I grew up in an immigrant overcrowded abusive household (10 people in a 3 bedroom co-op house) in the projects of Cabbagetown in Toronto. There was always a sense of urgency — as if I always knew deep down that I would get out. Get out of there using any means necessary. I focused to be at the top of my class in school, I became an extrovert and made lots of friends to spend as much time as I could outside of my home. I started working at 16 and was overjoyed when I got into the University of Waterloo Engineering co-op program so that I could afford to pay for it and one day make it to California. I started seeing the world in 4 month sprints, throwing 200% of myself at work or school or friends to fuel this sense of urgency. Even when things got better, it was like I always had to stay in the fight or flight mode or else I didn’t know how else to operate.

Then when full-time work started which was no longer four months, I ended up working hard, learning lots but burning out repeatedly. I stepped up to be the hero every chance I could, the greater the challenge, the more adrenaline, the more obstacles to overcome, the better. Until… I ended up in the hospital losing uncontrollable amounts of blood because I was obese, diabetic, and broke my liver through excessive alcohol and stress. Then instead of taking that as a sign to slow down, I decided that it was more worth it to keep at the same pace but work for myself. I dove head first into entrepreneurship and pushed myself to another extreme since I had an even scarier ticking time bomb of resources and money running out and lots of unknowns. Not ensuring adequate rest from one sprint to the next, the fear of time running out trumped the importance of taking care of myself and slowing down.

What resulted was a diagnosis at 31 of pre-cancer, obesity, diabetes, depression and broke.

Looking back, it’s like I had driven the same car from childhood, never once changed the oil filter and completely ignored the check engine light and emissions test. And I loved the thrill of driving fast with little regard for my own well-being. I was unfortunate not to have a more normal childhood with loving parents to teach me basic lessons on how to take care of myself. But better late than never — we’ve got so much access to information and knowledge, that whatever we missed out on as a kid, if we really wanted to learn, we would.

After the inevitable fail, I learned that life really isn’t a perpetual series of sprints, it’s more of a cross country road trip.

You can’t be so focused on the end destination that you forget to enjoy the ride, the rest stops and the loved ones in your car. Taking risks to speed and not maintain your car only costs you a lot in gas, fines and more emergency repairs. Sometimes obeying the rules and properly pacing yourself on this ride of your life and taking your time to have a comfortable ride may be a better strategy. It also helps to do a bit of planning ahead so that you have a rough idea and budget of what to expect.

You never know who you’re sharing the road with and can’t control when you get stuck in traffic, when you get pulled over and when exactly you’ll arrive. Accidents happen, construction, detours and roadblocks happen. When traffic jams happens you can either be the jerk that honks uncontrollably or you can take a deep breath and be patient. Sometimes people will cut you off, and you also have the free will to choose how you want to react. The key is that, we aren’t ever on the road alone, you have to share the road with others — your actions do affect others around you.

When there’s a poor car stuck in the middle of the road, pull over and lend a helping hand or give someone a lift — traffic will flow better and you never know how a single act of kindness will affect that person’s life. If all you have is a beat up car that might not start if you stop, you really can’t help anybody else.

To my poor friends who had to watch my wreckage — I’ve broken down many times, asked you for a lift at inconvenient times, or let me crash for the evening and borrow your car. I even honked at you or tried to run you off the road sometimes. And if you were in my car, the music was probably on too loud where I tuned you out instead of listening to your advice. I’m so sorry but so grateful. Thanks for not giving up on me.

This year has definitely been a memorable ride. I was able to make the money to afford all repairs and tune-ups needed. I cleaned out the trunk and threw away as much junk and garbage I could find. I’ve even got everything I need in the car to make it a comfortable ride. But I still ate a ton of McDonalds at the rest stops rather than salads and that horrifies my doctor ;) I’ll get it right eventually.

You can’t easily swap bodies like you can swap cars. But luckily unlike cars, your body can actually repair itself if fed the right things. It is not that easy to completely break old cycles and habits. You can’t go from swapping a MR2 for a Winnebago over night but you can certainly take baby steps and find a balance thats right for you.

Take it from me, you can live life any way you want and achieve exactly what you want — nothing is impossible. Just don’t forget you’re still in a car and sharing the road.