Game of Thrones & the Women of Westeros 5/10

“Mother’s Mercy” is bleak, bloody, and drains you of all hope for the future. And not even in the usual GOT finale way.

Previously…

I went into “The Dance of Dragons” here and even dragon flights couldn’t assuage the loss of sweet Shireen. Will this episode make it better?

In a nutshell…

No. I could leave it at that, but I won’t. Let’s relive the pain together, shall we?

We open at a significantly less snowy Camp Stannis on everyone’s least favorite child-burning enthusiast, Mel. She goes to Stannis’s tent, pretty damned skippy about the melting ice, the lord keeping his promise, and the future burning of Bolton banners (and I assume any nearby children just for funsies). Stannis, who’s a definite child-burner, but less enthusiastic about it than Mel, angrily brushes her off to go rally the men, but he’s told half of them have run off with all of the remaining horses. Good! He glares at Mel, who looks like this does not compute for her. Then another soldier comes to lead him to the forest for even more bad news. Selyse has hung herself from a tree. He orders her cut down for yet another guard to tell him Mel’s “been seen riding out of camp.” He wants to march onto Winterfell regardless.

At The Wall, Jon is telling Sam about the last moments at Hardhome and the even bigger army the White Walkers now have and hoping they can’t climb the wall, at least, since they don’t even have the dragonglass to fight them off. Sam is encouraged by Jon’s sword having shattered one, but there’s not enough Valyrian steel left in the world to arm them. Jon beats himself up more for being hated by his Brothers for saving Wildlings. Sam’s probably done trying to stop that nonsense (Seriously, other Crows? The Walkers and their zombie army could have been even bigger, you dumbasses!), so he changes the subject.

He wants to take Gilly and the baby to Oldtown and study for the… maesterhood, I guess. Jon doesn’t want his only trusted adviser gone, but Sam thinks he’ll be more use as a Maester. Besides that, Gilly and Little Sam aren’t safe here and he doesn’t want his last act to be failing to protect them. There’s also a little confession as to Sam and Gilly’s relationship upgrade and Jon reflecting that at least the end of the world is working out for someone. In the end, Jon reluctantly watches them go.

At Winterfell, the men are busy preparing for Stannis and Sansa has used that corkscrew she smuggled to pick the lock on her little prison (Not to torture Ramsay? Darn!). She’s all cloaked up and finally sneaks off to the broken tower in all the battle confusion. Brienne is still just sitting around watching the tower when Pod comes to tell her Stannis and his men are marching on Winterfell. She gets all revenge-eyed and abandons her watch just as Sansa lights up that window.

It’s really annoying.

Out in the fields, Ramsay’s much larger numbers come out to surround what’s left of Stannis’ men. We don’t see the battle, probably because most of the battle budget went to Hardhome. I’m kind of okay with that. I’d rather have seen a battle where I can root for someone. Between these two, I’d rather they all die in a battle/suicide pact. Anyway, it doesn’t go well for Stannis. Yeah, Stannis. That’s what you get when you burn your daughter and drive your wife to suicide. Low morale, low loyalty, and left in a forest to bleed to death alone. Well, not totally alone. He’s got all the dead and two of Ramsay’s bastardettes track him down.

He fights them off, but he’s lost way too much blood to get up again and that’s when Brienne comes upon him. She sentences him to death for murdering Renly, rightful king and all that. I’d argue that neither of them were rightful (I just want elections at this point, mandate from the masses), but Stannis seems to finally get that coldly murdering his brother through blood magic might have been a dick move and maybe he doesn’t much care to live after sacrificing Shireen for nothing.

We cut to Ramsay mercilessly finishing off the last of Stannis’ men, even those who try to surrender, then heads back to his “wife.” As for Sansa, she’s been using the battle distraction to try to escape since no one saw her candle in the tower. Myranda waylays her to escort her back to her tower with a bow and arrow and Reek by her side. Sansa’s over this shit. “If I’m going to die, let it be while there is still some of me left.” Myranda says Ramsay needs her and heirs to hold the North, but has no problem with her being mutilated aside from her reproductive parts. Sansa still refuses to go back to jail, so Myranda prepares to start filling select parts of her with arrows. Reek seems to finally snap, then.

I don’t think she’s gonna make it, y’all. Good. Theon (can we call him that now?) and Sansa rush to the outer wall and look at the deep snow below. They don’t seem to care if it’s enough to break the fall.

We don’t see them land. We go to Braavos instead and see Meryn Trant with a selection of three little girls in front of him and a wooden stick to whip them with. So that’s his kind of fun. At least we don’t have to see anything sexual, but that doesn’t make it easy to watch as girls one and two cry out at sharp raps to the back. Girl three, however, doesn’t make a noise even after three hits. He dismisses the others to concentrate on her. He hits her to the floor and she pulls her wig and face off to reveal Arya as she leaps on him, stabbing out his eyes and stuffing a rag in his mouth. She gives him a few more quick stabs before launching into her victory speech.

