Stay at Home, Stay Away From School
Flo’s story of learning in the time of corona…
It was inevitable: the scent of vomit always reminded her of the fate of waking up to go to school. At first, Flo had feigned sickness to haggle for days off. But with her Aunt Scole’s assessment tools becoming increasingly sophisticated (thermometers, breathalysers, that hopping exercise), Flo had to step up her game. The doctor says she’s bulimic but that doesn’t really explain it. Maybe there isn’t a name for her condition, Marquez might call it “the abyss of disenchantment”, the fact is Flo just really hated going to school. It made her physically sick.
Whilst she might feel like as though she is, Flo is not alone. There are thousands of young people all over the country who would do almost anything to avoid the mind-numbing, dehumanising, undoing of the love of learning that constitutes compulsory education. Amputees suffer pains, cramps, itches in the leg that is no longer there. The rest of us have to go to school, but our soul is not really there.
When the government announced the closure of schools because of this coronavirus business, you can imagine Flo’s unbounded ecstasy! Now she could stay at home, protect the NHS, save lives, and also read whatever she wanted to read, paint in her garden, dance with her headphones on in her bedroom, bake cakes and not have to throw them up afterwards.
Dr Juvenile’s been trying to get Flo to take part in virtual science lessons online; he’s becoming quite a sensation on YouTube. Flo would rather facetime with her friend Mina, who she’s a bit in love with. They’ve been sending each other flirty texts, even though they hardly know each other. If you’ve read the Nobel Prize-winning author’s novel, you can guess the rest of this story.
Aunt Scoles has seen a dramatic change in her niece Flo. Saved from the storms and stress of school, permitted to choose what thoughts to think, what things she will do, Flo seems like a happy and well-balanced human being once more. Aunt Scoles and thousands of other parents and guardians are thinking seriously about taking their children out of school for good.
Stay at home, protect minds, save children from school.
