They do as you do, not as you say.
According to Albert Einstein, the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results.
So why do I continue to repeat myself all the time? It feels like Groundhog Day every day: brush your teeth, make your bed, get off your device, put the plate in the dishwasher… Sometimes I have truly questioned their intelligence.
I mean, what part don’t they get? and even worse, what type of parent am I if the most basic things just don’t “stick.”
The only logical conclusion is that I am, indeed, insane.
Or, could it be that I am focusing too much on the things I say and not enough on the things I do?
If you read Einstein’s phrase again, it really focuses on doing. I know it is hard to admit that our actions define the compass our kids follow, but in essence, it is that simple:
They will do as we do, not as we say. They are always watching!
So let’s do a brief exploration with two scenarios:
We often wonder why it is so hard for our kids to go to bed. Well, we never really set a routine for them to follow and we do not hold one ourselves. Sometimes we work until 2 am and other days we start working at 3 am.
We often wonder why they do not brush their teeth three times per day or not floss… when in reality we only do it twice and some nights we even collapse before we are able to. Heck who am I kidding, I can’t remember the last time I flossed!
Exploring what we do instead of what we say has become a mental model I try to apply when being faced with “having” to repeat often what I consider to be basic. Besides helping me feel less frustrated this approach is helping me grow as a person and move into being able to walk the talk and model the behaviors we wish to see in our kids.
Maybe it is an energy-preservation mechanism, but hey, maybe it is sanity!
What about this?
Mother nature has provided a radical gift to nighttime beach-goers in southern California. Click on the image below to read the article. I highly recommend seeing the video!
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