I want her to pull out the gag because a part of me always believed Syrio survived that fight. “I’ve gotten a few of the others. The Many-Faced God stole a few more from me. I’m glad he left me you.” She kneels beside the moaning and bleeding mess and asks if he knows who she is. She gives him another stab in the stomach. “You know who I am. I’m Arya Stark.” She pulls out the gag. “Do you know who you are?” He just moans and cries. “You’re no one. You’re nothing,” she says before slicing his throat.

I love and hate this scene. More on why below. Back at the HOBAW, she’s putting back the face she stole and Not-Jaqen and The Waif come to berate her for stealing a death that wasn’t hers and using a face before she was ready. He says a debt is owed to the Many-Faced God. “Only death can pay for life,” he says, pulling out a vial of poison as the Waif holds her still. Then he swallows it himself, which doesn’t give her any relief, she cries and shakes him, screaming “You don’t die.” It seems Arya thought he was her friend, which is also not very No-One of her.

The Waif suddenly becomes another Jaqen (confirming my theory that Jaqen is just a handy face) and asks why she’s crying over No One. Arya’s confused and the other Not-Jaqen says the corpse is “No one at all, just as a girl should have been before she took a face.” Arya pulls at the face to reveal many other faces beneath. “The faces are for No One. You are still someone.” She keeps pulling faces until the corpse is wearing her own. “To someone, the faces are as good as poison.” This is some screwed up mind-f*cking right here. Arya’s vision blurs and goes dark. “I can’t see! What’s happening?” Sweetie, I don’t know, either. I’m still confused the Waif changed face and shape. I hope you get your eyes back, though.

We then go to Dorne (groan) as Doran sees Myrcella, Jaime, and Bronn off. Ellaria kisses Myrcella on the lips, asking for forgiveness (I already know what’s coming. A toddler knows what’s coming). Bronn says bye to Tyene, saying he hopes they meet if he hasn’t married a noblewoman first. Tyene bites Bronn’s ear saying “You want a good girl, but you need a bad pussy.” Blech! Show, I hate your version of the women of Dorne. So much. On the boat, Jaime and Myrcella have a heart-to-heart with him being optimistic about the fact that her betrothal has worked out and maybe even Cersei will come around. Then he awkwardly tries to segue into the truth of her parentage, but she says she knows and always has, deep down, that she’s an incest baby. She’s glad he’s her father. Okay, then. If you’re happy and all. Jaime certainly seems happy. But people on this show aren’t allowed to be happy for long.

On the docks, Ellaria is also bleeding out the nose. Tyene hands her a tissue and then an antidote. Screw this. More on why below.

In Meereen, Tyrion is arguing a little with Daario and Jorah, then a still-bandaged Greyworm joins in, angry that Jorah is there. They all agree things have changed and, after more arguing, settle on a new order. Jorah and Daario are to go off to find Dany while Tyrion, Greyworm, and Missandei hols the fort in Meereen. There’s also a cute exchange in Valyrian (rusty Valyrian, on Tyrion’s part, but it’s nice to hear him speak it. Anyway, as Tyrion looks over his new charge, Varys sneaks up to salvage this episode for me…

Tyrion and I really missed you, Varys.

Somewhere green and rocky, Daenerys is stuck with Drogo, who only wants to sleep and lick his wounds and refuses to fly her home even after she tries awkwardly to get on his back. She wanders off in search of food and finds a Dothraki horde instead. She drops her fancy ring to the ground, maybe as a clue, as they surround her.

In King’s Landing, Septa Ratched has finally broken Cersei down to confess, just not all the way. She goes to The High Sparrow and sheds tears, confessing to adultery with Lancel, but nothing else, even when he presses her about Jaime. He says she’ll have a trial to prove if she’s lying about those accusations and an atonement for her confessed sins. The atonement involves her being roughly scrubbed down by Septa Ratched and getting her hair razored off before being paraded from the Sept to the Keep with Septa Ratched ringing a bell and chanting “Shame!” behind her. It’s hard to watch. The town’s people start off letting her pass, but then get increasingly aggressive, some waving their naked parts around, with their taunts and thrown rubbish.

Cersei starts off stoic, but ends up weeping by the time she reaches the doors with bloody feet. Pycelle leers a bit at her (Gross) as Uncle Kevan just looks on (will he be the resident cold fish with Stannis gone?). Qyburn wraps her in a blanket and introduces her to the newest Kingsguard recruit, Ser Robert Strong, who’s taken a vow of silence. From the size of him, he’s the reanimated corpse of The Mountain. She seems encouraged by all the talk of enemy killing.

