Game of Thrones & the Women of Westeros 5/1

April Walsh
Legendary Women
Published in
16 min readApr 14, 2015

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“The Wars to Come” brings us back to an unsure world of too many rulers and too little Arya (as in none).

First off…

I do try to leave the books out of this, but I am intrigued (and a little afraid) by how show-only viewers and us book-thumpers are in the same boat now. We saw some things last season that were only hinted in the books and other things that caught me completely off guard (Wildling Ice Baby, Varys and Tyrion: shipmates, and Dead Joren, to name just a few). I’ve always said I’m going to treat this show as a different animal and I guess that’s a good policy. Who knows when The Winds of Winter will be finished? Weiss and Benioff know more than we do of the mind of George R.R. Martin and the direction of his story. This show is already ahead of the book on certain storylines. I could be angry and feel cheated because I always thought books readers should be rewarded for the extra heavy-lifting we do, imagination-wise, but I’ve decided that’s not going to change anything or make George write faster. So I’m just glad to have the show as I wait and I am determined to take what surprises or departures come in stride.

Previously…

I covered season four oh, so long ago and left off here.

Pentos on its side…

The credits have changed with the landscape again. We start at King’s Landing, as usual, but then we see The Eyrie, which is more rare. We still see Winterfell, as always, but I notice the remains aren’t smoking anymore, though black spikes seem to jut from the ground. What does that signify? Maybe that it’s unfriendly territory. The creepy flayed man sigil of the Boltons is displayed, after all. We see the wall and the hazy north beyond it, then we’re taken across the narrow sea for a brief and dizzying view of Pentos before the familiar territory of Meereen.

In a nutshell…

A young blonde girl and her darker-haired friend are muddying their trains, traipsing through the woods. Blondie drags her protesting friend to a hut where they wake a sleeping witch. Our intrepid blonde informs her she’s not scary at all, then informs her “this is my father’s land, my land. Tell me my future or I’ll have your two boring eyes gouged out of your head.” The woman requires a taste of blood literally and tells her three things: she’s promised to a prince, but she shall marry a king and be queen until someone younger and more beautiful takes her place, he will have twenty children and she will have three, and her children will wear golden crowns and die in golden shrouds.

We find the girl was Cersei as we come back to present-day King’s Landing. She joins Jaime in the sept with Tywin’s body, who expresses his fear of everyone tearing them apart without Tywin there to keep order, but she’s still nursing her hate-on for Tyrion and upbraids Jaime for always defending him, even helping him escape after he killed their father, who she claims loved Jaime most. Kind of true, though I think Tyrion loved himself and his name most and Jaime was just what he saw as the best means of continuing it. Anyway, at least Jaime and Cersei aren’t having sex next to Tywin’s corpse. Progress.

We see the view through a hole of someone being carried from a ship and through a town. Tyrion! He falls out of a crate to find Varys standing over him and complains about the travel accommodations. Varys brushes it off and welcomes him to Illyrio Mopatis’ home, who hosted Dany and Viserys back in season one. Tyrion goes for the wine first, of course. Varys calls him “my lord” and tries to slow down his drinking. Tyrion corrects him , figuring he gave up the title when he offed Tyrion on the crapper, and dredges up some self-loathing at his killing Shae, then he vomits and drinks dome more. I should be disgusted and still angry with him for killing Shae (As for Tywin… eh), but I’m so happy to see Dinklage!

I might have a little crush.

In Meereen, the gilded harpy is being torn from the pyramid (I wonder if the next credits will reflect that) under one of The Unsullied’s supervision. He then visits a brothel where a woman, already familiar with his wants, lays down with him and strokes his head, humming to him as he relaxes. It’s so sad and sweet, considering what we know of the Unsullied, up until a man in a gold mask slashes his throat. Daenerys later identifies the mask as belonging to the Sons of the Harpy. She orders the soldier be buried with full honors in the temple and tells Greyworm to find the Sons. Missandei catches him before he leaves and asks him why Unsullied would visit brothels. Greyworm claims not to know (Come on! I know you soldiers talk!).

