Finding Joy in Humility
And if men come unto me I will show unto them their weakness. I give weakness that they may be humble; and my grace is sufficient for all men that humble themselves before me; for if they humble themselves before me, and have faith in me, then will I make weak things become strong unto them.
Ether 12:27
Yea, come unto Christ, and be perfected in him,
and deny yourselves of all ungodliness; and if ye shall deny yourselves of all ungodliness, and love God with all your might, mind and strength, then is his grace sufficient for you, that by his grace ye may be perfect in Christ; and if by the grace of God ye are perfect in Christ, ye can in nowise deny the power of God.
Moroni 10:32
This has been the hardest topic that I have studied, I have always had a tendency to see humility as negative, and as something that has hurt me. In my mind you could not have humility and confidence. Having humility meant constantly tearing myself down and beating myself up. I had to focus on how far away I was from perfection. Having humility meant feeling worthless and unworthy. If there is anyone who has ever thought this or felt this way, I’m here to say you are not alone, BUT that is not what humility is, AND that is not what Heavenly Father wants for you. I pray that as I share my experiences that you will feel empowered and feel the love of your Father is Heaven.
Coming to learn what humility truly means has been a long journey and is something that I am still working on, and that’s okay. We learn one step at a time. Humility is something really very beautiful, and brings peace, joy and comfort. In Preach My Gospel it says, “Humility is willingness to submit to the will of the Lord and to give the Lord the honor for what is accomplished…. Humility is not a sign of weakness; it is a sign of spiritual strength. When you humbly trust Him and acknowledge His power and mercy, you can have the assurance that His commandments are for your good. You are confident that you can do whatever the Lord requires of you if you rely on Him….” I love the way that it explains humility pure and simple.
On my mission I was completely out of my comfort zone and was a complete mess. I was told by leaders and personally prompted many times to study the true meaning of humility. I remember feeling completely crushed and heartbroken, and thinking I know I am not good at this and that. I know that I am terrible at all these other things I don’t need to be broken down any more, I can’t feel any more hopeless or worthless. I would reluctantly open my Preach My Gospel to chapter 6, How Do I Develop Christ like Attributes?, then lookup all the scripture references and I would feel like there was hope, but I still didn’t “get” it. It was a very slow process, here a little and there a little. When I had been out for just over a year I was moved to Troy Alabama when it finally started to click.
Before I went to Troy I almost went home early because of my anxiety and depression, my bags were packed, and I had said my goodbyes. When my Mission President called me and said that he didn’t feel good about me going home anymore, it was my choice, but he felt like I wasn’t done with my mission yet. As we spoke I knew that Heavenly Father knew who I was and that he was very aware of my struggles, and that my Savior knew exactly what I was going through. Then my sweet loving Mission President told me to study the Christ like attributes and I would find the strength to continue on with the rest of my mission, and then he said I know you have the faith, but do you trust the Lord to help you through the next six months?
A few days later I was sent to Troy Alabama. That question, did I trust the Lord to help me stuck with me, and as I studied the Christ like attributes I saw humility in whole new way. Humility was joy in knowing I didn’t have to do it all on my own, I didn’t have to be perfect right then and now. Elder Holland puts it so beautifully, he says,”… as children of God, we should not demean or vilify ourselves, as if beating up on ourselves is somehow going to make us the person God wants us to become. No! With a willingness to repent and a desire for increased righteousness always in our hearts, I would hope we could pursue personal improvement in a way that doesn’t include getting ulcers or anorexia, feeling depressed or demolishing our self-esteem. That is not what the Lord wants for Primary children or anyone else who honestly sings, “I’m trying to be like Jesus.” ” Trust! Did it make my anxiety and depression disappear, nope, BUT I was able to let Him help me to use them as a strength, and I was able to connect with others that I wouldn’t have been able to with out. I was able to find Faith and Trust that with the Saviors power and mercy that I could climb every mountain that was in my path.
Later on, down the road when my mission was over, and it was time to come home, Humility was again something that I had to hold on to as my plans for what I wanted for my future to be, weren’t what Heavenly Father had planned for me. I had to not only trust that with him I could do what he asked of me but that he also knew what would be best for me. I had everything planned out I was going to come home go to BYU-Idaho, major in Horticulture, and meet and marry some farm boy and move back to some little farm town in Idaho somewhere. Well…… that didn’t happen, and I am so grateful that it didn’t.
As a wife and a mother humility is a blessing to understand. Everything is new, new trials, new mountains to climb. I had slowly forgotten what being humble truly meant. I had again forgotten my worth, and I was constantly beating myself up for my imperfections and weaknesses instead of turning to my Savior in true humility. Being humble also means being able to take correction and being willing to change course whether that be swallowing pride and admitting that we were wrong, putting your wants aside and doing what the Lord asks, or just admitting that you need help. I feel that these are much easier said than done. Humility like all Christ like attributes are verbs and must continually be practiced. I am far from being perfect, but I know as it says in Moroni 10:32, I can be perfected In Christ. I know that through the atonement of Jesus Christ I can change, and I can become better. I can learn from my mistakes. I can repent and become clean. I can find peace and comfort in knowing that I am not alone, that my Savior knows exactly what I am going through and through him I can become more. Because of Him I can be a little better today than I was yesterday. Because of Him I can have hope.
I am so very grateful for the opportunity I have to share this journey with those of you that read my blog. I am very grateful for your love and support. I hope that in some small way it will help you to feel your love of your Father in Heaven and of your Savior Jesus Christ. That you feel empowered to continue on in your own journey. You are not alone! You are loved, and you are enough!
Thank you so much for reading! My references and some of my study material are below. Thank you again!!!
Much Love,
Jennie
Ether 12:27
Moroni 10:32
Be Ye Therefore Perfect — Eventually, By Jeffery R Holland, October 2017 General Conference
Value Beyond Measure, By Joy D. Jones, October 2017 General Conference
Abide in My Love, By Elder Todd Christofferson, October 2016 General Conference
Preach My Gospel: A Guide to Missionary Service (2004), Chapter 6: How Do I Develop Christlike Attributes?, Humility
