The Big Bang, evolution, and other dumb theories of science

Part I

Published in

Leftovers, Again

7 min readMay 20, 2020

My son and I have been discussing the creation of the universe and everything, juxtaposed with conversations about God, and I had some thoughts I wanted to share.

If there is no God, as science would have you believe, and the universe was created by the enormous coming together of everything followed by the most powerful explosion ever, it raises a few questions.

How did all this stuff come together in the first place: was it gravity?

If so, how did it all explode then and by what force — unknown to science — is stronger than gravity? Scientists tell us that Black holes are places where the gravity is so strong that not even light can escape. So I’m guessing then that the gravitational strength in this pre-big-bang spot was like super-gravity: nothing could ever escape, right?

But it did escape. Everything escaped: I mean the theory is that it all came together then exploded! Either the theory of the Big Bang is blown up or the one about Black holes has holes in it. The light, and all the material that came together before the Big Bang got blown to hell — no pun intended — across the universe in every direction. And by the way, where did all this stuff come from before the bang? What was it doing and where, or when, or how did this stuff exist before the Big Bang? Come on science, time to answer up.

A massive explosion, but how?

So we have all this stuff ‘coming together’ into this one spot, where super-gravity exists, (super-gravity must have been there to pull everything together, right?) then something — and science has not yet explained what — caused this bigger than big explosion, hurtling crap to kingdom-come.

Here’s where things get, let’s say, unexplainable.

This stuff goes zipping at incredible speeds in all different directions, but as far as science knows today, this stuff is made up of only about 90-some different types of materials, or elements, like hydrogen, oxygen, and uranium.

Here’s the weird part: only a few of these type of materials, like hydrogen — which is in great supply — along with a few other elements, usually gases like helium, will come together somehow and form what we know as stars. All the other stuff — the heavier elements — are going to come together to form what we call planets, like earth, (even though some of these planet-like things will be made up mostly of gas, like Jupiter, but not burning like stars do. Follow me so far?)

We’ve got shit flying all over the place, and it starts to come together to form into two types of objects: stars and planets, and that’s it! From all this material, through this mighty explosion, with stuff rocketing everywhere, the stuff slows down enough to make only two different types of space objects — stars and planets.

Why only two types of space objects? It seems to me with that much energy and material traveling at that great of a distance for so many millions of years we would get more than just stars and planets! (And some star-like planets.) Where are all the other space objects, those things that were also created by this Big Bang?

And then, the Bang slowed…and cooled

After the explosion, and the slowing and cooling started, and the two things started to form, a certain amount of heavy elements came together and cooled and formed a special planet — Earth. Earth was nothing but a bunch of these heavy materials, or elements, but the big mystery is why haven’t these elements come together anywhere else to form a planet like Earth somewhere else in this vast universe? I know, we haven’t found it yet. But here’s what makes Earth so special, because science will tell you there may be other planets just like Earth. But to be like Earth, something super incredible had to happen: LIFE!

Let there be Life!

First, Earth has all the elements that came out of the explosion — the Big Bang: we got every single element, and everything that existed before the Earth was formed came together on this one planet — and as far as we know — no other object in the universe got everything like Earth did! No other place else in the universe has everything Earth has, and no element went somewhere else and missed Earth: if it existed in the Big Bang, Earth got it too! Amazing! We know this because if an element existed somewhere else and not on Earth, surely science would have told us…wouldn’t they?

So the Earth was formed and cooled kind of close to this big ball of hot gas we call the Sun. And after everything cooled a bit here on Earth, things started coming together: some of it cooled into mountains, and some of it cooled into rocks, and some of it cooled into dirt. And there was nothing else, until magically, and again — science can’t explain nor reproduce it — LIFE happened on Earth. Without warning, something cooled out of the cloud of crud and made LIFE!

It’s amazing!

Perhaps it was a single-celled amoeba, or maybe a fish, or a tree. Whatever it was, it had LIFE, something found NOWHERE ELSE IN THE UNIVERSE! But Earth got this LIFE magic thing, and off we went. So we got this thing that is alive, and guess what? More life comes, maybe through another lucky break or whatever caused the first LIFE magic, or hey who knows?

We are just making all this shit up after all.

So now there is LIFE; first the first thing to have LIFE, then the second thing to have LIFE, maybe the same thing — maybe something different, but we got it going on man! LIFE!

Life rocks!

So how did this first, and even second LIFE event spawn all other LIFE events? Did the amoeba and the fish give birth to other amoebas and other fishes? How did they multiply? How did these first instances of LIFE create LIFE themselves?

Oh no! not another explosion!

After all the blowing-shit-up-across-the universe nonsense had cooled down, and landed on Earth like a big bang of dogshit, life began!

Did the amoeba give birth to the tree? Did the anaerobic organism give birth to the aerobic organism? Did the cold-blooded creature give birth to the warm-blooded creature? Did the fish give breath to the bird?

Science wants you to believe in evolution, where organisms change over time to adapt to their environment. They want us to believe that we all came from that first instance of LIFE, caused by some magic pixie dust. There are so many different types of animals and plants on this Earth, both above and underwater, both above and under ground, all surviving in their own unique way that it seems to me that no explosion that overcame super-gravity and hurled crap all over the universe just happened to cool on this one planet perfectly set the right distance from a star, magically got LIFE, and seeded the entire planet with millions of varieties with that LIFE in it! But these are scientific theories, so we should believe them! And teach them to our kids!

Man is the Man!

Here’s another thought. What in this world can cry and laugh, can have empathy towards others, can use logic to reason and think abstractly, and has discovered how to extend its own LIFE? Only man! Only man can use these incredibly developed capabilities to think, to feel, to care for others, to kill without need, to do so many things that no other plant or animal has ‘evolved’ into being able to do. Only man has evolved to this level. It’s amazing!

We have all this stuff that has come together from somewhere, blown up, flew across the universe, came back together in only two different ways, perfectly formed into a planet that magically created LIFE on its own, and that LIFE evolved into MAN, who can think and feel and rationalize and drive and well, you know all the rest.

This is a fairy tale even Disney wouldn’t tell, because it is too far-fetched.

But hey folks, that’s science, and that is what our children will be learning in school. Cool right?

Question EVERYTHING!

Obviously I have a lot of issues with this nonsensical story-telling. Science has a lot of practical purposes: it helps us create medicine, space travel, engineer things, the list goes on and on. I’m not a science-basher.

I’m a silly-science-theory-presented-as-fact-that-my-kid-is-being-taught-in-school-basher. I don’t go in for crazy theories being postulated and promoted as truth about the creation of LIFE. I don’t support having him being taught anything in school as fact that has not proven scientific fact.

Now, let’s talk about history.

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