At The Wall, Jon is training a boy (Is that Olly? He’s so big!) while Sam worries over how much Ser Alliser hates Wildlings and Gilly worries he’ll send her and Little Sam away. Melisandre interrupts Jon to bring him to “King” Stannis (I’ll believe it when he’s on the iron throne and Dany’s in the ground… as in never). They have a long and awkward wall-a-vator ride, where he wonders why she never wears a coat or feels the cold and she makes him feel her face and asks him if he’s a virgin. Surprisingly, he answers just before they’re brought to Stannis and Davos (!!!!!) up top.

Stannis points out that Roose, who killed Robb, is ruling at Winterfell and asks Jon if he wants revenge. Jon does, but is a sworn brother of The Night’s Watch now. Davos points out some of his not so night’s-watchmen-like behavior, like a general affection for the Wildlings (mostly Ygritte). Jon thinks their being born on the rough side of the wall isn’t their fault. Stannis just ignores that whole idealogical convo and gets down to business. He wants to kill Roose Bolton now that Tywin isn’t alive to give him Lannister protection and he needs men. Jon thinks he means the Night’s Watch, but Stannis means the Wildlings. He wants to offer them pardons, land, and freedom if Mance kneels before him and swears loyalty. Jon doesn’t think he will, but Stannis is pretty confident that Jon has some pull with Mance, also that he will burn him if he doesn’t agree.

In the Eyrie, Sansa and Littlefinger watch Little Lord Robyn train with one of Lord Royce’s men with terrible results. Littlefinger gets a message and Sansa side-eyes it before they leave Lord Royce, claiming they’re going to The Fingers. In the caravan later, Sansa wonders why Littlefinger lied to Royce as they’re obviously going west. He claims Royce might not be trustworthy. Sansa snarks about whether anyone can be trusted. Littlefinger thinks his money and intimidation do well enough for most and claims he’s taking her somewhere Cersei Lannister can’t get her.

Their caravan passes my favorite buddy cop duo, Brienne and Pod!!! They’re setting up camp and Pod’s wondering where they’re off to next. She tells Pod she was only charged with getting him safely away from King’s Landing and thinks he’s safe enough now, but Pod wants to stay and be her squire. She angrily points out that he’s not a squire because she’s not a knight. Pod thinks, even if Arya rejected them, that Sansa might still need them. Brienne doesn’t think it matters with the world they live in now.

As for Cersei, she bonds with her dearest friend, wine, at the wake, pretending to listen to condolences while suspiciously watching Margaery and Tommen and moves to them when her ex-lover/cousin, Lancel, all pious and shaved and robed, stops her in her tracks. His father claims he’s in with some religious fanatics called Sparrows. She almost cares, then just gets more wine and goes off to brood. Lancel finds her and asks her to forgive him for leading her into “unnatural relations” and expresses regret over his part in drugging King Robert, which Cersei denies any knowledge of hard. She laughs him off when he implores her to “find peace in The Seven” as he has. “Their world is at hand.” Someone get this man a sandwich board and a spot in the square!

We then find Ser Loras in bed with Ser Oberyn’s favorite male prostitute from last season, fooling around and talking about Loras’ penis and its resemblance to parts of Dorne before Margaery just sails right in, snacking on nuts, and asks our man of the night his name (Olyvar) before dismissing him. She chides Loras for being indiscreet and pokes him about his marriage to Cersei and he points out that Cersei may not marry him, leaving her stuck there with Cersei as her mother-by-law. “Perhaps,” she says, not elaborating. Sneaky Tyrell ladies.

Back in Pentos, Varys and Tyrion are trading insults.

Tyrion: Eunuch, Spider, Master of Whisperers.

Varys: Imp, Halfman.

Varys scolds Tyrion about his drinking, saying there are “faster ways to kill yourself.” “Not for a coward,” Tyrion quips. “You are many things, but not a coward.” Tyrion wonders why Varys risked his position and life to help him escape. Varys claims it was because Jaime was too intimidating to refuse, then says he did it for the seven kingdoms and that he believes “men of talent have a part to play in the war to come.” (TITLE DROP!) He thinks Tyrion has a good work ethic, an instinct for politics, and compassion. Tyrion mourns his killing of Shae again and, to a lesser extent, his father. “I never said you were perfect.”

