Game of Thrones and the Women of Westeros 4/7
Mockingbird
Previously…
I went into The Laws of Gods and Men here. But the previouslies want to remind us that Brienne is on a quest for Sansa, who’s been taken to her crazy aunt that killed her first husband and thinks Sansa is out to steal her second. Selyse hates her daughter, Westeros is Hell, according to Melisandre, the cities Dany freed have reverted back to slaving, The Hound has a price on his head for killing those jerk-ass Lannister men, Biter and Rorge threatened Arya back when she first met Jaquen Hagar, the Crows slaughtered the Mutineers, and Jaime made a deal for my poor, sweet, wrongly accused Tyrion’s life… which is now negated with him opting for trial by combat.
Ah, credits! How I wish you would take us to The Vale instead of that Dreadfort you barely even visit. We also see Braavos, even though we don’t go there (tease!). I don’t know, credits. I think you’re phoning it in this season.
In a nutshell…
A damned lot happened!
Tyrion and Jaime argue about Tyrion tossing away Jaime’s deal with Tywin, about his loving a whore, and about Jaime being the “golden son.” Tyrion doesn’t want to go to The Wall for a crime he didn’t commit, no matter what happens. Jaime can’t be his champion with his good hand gone, so Tyrion sends him for Bronn. But there’s not much hope of anyone winning as Cersei is, at that moment, securing The Mountain, a giant, sadistic, undefeated beast of a man — as her champion. Either way, Bronn’s not playing. Cersei’s bought him off with money and with marriage to a potentially wealthy woman… provided her older sister dies, which Bronn seems to think will be no problem. Tyrion’s rather disgusted. Bronn offers him the chance to beat her offer, but Tyrion can’t at the moment. He asks Bronn to fight The Mountain on spec, but Bronn likes the security he has now, also being alive. Yeah. The Mountain’s kind of unbeatable. They part with no hard feelings… kind of.
Arya and The Hound come upon a dying man, his home wrecked by who-in-seven-hells-knows-anymore and talk about life and death and the unfairness in the world before The Hound mercy-kills him. Then Rorge and Biter show up, the latter chomping on The Hound’s neck before getting his neck snapped and Rorge informing The Hound about the price on his head. Arya remembers Rorge’s threat when she was traveling with Yoren, adds him to her list as soon as she finds out his name, then crosses — or stabs — him right off it. The Hound approves. Arya tries to help him by using fire to cauterize his bite mark. He freaks, but he does tell her about his fear of fire and how his brother, The Mountain, gave him the half-Krueger look when they were kids and how his father lied to cover it up. They bond over being alone in the world and Arya washes his wound.
At The Wall, Jon argues about strategy in keeping the Wildlings and their giant pals out, wanting to seal off the tunnel so they have no way into Castle Black. Alliser Thorne thinks it’s still five years ago and that they need to keep ranging north. Gah! Can everyone just accept the existence of the white walkers now, please? Thorne shoots him down and puts him and Sam on all-night sentry.
Brienne and Pod meet Hot Pie at an inn, who rhapsodizes their ears off about kidney pie and his artistry in the making of it, but shuts right off when Brienne tells him of her search for Sansa Stark. Pod thinks she shouldn’t go talking about her quest openly, but it seemed to work for Hot Pie, who catches them before they leave and tells them about Arya and how he last saw her with The Brotherhood, who were planning to sell her and the Hound to Catelyn Stark at Riverrun. He gives them a wolf-shaped pastry for Arya, which is adorable. Brienne counts off the dead Starks and Tullys and Pod suggests Arya is being taken to The Vale to her last living relation. Brienne wonders if Sansa could be there, too, and off they go! These two are turning out to be quite the detectives!
