Why Travel Alone?
“Everyone you will ever meet knows something you don’t.” ― Bill Nye
Last month I travelled to Colombia for the first time. It was the best trip I’d ever been on and I learned so much. It was my first time travelling alone, and one of the best decisions I’d ever made.
Here’s what I learned. I hope they help you on your own adventures!
None of your ideas are real
You won’t know if anything’s going to work until you test it. Everything else is just theory. Is the trip going to be fun? Expensive? Safe? You’ll only know when you do it.
The world is big.
You can poke life and things will change. But you have to act.
“The minute that you understand that you can poke life and actually something will, you know if you push in, something will pop out the other side, that you can change it, you can mold it.
That’s maybe the most important thing. It’s to shake off this erroneous notion that life is there and you’re just gonna live in it, versus embrace it, change it, improve it, make your mark upon it.
I think that’s very important and however you learn that, once you learn it, you’ll want to change life and make it better, cause it’s kind of messed up, in a lot of ways. Once you learn that, you’ll never be the same again.”
— Steve Jobs
Nothing will happen on its own.
You can think about everything in your mind all you want, but if you don’t go out there and do something, then you will never know for sure. Why are you fooling yourself? Get out there!
You’ll realize that your fears are imaginary. Why can’t you overcome the challenges you’ll face? After all, you’re still alive. You’re reading this article right now.
We can adapt and grow. You’ll develop this power as you keep trying things outside of your comfort zone. Yes, you can do it.
Attitude is everything
The brain remembers what we focus on.
Attitude is a superpower that changes how we experience life. With a growth-mindset and positive attitude, every moment is a blessing. When something goes wrong (and it will go wrong), it’s an adventure. Every experience is an opportunity to learn.
Appreciate everything regardless of good or bad. Life is chaotic, life is crazy.
I loved getting lost and feeling like a fool on the TransMilenio in Bogota. Getting off the wrong stations taught me how to adapt when life doesn’t go according to plan.
Attitude can make or break your trip.
You can’t control what happens in life, you can only control how you respond and how you interpret what happens.
Attitude is your lens with which you see the world. When you have a good attitude, you will be more effective at problem solving and clear thinking. On the other hand, having a poor attitude is like wearing dirty glasses. You can’t see anything past your negative energy and dissatisfaction. It’s not fun or effective.
Change your attitude and you will change how you experience the world. Remember that you have the power. You cannot control life but you can always control your attitude.
Language is magic
I’m an English language teacher in Canada. I went to Colombia because I wanted to experience how my international students felt in Canada. It’s not easy to travel to a country when you aren’t fluent in that country’s language.
I learned Spanish for three months and tried to speak as much Spanish as I could while in Colombia. I’m nowhere near fluency in Spanish, but I knew that if I waited until I was perfect at Spanish, I’d never go to Colombia because I would never be perfect — perfection doesn’t exist.
I’m an English teacher and I’m still learning English every day!
I was embarrassed that I spoke Spanish like a baby and I was afraid I would be laughed at.
My fears were all imaginary. The Colombians I met were some of the most amazing, friendly and inviting people I’d ever seen.
“If you talk to a man in a language he understands, that goes to his head.
If you talk to him in his language, that goes to his heart.”
— Nelson Mandela
My experience in Colombia was completely different when I spoke in English versus when I spoke in Spanish.
When I spoke English, everything felt like a business transaction. I was just a walking dollar sign. When I spoke in Spanish, the conversation suddenly became human. “Where are you from? Where did you learn Spanish? How do you enjoy our country?”
When I spoke in “my” language (English), I forced people to play by my rules. When I spoke in “their” language (Spanish), I was trying to learn and appreciate their culture and way of life.
Languages are magical spells that allow us access to different worlds.
By learning a new language, you no longer feel like an “other” or an “outsider”. You’re now a guest, re-born as a baby in someone else’s country.
Every moment is an opportunity to learn and practice communicating with others. Every conversation with a waiter, shopkeeper or driver is suddenly filled with excitement and fun. You start to appreciate a new language, a new way of life, and a new way of seeing and interacting with the world.
“Everyone you will ever meet knows something you don’t.”
— Bill Nye
You are stronger and more capable than you think
Before the trip, I was afraid and worried.
It was going to be my first time travelling alone. My first time travelling to a country where I wasn’t fluent in the language. It was just a two-week trip, yet I was filled with fear.
I’d wanted to go to Colombia since 2012. That’s seven years ago. I’d also wanted to do a year abroad during university.
I never did any of it.
Why? Simple. I was scared.
