Writing essays with anxiety

There isn’t a single essay that I can ever remember handing in well before the deadline, or without scrambling last minute to write hundreds of words with no time to proofread. In both school and at uni I never felt proud when I finished a piece of work, even if I got a great mark back on it. I always felt ashamed as a lazy student and put my avoidance down to procrastination. But there’s a difference between spending a few extra minutes on your phone and what I was going through all those years. It turned out I had anxiety.

Poor mental health can be really scary, but it’s not all doom and gloom. Recovery is possible and it certainly doesn’t mean you won’t get through those modules and graduate. The only essay I was ever really proud of and handed in early (not that you need to do that to be happy with your work) was my dissertation. I mean writing it certainly wasn’t fun, but after 3 difficult years I had not only improved my essay skills, I really truly understood my mental health. It took a long time to accept that I didn’t need to feel guilty about how I did my uni work, but finally I got there!

My top tips if you’re struggling?

One: Abstract writing methods were crucial to me finishing work (I even used it to write this post). I used to feel so anxious and tense when doing coursework that I could barely write a sentence, let alone a paragraph. My thoughts would feel all jumbled up and after 3 words my mind would go blank. But anxious brains just aren’t always wired up to write in a linear order and that’s ok. So it’s really hard to describe my own alternative style but i’ll try my best —

• Start by writing out the headlines of your essay structure (e.g intro, main point 1, main point 2, conclusion) — don’t worry if you don’t know exactly how many points/chapters you have yet, this can be changed easily!
• Write any ideas, quotes etc. you already know you want to use in bullet points in an order that you like. You don’t need to add them all straight away, it’s super easy to come back to this step.
• Now just start writing and expanding on your points wherever you feel most comfortable and confident. Once you have a full sentence, take it out of bullet point format so you know it’s done. Whenever you feel panicked or stuck you can either just move on to a different area of the essay or break back out into a bullet point. I find bullet points help as they feel less final and scary to me, but find whatever works for you.
• Another thing to do if you get stuck mid-sentence is find yourself a filler word. Mine is ‘something’, so for example I would type out ‘Caffeine is a stimulant that is proven to something… anxiety’. This allows you to get your thoughts on paper even if your jumbled brain can’t think of all the words right away.
• My final tip is that if you do choose to use a non-linear writing method, colour coding is really useful to make sure you don’t accidentally forget to finish a section or leave a filler word in! E.g. red = bullet point to be expanded / purple = filler that needs changing into real word.

You don’t have to use my style at all, it’s about finding what works for you. Do not feel silly about it either, I know of loads of other people that do this and it’s been genuinely approved by a tutor who has anxiety themselves!

Two: Do allow yourself breaks and don’t feel guilty. We’re not essay writing robots. On your break try and do something you find relaxing, walk to somewhere else on campus to get lunch, catch up with a friend for 5 minutes etc. Try not to feel bad about those unplanned breaks either. Trust me when I say EVERY student is taking them… and with anxiety you have even more reason to take some extra breathers.

Three: NO CAFFEINE. I mean it. Anxiety itself is exhausting, but there are other solutions to feeling tired. Caffeine is a stimulant that is proven to exacerbate and increase anxiety. I know it’s really hard, so if you’re struggling try sticking to lower caffeine drinks e.g. tea and at all costs avoid coffee, energy drinks and coke. I find sugar really helps to keep my energy levels up without the side effects of caffeine. So I recommend things like tea with loads of sugar and orange juice. (But watch out for the sugar crash…)

Four: Also, yes it’s boring and you’ve been told a million times but water is KEY!! It keeps you hydrated which can reduce stress. It will help dilute and flush out any caffeine you couldn’t resist and it might not wake you up but enough of it will honestly give you a million times better focus than an espresso.

Five: Don’t be scared to ask for an extension or mitigating circumstances from your school. Your mental health condition, whether anxiety, ocd, ptsd or anything else is not silly or an excuse, it is a genuine reason for you to find completing your uni work harder than others might. If you’re able to, do keep in touch with your school.

(Remember that sometimes we might not be well enough to be studying or working right now. That’s ok. Whatever you need, from an extension or a year out, please just chat with someone you trust so you’re not worried on your own.)

Six: Feel proud, really proud, when you finish. Essays aren’t meant to be easy for anyone. You’re allowed to reward yourself and no matter the grade you smashed it by getting through this, well done!!

Hope this helps a little, Love Chloë x