Varys wants peace in the kingdom and thinks it can happen with the right person in power, “stronger than Tommen, but gentler than Stannis.” Tyrion wishes him luck finding him. “Who said anything about him?” He wants to take Tyrion to Meereen to meet Daenerys to “see if the world is worth fighting for.” Forgive me for all the quoting. Varys and Tyrion are awesome.

We see the now-naked pyramid of Meereen, where Hizdahr zo Loraq has come with news that the masters of Yunkai will give up slavery if she’ll reopen the fighting pits, where the now free men can volunteer to fight to the death. She finds the idea barbaric, but Daario thinks she should agree, saying his time in the fighting pits gave him valuable skills and, eventually, his freedom. He also wants her to free her dragons, but she’s afraid of the murder of another child. “A dragon queen with no dragons is not a queen.” Dany goes into the dungeons to visit Rhaegal and Viserion. They scream and snap and spew fire. She backs away and leaves them, shaken.

Back at Castle Black, Jon visits Mance in Wall Jail. Mance knows what Stannis wants and, at the least, admires his balls, but says he’ll never serve him or let his people bleed for him. Jon thinks they’ll die anyhow as they’ll never survive north of the wall and that Mance’s pride is the only thing in the way. Jon tells him Stannis will burn him alive if he doesn’t agree, but Mance thinks it’s better than kneeling. Principles and all that! “You’re a good lad, truly, but if you can’t understand why I won’t enlist my people in a foreigner’s war, there’s no point explaining.” Jon thinks he’s making a terrible mistake. “The freedom to make my own mistakes is all I ever wanted.” That night, Mance is marched out to the courtyard and a waiting pyre. Stannis offers him one last chance to “bend the knee” and live. Mance only says “This was my home for many years. I wish you good fortune in the wars to come.” A second title drop? That’s rare for this show.

Mance stiffens, but doesn’t struggle as he’s chained to the stake. Selyse and Shireen (!!!) look on and Melisandre moves to the pyre to make a speech about how we all choose light or darkness, good or evil, true god or false. I’ve said it before, if that pyromaniac Rhlor, the supposed lord of light, is the real deal as far as Westerosi gods, I’d look up whatever the Westeros equivalent of Satanist was and sign right up. She calls Mance a king of lies and lights him up as his followers look on. To his credit, it takes Mance a good long while to make a noise and, even then, it’s more pained moans than screams. Jon can’t with this shit and walks off. Ygritte can’t, either, and hides her face in Sam’s shoulder. Out of nowhere, an arrow mercy-kills Mance and everyone, including Mance, turns to see Jon holding the bow.

Hey! Where’s Arya?

Passing The Bechdel Test…

We squeak by with Cersei’s brief flashback scene. This show has a good number of interesting female characters. It’s a shame they barely interact. But I will give them credit for having more male nudity then female in this episode. It will take a lot more to even it out, however, so… nudge, nudge, wink, wink, say no more.

The Women of Westeros…

Daenerys is still in a tough position. She’s a woman with noble intentions and every change she’s making is of the good, but she is not in a world ready for that change to come so quickly. Last season we saw some of the slaves were having trouble with freedom in a world they’ve never navigated and now we see her Unsullied are almost too untouched to be on their guard. Her dragons didn’t do well with freedom and they aren’t responding well to being caged, either. And now she’s being pressured to bring back “human cockfighting.” She may end up having to ease people into her new world or even compromise her ideals if she is to survive and rule. We saw what happens to those who are too noble for their own good with Ned.

Speaking of too noble… Seeing Brienne lose all hope and push Podrick away was a little heart-breaking, but this is a good step for her. Last season, it was hard to see her forced to grow up so fast and so brutally in that violent fight with The Hound over Arya. She’s been noble to the point of naivete and sheltered in that for so long that you worry she can survive in the world, even with her fighting skills. I hope Pod snaps her out of her funk, but I also hope we see a more world-wise Brienne going forward.