What if something happened? What if I couldn’t survive? What if…etc.
I used my fears as excuses not to try new things. I would tell myself silly things like “I’ll wait until I have more money. I’ll wait until I have more confidence. I’ll wait until I have my life figured out…” These were all lies I told myself because I was afraid and didn’t want to admit it.
It took me seven years to have the courage to face my fears.
I was still afraid throughout my trip. I learned that it’s okay to be afraid and to act anyway. Being afraid is normal. It’s part of the human experience. But there’s no point in letting out fear stop us from trying.
We are changing and growing every moment. You are not the same person you were yesterday. Heck, you’re not the same person you were five minutes ago!
Before my trip, I was crippled by fear. What if my Spanish level wasn’t good enough? And yet, when I was in Colombia, I could communicate! My Spanish wasn’t perfect. I don’t even know if I really understood anything at all. But I managed to get from point A to point B. I learned how to find the bathroom. I learned how to order food. I learned how to ask for recommendations and advice from locals.
Everything was simpler than I thought!
I learned this only by trying and failing again and again.
There’s power in trying. Remember that the limitations in your mind are simply that — in your mind. When you try it for real, you’ll see if they’re “true” limitations. No matter what, you win or you learn.
But you’ll only know what’s real when you try it.
We are all going to die, yes!
Memento Mori — Remember that you are going to die.
Trips are interesting because they’re a constant barrage of new experiences. You jump from one novel experience to another and it’s quite crazy.
When you travel on vacation — you know that at some point you will have to “come back to reality”. You’re going to go back to work or school, or your normal life. You know that there’s going to be a death for the “you” that’s travelling. There’s a mini-death built into the travel experience.
When we know that something will end, we suddenly gain perspective. Magically, the decision to stay in your hostel and Instagram or go for a walk becomes a lot simpler. You’re only there for a finite amount of time, why not explore?
How can we translate this experience into our every day lives? Why can’t we live every day like this — knowing that there is an end? Because it’s the truth.
We are all going to die. Cool!
Is there an afterlife? I don’t know and I don’t really care anymore. If there is an afterlife, I’ll find out when I die. If there isn’t an afterlife, I’ll find out when I die.
The important fact is that we are going to die someday. Our time here on Earth is finite. There is an end.
So why do we live as if we’ll live forever? Why do we complain about being bored or not having exciting lives? It reminds me of Seneca:
“You act like mortals in all that you fear and like immortals in all that you desire.”
— Seneca
Our time is finite. We can’t have everything. Why do we act as if we have all the time in the world? We don’t!
“People are frugal in guarding their personal property, but as soon as it comes to squandering time they are most wasteful of the one thing in which it is right to be stingy.”
— Seneca
The world is not boring — You are
My dance teacher always said this to me. Wherever you go, you take your problems with you. Whether a place is awesome or terrible is determined by your attitude. Try to find the beauty in everything, even when nothing goes right.
“Ne te quasiveris extra.”
(Do not seek for things outside of yourself)
— Ralph Waldo Emerson
Whether you’re looking at the beautiful vista on Monserrate, the colourful town of Guadape or the craziness of Carnaval de Barranquilla…
The world is wherever you are. There is no magical world outside of this moment. You, reading this Medium article on your phone, computer or tablet — you are living your real life right here and now.
Living a good life is a choice. You can make this decision every day. You can choose to grow. You can choose to learn. But only you can make that choice, regardless of the circumstances that surround your life.
We all have different experiences and we’re all trying our best
“Wow, you’re from Hong Kong! So you speak Japanese, right?”
Most people around the world are trying to be good people. We have the same dreams and similar desires. Everybody enjoys spending time with their friends and family. We all work hard to live a fulfilling life.
If you aren’t exposed to something, how would you expect to know differently?
Nobody is better or worse than you. We’re all just exposed to different things.
As someone with Asian ancestry and having grown up in Asia, it’s very easy for me to tell the difference between someone from Hong Kong, someone from Japan and someone from Korea. But that’s because I had the privilege of experiencing those differences. If someone can’t tell the difference, it doesn’t mean they’re racist or uneducated. It might mean that they haven’t been exposed to those differences.
For example, it’s not easy for me to tell the difference between different nationalities and ethnic groups in South America because I’m unaware of those differences. I haven’t been exposed to as many South Americans in my life compared with the amount of Asians I’ve been exposed to. Does that make me a bad person? Not necessarily, it just means I have a lot to learn.
If I called someone from one city in Colombia as the same as someone from another… That’s ignorance on my part!
We are all ignorant about different things.