At The Wall, Davos is unsuccessfully arguing with Jon about providing men for Stannis when Melisandre rides in, looking defeated. Jon presses her on what’s going on, but she says nothing. Davos asks after Shireen, but she just gives him a blank stare. They both look on miserably as she walks away.

Later, Jon is despondently going through raven scrolls when Olly comes to tell him a man’s come with news that his Uncle Benjen is alive. Remember him? I barely do. It was a simpler show back then. Anyway, it’s all a ruse. The men lure him to a corner with the word “traitor” painted on a board and starting with Thorne, stab him in the gut, all saying “For the watch.” It’s all very ides of March. Olly is the last to approach (the Brutus of it all). Jon says his name pleadingly, but Olly coldly for-the-watches him, too. Jon falls to the ground, bleeding and staring into the camera, as we fade to black.

Well, that was all very depressing.

Passing The Bechdel Test…

I suppose Myranda and Sansa’s little talk helps us squeak by. Whatever.

The Women of Westeros…

We didn’t get much of Dany. Her attempts to mount Drogon were almost funny as was Drogon himself, with his “five more minutes, Mom” act. I can barely speculate as to how the new Khal will treat her, though I think, with Drogon close, she won’t have much to worry about. I really don’t want to see her hanging around the Dothraki again as I find them brutish and cruel, but maybe she’ll just strike some kind of an alliance, then go off to The Wall to roast some White Walkers (maybe a fire priestess, too?). More than the boredom of watching Dany try to rule Meereen, I’m just sick of Dany stuck across the Narrow Sea.

We also got very little Missandei, but what was there was alright. Her little exchange with Tyrion was cute. Her romance with Greyworm… Yeah, I’m not a fan. I think it’s a waste of screen time that could have been better spent on many more exciting events cut from the books. I did like the other men acknowledging her value as Dany’s closest confidante and I hope time managing Meereen with Varys and Tyrion will help her confidence grow.

I’ve never liked the idea of Arya becoming No One in her quest for revenge. I’m still a little on the fence about her complete lack of childhood and loss of innocence. But if revenge is what she needs, then I’d rather see her get it while retaining her identity in the hopes she may reunite with what’s left of her family someday (And maybe Gendry. I kind of ship it. Show Gendry was cast way too old, but somewhere down the line… Of course, shipping is pointless on this show. Forget I said anything). It was hard to hear her crying after so much of stoic, vengeance-focused Arya. It reminds me that she’s still just a kid thrown into a terrible world alone.

As frustrating as it was that Brienne didn’t see Sansa’s signal, I’m good with her executing Stannis. Book Brienne might be a bit past the idea (Or not? Who knows anymore?), but Brienne has been unfairly screwed over in life and in the events since Renly’s death. She deserves to do one of the things she set out to do after failing to get either Stark girl. I hope she meets up with Sansa and Theon.

I was hoping for something bigger with Sansa than simple escape. I just really want her to make Ramsay pay and soon. This was kind of uneventful, though I did like her little “If I die” speech. It was worthy of a Northerner. Maybe next season, she will quietly rally the North in revolt against the Boltons with Brienne and Pod. Maybe we’ll get her joining with the Brotherhood Without Banners as Sansa Stoneheart (a girl can hope).

Cersei has done some terrible things and made some downright stupid choices, so she had some kind of atonement coming. I’d rather it come at the hands of people she’s wronged than a bunch of overly pious douches like The Sparrows, but she has been begging some penance. It didn’t make this fun to watch. Credit where credit is due, this was probably the most nudity (minute by minute) that we’ve had on the show, but it was never sexualized. She just looked bare and vulnerable and it was not a look I expected to see on her. It was rough to watch her break down and I was relieved when Qyburn, creepy as he is, wrapped her in a blanket and a little sympathy.

Replacing Arianne with Ellaria, but giving her nothing to root for was the stupidest adaptation choice of the series. Ellaria was right last week when she said Myrcella wasn’t to blame for the actions of others. I knew she wasn’t finished with her rebellion, but I thought it might take a smarter turn, to something more like what Book Arianne had planned. Arianne’s plan (which I won’t go into here) might not have worked, but at least there was a measure of justice and even a feminist friendly feel to it. Ellaria and The Snakes, all sympathetic characters in the books, have now become petty and mean and it’s very disappointing. Instead of stealthy, competent warriors, we had silly games, supposed comic relief, and dinner theater level fight scenes. I’d rather not see them at all next season if it’s going to be more of this nonsense.