Cersei doesn’t have any problems with excess nobility. She’s out to protect her own interests. She does care deeply for her children, which I might say is a redeeming quality, except for how that love is expressed through control to the point of nearly poisoning them at Blackwater Bay. I did enjoy the moment when she’s brought to the Sept. There’s a clanking as she descends her litter and I seriously expected to see her in chains, but she’s not. A bit of foreshadowing, maybe?

I loved Margaery just barging in and snacking away while Loras and his newest boytoy cuddled. It was kind of nice, seeing a couple of Tyrells scheming and whispering in the castle again. Then again, Loras is no Olenna (come back!). I think the women of that family got all the brains. Loras is sure pretty, but not much upstairs.

We don’t get much Missandei, but what we do is telling. She was rather cagey, asking about the Unsullied and their rumored brothel visits. I think she was hoping Greyworm could give her some insight into their future. It’s obvious those two crazy kids are into each other, but it must be scary for her, not sure what their physical relationship could be like or if it could even exist.

I kind of like this darker, snarkier, more world-weary Sansa. She’s obviously more secure in her standing, since she feels so free to talk down to Littlefinger. Then again, she was quite the mouthy little miss with her Septa and her mother before Joffrey broke her spirit. It looks like she’s getting a bit of herself back in her current state of captivity. I don’t think she has any feelings for Petyr Baelish, but she’s confident he’s enamored of her and I think she feels secure enough to use that up to a point.

Melisandre creeps me out, as usual. Not just with her lust for burning people, but her asking Jon Snow if he’s a virgin. Please, show, please don’t add some gratuitous and unnecessary Jon/Mel seduction scene!

Gilly didn’t have a lot to say or do in this episode, but she’s consistent. She’s determined and intelligent, considering her odd upbringing. I know the book and the show are two different animals, so I am really rooting for her as things progress, that her driving desire to protect her son is rewarded.

I don’t know if we’ll be seeing Maggy, the magical blood-fetishist witch again, but I wouldn’t mind them going back to that creepy hut. Selyse and Shireen only show up in a glimpse, but Shireen is still adorable so let’s hope we get more of her being precocious and bonding with Davos before Stannis sends him off again.

I’m dying to see Dorne and The Sandsnakes. Having just Brienne and Arya as our Action Girls is not so satisfying when one doesn’t show up and the other just sits and sharpens her sword and doesn’t use it! On another Dornish note, I hope we see Ellaria, just so I know she’s coping okay after the mentally scarring horror show that was Oberyn’s death.

Other Notes…

As far as season openers go, this wasn’t extremely exciting, but it did its job. Rather than shoving us back into the narrative, it set the characters in place and eased us back into this world. It was a solid bridge to what’s coming next.

I hear that the first four episodes leaked and I guess a damned lot of people got a hold of them as I have seen more than one spoilery gif on tumblr. I’m trying to keep myself away from seeing anything before it’s been put out, so I really wish the internet would just be cool, damn it, just this once!

Fangasms…

Tyrion and Varys arguing about drinking! Tyrion and Varys trading insults! Tyrion and Varys on the road! Tyrion and Varys! This is one change from the book I am a billion percent behind! There are certain kinds of breaks from canon I love and this is my favorite kind — taking characters who don’t have enough time together or none at all and letting them mix it up. I loved the throne room chats between Varys and Littlefinger. I loved it when Tywin and Arya had a brief bit of time together. I loved Arya and Brienne having a moment to compare their action girl pasts. I loved The Hound being bested by Brienne.

I love this more than any of those. Maybe it’s because, from what I hear from the cast at panels, Conleth Hill and Peter Dinklage are the most fun on set. Maybe that certain charisma they share is part of it, but their scenes always have me at gleeful attention.

I’m so happy to gif-out this review. This is one of the most visually stunning shows, nearly movie quality, so I love seeing it in motion.

Next up: The House of Black and White

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All images from Game of Thrones are property of HBO, D.B. Weiss and David Benioff and used here for criticism and analysis only. All gifs are thanks to the tireless efforts of the anonymous gif-makers all over the internet.

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April Walsh
Legendary Women

Professional singer. Amateur writer. Accomplished nerd.