Daario Noharis continues to try to give Dany flowers. She keeps rejecting them, but she does have him do a striptease for her… and more, though we don’t see it. She also takes him up on his offer to kill people for her, sending him and the second sons to Yunkai to kill the masters and keep order. The butthurt, permanently friend-zoned Jorah can’t convince her not to fool around with Daario, but he does convince her to show some mercy. She has him send Hizdahr zo Loraq as ambassador with Daario and pals to offer the masters a choice of living under her rule or death. Melisandre convinces Selyse to allow Shireen to go North with them, saying the Lord of Light needs it. And we all know how Selyse feels about that there lord.
Tyrion is miserable about fighting The Mountain on his own when Oberyn Martell visits and tells him how much Cersei wants him dead, how he met him after his birth, and how physically abusive Cersei was to Baby Tyrion, which makes Tyrion even more miserable. But he also tells him that, after all the tales of the monster born to the Lannisters, he only saw a baby. It’s a sweet moment, in the end. And then it turns awesome when Oberyn makes an awesome vengeance speech and offers to be Tyrion’s champion and kill The Mountain, pretty much number one on his personal to-kill list.
Sansa is building a snow castle of Winterfell. Robin thinks it needs a Moon Door and talks about how, when they marry, they can throw all their enemies out the Moon Door. Then he screws up her castle. When Sansa gets mad, he pitches a fit and kicks the whole thing down. Sansa smacks the kid and he runs off to tell Mama. Then Littlefinger creeps up, promises he’ll take care of Lysa. Tells her how beautiful she is and kisses her, which Lysa sees. Sansa pulls away, which Lysa doesn’t see. Anyway, she thinks tossing Sansa out the Moon Door is fair punishment. Littlefinger disagrees and calms her down, saying “I have only loved one woman, only one, my entire life… your sister.” With that, out the Moon Door Lysa goes!
The Women of Westeros…
Daenerys continues to rule in every possible sense of the word. She plans to get what she wants from Daario, in bed and in Yunkai, but is not silly enough to trust him. She wants revenge on the slave-masters in Yunkai for treating their fellow humans like beasts, but takes it in when Jorah points out that executing them would make her no better. She sticks to her ideals of ending slavery, but is willing to compromise in giving the masters a choice. “They can live in my new world or they can die in their old one.” And appointing Hizdahr as her ambassador seems a smart move as he has been in their position. She’s really come a long way.
Arya and The Hound seem to be getting along a little better… or at least they’re trying. I’m trying to figure out if that’s a good thing for Arya. I did enjoy The Hound telling Rorge that he’s screwed when Arya recognizes him from his nasty threats to her and, while I wouldn’t call the scene where The Hound tells his tale of woe and Arya washes his wound sweet, there’s a sort of somber sympathy and growing respect between them. I still think he’s a very, very bad influence, but I can’t help enjoying their scenes. Even when nothing much happens, putting these two characters together is always interesting to watch.
Brienne and Pod are another dynamic duo. Pod’s still taking her criticism with a smile or at least complete deference, but I also like how he feels free to offer his own two cents and Brienne doesn’t just dismiss it. They’re working well together, Brienne with her noble ideals on her sleeve and Pod with the caution leaned at Tyrion’s side. I also genuinely loved how Hot Pie called her both a knight and a proper lady, as if these terms aren’t mutually exclusive in this world. Maybe they won’t be, in the end, thanks to women like Brienne.
Cersei only has one short scene, happily watching The Mountain slaughter prisoners for practice, but her influence is everywhere. She’s lured Bronn away from Tyrion who thinks they “deserve each other” as neither thinks much of killing to get ahead. And Oberyn’s account of her abusing Baby Tyrion is horrifying. I could try to play devil’s advocate and say her hatred of Tyrion all stems from her resenting that his birth killed their mother. But I doubt he’d get such vitriol from her if he’d come out looking more like Jaime. I think it all comes from her wanting her father’s approval, something so easily given to Jaime by virtue of being male and something Cersei craves. We see she takes some satisfaction, even while mourning Joffrey, in being “the good one” in her scenes with Tywin and hating Tyrion has been one consistent bond between them.