RIP, Myrcella. Since you don’t have an antidote handy, I assume you’re killed off. I knew you were not going to make it to the end after seeing your Mom’s little psychic reading, but I think you deserved better. Maybe a group of strong women rallying to your right to the throne, considering you are older than Tommen (Seriously, Show! Bad use of the Snakes!). I don’t know what the books are going to give you. Maybe it won’t be better. As much as I don’t agree with your incest-friendly feelings and bland acceptance of your Uncle-Daddy, I’m glad you two got to have a little moment before the end.

I guess Mel’s going back to the prophetic drawing board now that she’s finally realized Stannis was not the right horse to back. Worse yet, she’s sacrificed countless people (and one perfect little Shireen) betting on Stannis. I hope it hurts, Mel, but I don’t think you’re capable of feeling actual guilt or remorse. Mel showing up at The Wall could put legs behind the theory that she’ll reanimate Jon a la Beric Dondarrion and start touting him as her new messiah. I don’t want her and Rhlorr to get her hands on him, but… Well, any port in a storm.

RIP, Selyse. I think Stannis was already broken after Shireen. Your death broke the rest of him. I hope the both of you take turns slapping him around in the afterlife. RIA (rest in agony), Myranda. I hope your boyfriend comes to join you and everyone you’ve tortured and killed and had run down by dogs takes turns giving it back. As for Gilly, more a cameo than anything this episode, I hope she does lots of sightseeing and sunbathing while Sam’s in Oldtown school of witchcraft and maesterdry. She’s had a hard life. She deserves a little leisure.

Other notes…

Stannis’ character, book or show, seems to be a study in blindly plodding on against all odds with the belief that some destiny or prophecy (that may not even be about him) will carry the day. He has little regard for personal happiness and doesn’t see that obstinately chasing something he thinks he’s owed due to his perceived right and abilities to rule (maybe also due to butthurt over Robert’s poor treatment of him).

I think Stannis could have been a competent and fair, if cold, ruler much like Tywin was when Hand to The Mad King. His ruin came with tossing in with Mel and her fire demon rather than Davos’s counsel. If he’d stayed longer at The Wall, at least started the process of preparing them for the White Walkers. He could have used that and the idea that he cares about the bigger picture as leverage to rally the North to his cause. They care about The Night’s Watch and believe in the old stories more than the rest of Westeros. Between that, their hatred for the Boltons, and Ned Stark having endorsed him, he could have been the king to back. Leaving things to Mel’s vague prophecies and talk of destiny screwed him over in the show. It remains to be seen if the books will end the same.

As for other events… Even taking the books out of it, Jon Snow has had too much mystery and possible prophecy built up around him to just die, so I know he’ll survive. The only question is how and whether I’m going to like it. Most theories land on variations of him warging into his direwolf (Ghost!Jon) or Mel bringing him back through the kiss of fire (AzorAhai!Jon). I guess I prefer the second with him back in his own body with his own blood, otherwise all the hints about his true parentage are for nothing. I just can’t stand Mel and her creepy-ass fire god, but you know…

Then again, the show runners and Kit Harrington insist Kit will not be coming back as Jon Snow, so maybe they don’t care what GRRM writes at this point. They killed off Mance for good when the books didn’t and Catelyn Stark was not resurrected as Lady Stoneheart. Maybe they’re just going to make up their own version of events, even up to the ending. GRRM insists the show and books are two diverging paths leading to the same end. While the show can sometimes make changes I enjoy (fleshing out Syrio Forell and Arya, letting Tyrion meet Daenerys, expanding Varys, Olenna and Margaery), after the disappointment of Dorne and the insistence of letting Jon Snow stay dead and the general sloppy storytelling as compared to the books, I have less faith in their path. As you can tell, I’m not a superfan this week.

Fangasms…

I don’t really have any. I guess it was kind of kickass, seeing Arya get some bloody revenge, but the next scene took the dark glee out of it. There’s also still that certain sadness as Arya is still about thirteen and looks it (despite Maisie Williams being eighteen years old and actually older than Sophie Turner/Sansa). It’s hard to watch a kid kill someone brutally. I also love/hate Hitgirl in the same way.

I did like seeing Varys and Tyrion reunited. It was the only time I smiled besides Tyrion’s Valyrian slip-up.

I’m actually glad to get out of Westeros for a change. I usually end a season desperately waiting for the next, but not this time. I might feel differently when the next season is close. I might feel differently if the next book comes before the next season. I can’t say right now. This season finale has just left me depressed and drained and looking for a good story to invest in.

If anyone has suggestions, I’m open.

Next up: Season 6

You can also check out my X-Files recaps if you like.

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All images from Game of Thrones are property of Weiss, Benioff, HBO, a whole slew of other people that aren’t me and are used here for criticism and illustration only. All gifs are thanks to the tireless efforts of anonymous gif makers across the internet.

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