a newly optimistic person, I have responsibility to announce myself when I walk into a room so as not glare at you when you sit down next to me with your judge-y attitude, or at least introduce myself by saying my name then following up with the fact that I am newly optimistic.

I have to say it is difficult…staying optimistic. You have to just take it one day at a time. There is so many pessimists amongst us. As a newly optimistic person, I see now where I was possibly bringing the mood down, killing people’s buzz, and for that I need to make my amends. It can be toxic. Honestly, it is not always intentional. Sometimes, we don’t know that we are being pessimists…sometimes we are just being New Yorkers. I am not exactly a walking dictionary, but does the word pessimists also mean downer, Judge Judy-sh, Misery-loves-company-ish? Like the woman at the gym that told me that she was on a 30 day exercise challenge and her friend brought her grits for breakfast. How do you define that person?

So this week was (is) Internet Week in New York City (have to bring it back to the visiting New York theme). Internet Week is series of events around town that focus on the infinite (couldn’t come up with a good word here) that is the Internet. It is actually extremely interesting, and covers a variety of subject matters which honestly as a media person I should be on top of. I received two invitations to go, and initially was reluctant. As interesting as they both sounded, and as professionally responsible I wanted to be, was I ready to end my New York vacation? Was I ready to get back into that head space that means going from “wow this is interesting” to “how can I put this on my resume?”

So I have some news, and this is probably the worst way to introduce it at the bottom of a really long blog post, but it finally make sense for the story and… I have decided to put some of the earlier posts in book form and it will be available next week on Amazon. It is called Black Girl, Will Travel: Wheels Up, and it is just some of the earlier stories from Shanghai through Sri Lanka edited for all of these dropped words and misspellings that I miss when I am trying to feverishly get out something that is “getting my goat” as they say. It was supposed to be done my Christmas, but (don’t judge me)…then I told myself that it would be the first thing I took care of when I got back from Barcelona, and I did. I finished something for myself, and it is a weird guilty feeling.

So I did go to one panel discussion for Internet Week on Content and Commerce and it was actually very interesting. We in advertising are always looking for a way to sell you something people (in editing I saw the irony of this). It is the art of seduction. Do we tell you an elaborate story about where we are from and where we can take you? Do we make you feel insecure enough about how you look, what you wearing, or how you take care of your family, that you fall right into our arms? Do we flirt with your friend to make you jealous, and then have them talk us up? Are we that reliable buddy that is always there for you, then slips into your pants/purse when you least expect it? Ahh, advertising can be so interesting without the crazy people you have to work with.

So back to the event. Standing in that room of suits, expensive bags, and high heel shoes, I felt this weird calm. It could have been this new found peace or two glasses of white wine (but I hate to assume…or judge), but I was happy to be there just to learn something and not represent something or impress someone.

I went to the event knowing I would run into people I know, but it wasn’t until I got there that I would know how many. “So what are you doing right now?” is the most popular and yes valid question, but I didn’t know exactly how to answer that question without getting the sympathy eyes. I hadn’t had to explain in a while why I was important, and why I deserved their attention especially now that I didn’t have a big account to support that. How could I explain the new found mental freedom that I had…for three weeks now, that had freed me of all of this pretentious bullshit? So I did what most people do after they realize that no one wants to hear about their new found “discovery”…you smile and tell them that you just came back from Spain.