Travel Blog: I Went To Thailand With My Ex
Let’s just say mistakes were made
For flashback Friday, I thought I’d share my experience traveling outside the country with my ex. Yes, you read correctly, my ex. I’ve done all of my necessary healing and moved on, so It’s about time I share the adventure and give advice to people who may be traveling with their ex.
December of 2017, myself, along with close college friends and my ex at the time, took the 20+ hour voyage to Thailand. He and I had broken up a few months prior, but due to nonrefundable tickets and preapproved PTO, we decided, “What the hell,” we can still be civil and make this trip happen. Big mistake!
My ex and I were still living with each other at the time, so I didn’t have any big reservations about the trip. At least for this travel, I’d have my crew with me to avoid any potential meltdowns or attempted murder charges; or so I thought. Arrival at the airport was pure excitement. We were both amped about hitting our first stop in Thailand which was Bangkok. There were no arguments the entire Lyft there, so I thought this trip would be a breeze.
Our first flight was from Hartsfield to JFK. We grabbed a bite along with some libations and we were both ready to get this journey popping. The best way to get through any long trip, in my opinion, is to indulge in alcohol. My preference at the time was whiskey. The crew, myself, and my ex split a bottle at the duty-free store, thinking we could bring it on the plane with us. Well, that wasn’t the case, so we ended up having to pass the bottle around and chug it before boarding. Needless to say, we were all pretty lit and without a care in the world.
If only things would’ve stayed that way.
We made it to Bangkok some 20+ hours later, along with a layover in China. The hustle and bustle of the city reminded me of a little New York. The cars and people alike would run you over if you stepped in their way. I still remember the smells, so many smells (not all of them good). We caught a train from the airport then walked over to our quaint Airbnb, where I ended up sharing a room with my ex (go figure). I remember his phone always going off and him talking to some girl he was seeing at the time. I won’t lie, I was jealous, so I made it my mission to argue and pick a fight. I obviously still had feelings for the man.
My energy was definitely off and pretty sure everyone around me could feel it too. (I'm SORRY)! I didn’t enjoy Bangkok as much as I should have. I had a crying fit that night, but thanks to phenomenal girlfriends and my homeboy, I pulled through. Yet and still, I somehow managed to sleep in the same bed as my ex.
I know, I was an entire mess!
My attention and mind were on other things and as a result, my time in Thailand suffered.
Our next stop was the city of Chang Mai, where we stayed at this beautiful resort that was semi inside-outside with a long length pool that had plenty of shrubbery and blooming flowers surrounding it. Our room was grander than I expected and it had the plushest pillows and throws. At the hotel, we met up with others from a Black travel group and did our introductions.
Dinner was awkward; the travel group did a few ice breakers and a member of the group shouted out for the couples to do a kiss and they all obliged. I sat anxiously, hoping no one saw him and I not being lovey dubby. It was just a few months ago that we were in the Black travel group all boo’d up and excited about this Baecation. It was only a matter of time before someone yelled out, “Wait, I noticed y’all ain’t kiss, y’all not together no more?” Cue up a record stopping.
“This B*tch here….”
Chaing Mai was a “grand” time. We saw beautiful gold-encrusted temples, fed and washed elephants at a sanctuary, took a cooking class, and even rode 4-wheelers up a winding path to big buddha.
I honestly thought I had it together until a minor breakdown , I’m lying, it was a huge one, in a karaoke bar bathroom ensued. The night ended with me pushing my ex in the street, him narrowly missing a tut-tut, his phone dying and us losing him for an hour or two. My friends were fed the f*ck up with me and as they should have been. We randomly came across my ex again and finally made our way back to the room, where the crew parted ways.
A screaming match took place back in our quarters, security was called, (yea it was a thing) and the next morning I was left feeling embarrassed and ashamed.
Our last and final stop was Phuket, Thailand, where we experienced an hour boat ride to various islands of Phuket. I snorkeled for the first time and overcame my fear of being in deep water. During the day, my crew hit the beach while I held a pity party for myself in my hotel room (there were Thai whiskey, lots and lots of whiskey).
We experienced a Thai massage, where they basically beat and kneaded the stress bumps out of you. I wasn’t sure If I was at a chiropractor or a massage parlor. At night we caught a vibe at the night clubs and even experienced our first Thai strip club. My friend and I were called on stage where we watched a woman pull needles out of her vajayjay and even pop a balloon with her lady bits. Thai bar and club owners would direct you to their parties, claiming it to be the best in town. Amid the lively nightlife, beautiful scenery, and fantastic food, I still found myself stuck in my head. Envision my mans from Get Out, when the crazy white woman taps her teacup and he’s dangling in the dark limbo; yea, that’s how I felt. While life around me simply carried on, I was in my self-made sunken place.
I was missing out on these once in a lifetime experiences, while my ex was living his best life. Conversations with him were few and far between and it finally dawned on me that there was no rekindling our connection. So here’s my advice for folks contemplating on going on a trip with their ex.
DON’T DO IT. For lack of a better phrase, GET OUT!
Sell your ticket to a friend or just count it as an L, but I wouldn’t recommend going on any trip with an ex-lover.
I plan to go back to Thailand in 2020 and do all the things I missed out on while I was lost in my mind. Hopefully, this time with my best friend turned boyfriend, but that’s a story for another day.
