“The best three years of your life”…
The pressure you feel to have the BEST (and by “best”, they usually mean “most fun”) THREE YEARS OF YOUR LIFE when you come to University is undeniable. You hear the concept from parents, from teachers, from older siblings and people reflecting on their own times at uni on social media, and it becomes an expectation. It can be easy to compare your experience to the hand-picked moments on Facebook of a friend who’s gone to a different uni and seems to be having a non-stop party, but you don’t see the full story, so you’re holding yourself to an unrealistic standard when you face obstacles or when things aren’t going so smoothly.
The thing is, they can be some of best years of your life without always being the most fun. You’re going to have three (or more) years of personal growth, of “figuring things out” and changing as a person, whatever that means for you. You’ll have some valuable experiences with interesting people and some of those connections will be long-lasting, some will be transient but still worthwhile. You’ll try to figure out what career you want to do, and may well still be wondering the same thing after you’ve graduated (like me) but it turns out that’s actually okay — you can try things out and you don’t need to KNOW, despite what everyone tells you.
So how do you deal with that pressure? Simply put, the thing I wanted to know sooner as a fresher was that I was not, by ANY stretch of the imagination, alone in having crappy days and finding it overwhelming and difficult to juggle at times. A new city, new people, a new way of learning — it was a lot to adjust to, but everyone I spoke to about it in the end was absolutely in the same boat (probably even your friend in Sheffield who, from their Instagram feed, seems to have made approximately nine new best friends in the first five minutes of being at uni).
Do make use of the tools you have to get the absolute best out of your time at uni. Know that there is help available if you don’t end up completely happy in your halls or on your specific course — speak to your tutor/School’s student support officer or student advice in the Student Union. Bookmark LUU’s help and support page, where you can find help for loads of different issues you might have at uni.
My four years at Leeds included some of the very best times of my life, but also some really low points. Talking to my GP about my mental health put me on the path of recovery as I was able to get the CBT and antidepressants I needed to equip me to succeed at uni and take new opportunities, so talk about your mental health when you need to, whether that’s to a friend, a doctor, a wellbeing practitioner at the Union’s advice drop-in or a stranger: Mind Matters society runs a peer support drop-in and Leeds Nightline is there to listen from 8pm-8am every term night, and it doesn’t have to be about anything big.
It sounds cliché, but joining societies at LUU stopped my time at uni from being one that was quite lonely — I didn’t find many actual friends ‘til second year — and are so worth trying out (just remember there’s no pressure necessarily to do all that straight away, give yourself time to find your feet).
Go to whatever’s going on that sounds interesting at the Uni, Union and out in the city — whether that’s popping to vintage clothes sales, going to a slightly weird sports’ Give It A Go session, trying out a new restaurant, taking a trip to Ilkley Moor, going to an interesting-sounding talk or going on a night out to a venue where the music’s your exact type — moving to uni isn’t just about the degree, and remember you’ve got your first unassessed year to figure out that balance.
And it really is all about balance — don’t beat yourself up if you find yourself not paying as much attention to your course as you feel you should, but equally don’t beat yourself up if you found Fresher’s week hard or don’t find yourself doing ten million and one wild social activities every day and drinking yourself into oblivion four nights a week. You’ve got this. You’re not alone.
