Keeping Up With The Joneses — The Young Alumni Perspective
You may have heard the phrase “Keeping up with the Joneses”. The idea is that the vast majority of us constantly compare ourselves to our peers. The phrase is most commonly associated with the invisible competition among neighbors, who feel the need to have a bigger house & a nicer car to prove themselves as a success. It’s human nature to compare yourself to others and feel inferior if you aren’t the wealthiest, best-looking, smartest, funniest person. But while it’s human nature, it doesn’t mean it’s the right way of thinking. This concept can be applied to school and your career, especially a few years after graduating college (speaking from experience).
If you’re like me, you want to succeed and be the best version of yourself. I studied Accounting & Finance in college and went the CPA route, although my current role is more on the consulting side. Being an accountant, I like to be able to quantify things, and that’s true of defining success through measurable achievements. I’m roughly three and a half years into my career with enough understanding of what professional life looks like to know why “Keeping up with the Joneses ” is such a common theme with people as they progress from college to the working world. It’s also important to remember that when you transition from college to the working world, defined achievements are less frequent. You don’t take tests or get graded on your tasks (for the most part). There aren’t always specific milestones like finishing a semester or graduating. Even for those in fields with professional designations — such as the CPA — once you pass the tests and get those letters next to your name, there’s nothing left to do other than paperwork every couple of years. This can be tough psychologically, as the last ~20 years of your life were spent in school where tests & grades were constantly affirming your progress. You land that first job and get your footing, and then… maybe a performance review once or twice a year? A possible promotion every few? My point is, once you transition into your career and get settled, you have to adjust your mindset with respect to what it means to “succeed”.
In the fall of 2021, I hit the two-year mark of my career and was promoted, which was roughly 9 months removed from earning my CPA designation. With this came a lot of reflection on the trajectory of my career, and figuring out what my next accomplishment could be. Plainly put, with the next raise or bonus likely 12 months away, and the next promotion 2–3 years away, I convinced myself that there needed to be another accomplishment I could specifically point to. Something tangible that I could define or add to my resume. What about a new job — something people would envy and be in awe of? What if I got an MBA or studied for the CFA? It all comes back to the “Keeping up with the Joneses” concept, further complicated by the lack of constant goals & defined achievements that come with school. It also didn’t help that following my promotion (in the heat of the great resignation, no less) recruiters were reaching out to me on LinkedIn left and right, telling me all the reasons why I should leave my role and pursue something new — for more money, a sexy new job title, expanding my network… and on and on. The point is, this all caused me to start comparing myself to everyone around me and think about all the potential things I could do with my career (and the five seconds of dopamine that comes with adding a new accomplishment to my LinkedIn or seeing a slightly larger number on a paycheck for the first time). It made me question whether or not my achievements to date were “good enough” in the context of my peers, and what I could do next. It wasn’t about whether or not I was happy at that moment or fulfilled with my progress to date. It was about “Could I be more successful in the eyes of others”, a.k.a “Am I keeping up with the Joneses?”.
But here’s the thing. At the end of the day, it’s not about what others think. There’s only one real measure of success: your own happiness. What’s truly important is that you’re in a position in your career that brings you some level of joy (which translates to joy in your personal life and mental & physical well-being). This means working hard, but not to the point of exhaustion or doing a job you despise. It means surrounding yourself with people who support you. And it means leveraging what you’re good at & pushing yourself to be the best you possible.
While it took time to push through all of those thoughts of comparing myself to others, I realized how important it is to take a step back and look at myself in the mirror rather than peering over the LinkedIn hedges. I’m happy with where I’m at in life. I genuinely enjoy my job and my coworkers. It’s interesting, challenging, and fulfilling. And although it can occasionally involve long hours, my job still allows me to have the work-life balance I desire while feeling accomplished. Now, this isn’t to say that if you’re someone who’s working 90 hours a week or doing a job that you hate that you should up and quit your job. But if it’s not making you happy and it’s only about the money or prestige of the job title, then it might be time to do some soul-searching. And if you’re happy where you’re at, there’s no reason you need something new to make progress.
My overall point: Don’t try to keep up with the Joneses. Work hard and be the best version of yourself you can be, but prioritize your happiness, and remember that success comes in many forms. It’s not about finishing 1st in the race, it’s about running a little bit faster than you did yesterday (and enjoying the workout). Be mindful of your own happiness, since that’s all that really matters at the end of the day.
