How To Help Your Children Play The Old-Fashioned Way
This type of play can define the adult your child becomes!
Somehow work and play are considered to be two ends of a spectrum. But for young children, despite what some might believe, play and work are synonymous. If we want our kids to be smart, they need to play.
Many of us remember our childhood days as playing endlessly till we ran out of every ounce of energy. Play was taken for granted as all neighbourhood friends met for hours of uninterrupted fun. But are today’s children able to do that?
As an early childhood educator, I am acutely aware that today our young children aren’t getting enough opportunities to play. But before we begin to dig deeper, we must understand what we mean by play.
Mayra Mendez, PhD, LMFT, a licensed psychotherapist and program coordinator at Providence Saint John’s Child and Family Development Center in Santa Monica, California, says:
“Play is important because it provides a primary foundation for learning, exploring, problem-solving, and building an understanding of the world and your role within it.”
Play is self-directed. Giving a car or a puzzle to your child and expecting them to wiz the car around or assemble the puzzle pieces, unfortunately, doesn’t qualify as play. Giving crayons to them and asking them to colour within some shapes isn’t play either.
For a child’s cognitive, physical, and social and emotional development, play must be self-directed. While the adult can provide materials to a child, it is the child who should decide what they want to do with the materials.
For example, a child may use cardboard boxes to build a fort or choose to paint on it or explore tearing it apart. Similarly, paper and crayons should be given with no expectation on what the end product should look like. Giving children open-ended materials with no definite expectations will allow them to use their thinking and imagination.
I am reminded of a scene from the movie TheSky is Pink. A student colours the sky as pink while the teacher says the sky is blue and not pink. That’s a classic example of adults casting their shadow over a child’s thinking. For children to flourish, imagination must flow freely and not be inhibited by adult expectations.
Why is self-directed play so important?
Carla Rinaldi said, “The potential of the child is stunted when the endpoint of their learning is formulated in advance”.
Open-ended, self-directed play lays the foundation of life skills. Observe children at play, and you will see the immense learning that occurs. Learning that is intrinsically motivated and joyful. This is the best way children learn.
Brain research tells us that when the fun stops, learning often stops too. Cognitive psychology studies provide evidence to superior learning when experiences are enjoyable and relevant to children’s lives and interests.
Each time we stimulate a child to think on their own, either new neural connections are being formed or the existing ones are being strengthened hence, our role becomes to help them think on their feet.
“Play allows children the chance to emulate what they see and practice skills. It gives them an outlet for creativity and experimentation, and play helps them learn how to interact and communicate with others,” Mendez explains.
Play develops children’s ability to initiate and plan — “I will be the cat and you can be the dog” or “let’s build a house for our animals with the blocks.”
Play builds a child’s ability to focus. Observe how focused and engaged children are as they play.
Play encourages children to be creative and use their ideas. We all know children have wonderful imaginations. Play allows them the opportunity to explore their imaginations.
Children often problem solve as they play — “we only have three boxes but we need more to make our building taller.”
Children develop interpersonal skills as they play with each other and share their ideas, and most importantly they learn from their mistakes — “If I press the markers too hard, the paper tears” or “I fall when I jump from this ladder.”
It is all these skills that lay the groundwork for later success both in academics and in life.
Contrast this with pre-determined, adult-directed play. It can lead to a lack of creativity, low self-confidence and a “follower” attitude. Whereas, self-directed, independent play can go a long way in helping children take initiative, think out-of-the-box, imagine, invent and implement, and develop a “leader” attitude.
So, how can we help children play?
Allow children autonomy and time to explore and try out their ideas as they play. All children are curious and are natural scientists with keen observation.
As adults, we need to observe their interests and create an environment for them to pursue their own investigations.
Whether it is their attempts at navigating equipment in the park or observing and feeling the squishing of wet mud through their fingers — our role should be to encourage their attempts while providing them with the language for their thinking —
“Yes, the mud feels very gooey when you add the water” or, “I notice you are trying climb that step all by yourself.”
We can provide an emotionally safe environment where children are able to explore and probe their curiosities.
Play will differ for children at different stages of their development.
For infants, movement to music and songs, peekaboo games constitute play.
For toddlers and preschoolers, textured, sensory materials like playdough, water, glue etc. can serve as a medium to encourage learning and help them explore, think, and innovate. Role-playing with scarves, hats, and dress ups that encourage language, imagination and creativity constitute play.
It is important to remember that children take the lead and decide how and what they wish to play with each other. Post the pandemic, we are seeing children role-playing as doctors, giving masks to their dolls, and telling them to “make sure you are washing your hands”. This kind of play is crucial in helping them make sense of the events in their daily life.
Parents and teachers can prepare the environment to support children’s interests.
Cosy corners with cushions for a child to “read” their favourite books; tents and fabrics for children to build their houses; water and soap to wash their utensils; large cardboard boxes for building or painting are some ideas.
Conclusion:
Play is quintessential and indispensable for children. It cannot and should not be replaced by adult-led activity if we truly want children to learn and become independent. This approach does not require expensive commercial toys or equipment rather everyday household items. I save all throw away items since they become treasures for children’s “work”.
All children are smart, capable, and curious, and our job as parents or educators is to encourage their capabilities and not impose our adult thinking.
Play is the best way to offer them the opportunity to think and become confident.
For more information on our joyous learning programs, you may visit www.learningmatters.co.