Melisandre pulls obligatory naked duty in this episode while bathing and talking to Selyse about the necessity of deception and illusion to draw people into the truth of R’hllor. I personally think that entire religion is smoke and mirrors and some fancy tricks. I mean, I know the can raise the dead and all, but… Seriously, you guys, if the creepy, people-burning, fire god crap turns out to be the religion that wins out in Westeros, I would be a Westerosi atheist… and promptly burned. Anyway, Selyse is trying not to be jealous of all the sex Melisandre has had with her husband as it’s all for R’hllor, but that’s not what’s bothering her. We all know how much Selyse loves to keep her daughter locked up and she can’t stand the idea of her getting to travel north or see the light of day because of Shireen’s heresy and stubbornness. But Melisandre has her look into the fire and see R’hllor needs Shireen to be with them when they sail.
Sansa continues to be a proactive and dynamic force in this world! I’m just kidding. She’s still at the whim of Littlefinger and Lysa… also Robin, with him talking of their married life together, happily tossing enemies out the Moon Door forever. She just gives him that “Sure, kiddo, whatever you say” look everyone who’s ever babysat pastes on. I think their marriage will be a bit like babysitting, even more so than Margaery and Tommen’s. Not that I condone hitting children as a life-long babysitter, but I will say that Sansa hitting Robin is the first time she’s ever fought back against anything. I’d see it as a sign of things to come, but she just stands there when Littlefinger lays that kiss on her and only cries when Lysa tries to shove her through the Moon Door. Seriously, Sansa? Kid knocks over your snowcastle? Is that the most slap-worthy thing to happen to you? Okay, then.
Fare thee well, Lysa Arryn! You preteen-breastfeeding, man-stalking, niece-abusing bit of crazy. I can’t say I’ll miss you, but I’ll never forget you.
Passing The Bechdel Test….
Melisandre and Selyse talk about potions and Shireen’s heresy and about Selyse being strong enough to see visions. As much as both of these women repulse me, it’s a layered scene that gives us insight into the both of them and even the nudity is not overtly sexualized. Well done, Show. I’m happy not to have this just squeak by.
Other Notes…
“I stopped asking a while ago,” the dying man says when The Hound asks who burnt down his hut. I really do like how this season is highlighting the working folk of Westeros, in scenes or in dialogue, and how this world runs on more than the scheming of the rich and powerful, but on the labor of the very people being victimized by this never-ending war.
“Walder Frey is the new lord of Riverrun,” Brienne says. I get newly pissed. With Joffrey scratched out, he’s next on my to-kill list.
As low-key as this episode was, I really enjoyed all the bonding. Every scene (up to the Eyrie) seemed to be about a pair of very different people attempting to understand each other, establishing who each character is as opposed to who they’ve been and how they relate to others. The last three episodes of this season, just speaking from viewing the last three, are going to be twisty and emotionally charged. It was nice to have this check-in with these characters before everything (as it always does) goes nuts.
Fangasms…
“Why are you sorry? Because you’re an evil bastard with no conscience and no heart? That’s what I liked about you in the first place,” Tyrion says to Bronn when they part. I think Bronn will miss Tyrion and will definitely enjoy being in Cersei’s pocket a lot less. But he’s a sell-sword. He follows the money.
That Oberyn/Tyrion scene gave me every possible feeling! I cried, I gasped, I cried some more, I fist-pumped a little bit. It was just glorious!
I love how little encouragement Hot Pie needs to sit down and talk about the art of meat pies. It was just so darned nice to see him alive and well and seemingly content working at the inn. You just don’t get that a lot with this show’s characters. I’m going to add Hot Pie to my ever-changing ending wish-list. Whoever rules Westeros, Hot Pie MUST be the kingdom’s head chef!
Next up: The Mountain and the Viper
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*****
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