Give people the benefit of the doubt. Have a good conversation and be respectful. Listen and share stories.
You’ll be surprised at how incredible people are.
Don’t be afraid to ask for help!
I was amazed by how much I learned just by asking for help. I made friends with shopkeepers and people on the street… People love helping others!
The secret sauce is humility. You need to learn how to throw away your ego.
By asking for help, you show that you are trying to respect others’ culture. You show that you are trying your best to appreciate somewhere for what it actually is — Not what you wish it to be.
When you ask for help, you realize there are wonderful people everywhere.
All you need is an open mind. Develop a beginner’s mind and a humble heart.
Ask for help. It doesn’t mean that you’re weak. It doesn’t mean you’re stupid.
It just means you’re human. We all are.
Celebrate the small wins and enjoy the process
Being somewhere new is super intimidating. You’re assaulted by so many new experiences and stimuli that it’s hard to know where’s up and where’s down.
This is where small wins come in.
I confess — In the beginning, I was afraid to leave my apartment in Bogota. I was too scared of silly things! If I left, then maybe I wouldn’t have the internet. I wouldn’t have the safety of being at “home”. I would be alone in a city of 8 million people. I … blah blah blah.
Small wins.
I thought that if I could order breakfast on my own, then I could prove to myself that I could communicate in Spanish.
So I did.
I thought that if I could get to the bus station on my own and take the bus, then I’d show myself that I was capable of getting around the city on my own.
So I did.
These small wins add up. The small interactions. The “hellos” and “how are yous”. They all help you build confidence!
If you start small, you’ll be surprised at what you can achieve.
When in Rome…
“When in Rome, do as the Romans do.”
— Proverb
Travel becomes more interesting and rewarding when you try to adopt the way the locals live and appreciate what they appreciate. You get the chance to see the world with new eyes.
I tried to avoid UBER for the most part. Maybe I was too cheap. I stuck with public transit and it taught me a lot.
Public transportation is so important to a society’s physical, economic and social mobility. It can make the difference between being able to get to work, and not being able to work because you live in a far-off neighborhood.
It’s crazy cool how something so seemingly small as public transportation can have such big effects. For example, the metro system in Medellin was by far the best one I experienced in Colombia. It made Medellin super accessible and comfortable to explore. It made every station seem like the beginning of a new adventure.
On the flipside, in a huge city like Bogota, the chaotic TransMilenio made every station confusing. It was more difficult to get around and you felt discouraged from exploring the beauty of the city. These small things contribute to the difference in the attitude and ways of life of people in a city. But you’ll only learn this when you try to live as they do.
Own who you are.
I love to wander. I love to dance. I love to eat. I love to meet new people.
These are parts of who I am.
I used to be afraid of it. What if I was too much? What if people didn’t approve of me. What if I was being judged?
I’m learning that none of the judgmental voices inside your head matters. You try to do your best and all of a sudden, “your vibe attracts your tribe.”
I found great people by having a good attitude. By trying my best to try new things. To enjoy things I might not normally have enjoyed. By talking to new people. By being open to new experiences.
Own who you are. You are enough, whatever that means for you.
Did I make friends with everybody? No way! Did I like everybody or did everybody like me? No way!
Smile at life, and life will smile back.
Human connections are so important
In the end, what made my trip amazing wasn’t the tourist attractions or historical sites. It wasn’t the activities, the partying or the dancing. It wasn’t even the food.
It was the people.
I got to make new friends and interact with awesome human beings. That’s what makes life fulfilling — The moments and connections you get to share with others. The relationships and communities you get to be a part of.
Thank you, Colombia!
Be kind, everyone’s just trying to live
I met great people. I met not-so-great people.
I met people who I thought were annoying. They kept trying to sell me things. Sell. Sell. Sell.
And then I realized.
They’re just trying to make a living. If they had the option, would they be doing this? That way? I don’t know. Probably not.
They’re just trying their best — trying their best to live well, trying their best for their families, for their personal dreams and ambitions.
Don’t judge. Be compassionate.
Everyone’s fighting a battle you know nothing about.
Try your best to be kind.
Nobody is better or worse than you (also, be careful of guides and reviews!)
I learned that I tend to trust reviews a lot. But who are these reviewers, really?
What if they knew even less than I did? What experiences did they have? What tastes do they have?
I have no idea.
You have to see for yourself. Everybody can have an opinion on something. But only you can make sense of it if you see things with open eyes. Without expectations.
Every feeling is different. Every experience is different.
You are the one who has to see the world for what it is.
Only you.
“How we spend our days is, of course, how we spend our lives”
— Annie Dillard
