Game Of Thrones & the Women of Westeros: 7.1–7.3
“Dragonstone” checks in on all of our major players while “Stormborn” starts off the skirmishing and “The Queen’s Justice” finally puts ice and fire together.
Did you miss me? (Don’t answer that) I know there’s just a wee handful of you Freefolk that read my silly, snarky recaps, but I felt it would be remiss of me not to explain where I’ve been. First of all, Legendary Women has been on a semi-hiatus, and we’ve decided that, with so many of us dealing with struggle or overload in other areas of our lives, that is okay. I still did intend to get these recaps up after each episode, but… let’s just say I’ve had death and drama in my life and — after the backbiting, machinations, and drunken voicemail rants of a giant Irish Catholic family — I long for the gentle civility of Westeros. I’m not even kidding. I’m going to zoom through the first three super-sized installments and all my assorted feelings about them. Come join me…
Previously…
When we last left off, Daenerys was finally sailing to Westeros with Tyrion, Varys, Missandei, the Unsullied and the Dothraki in tow, with Yara and Theon as allies, as well as Olenna and the horrible, pointless, terribly adapted Ellaria and the Snakes. Arya has graduated from the very confusing Faceless University to use their training and resources for revenge, brutally killing Walder Frey and his sons. Bran and Meera were wandering The Far North alone after Bran learned that R+L=J. Jon, with the help of The Vale and The Wildlings, defeated Ramsay Bolton (who killed off his family before Sansa killed him). And Sansa is left feeling proud/jealous of Jon being declared King in the North. As for Cersei, she killed off most of House Tyrell and most of King’s Landing, destroying the Faith of the Seven before declaring herself Queen, making herself the worst mass-murderer in a very bloody world. Congratulations?
As for me, during my recap, I reaffirmed how much I DO want the dragon to have three heads and how much I DO NOT want anymore incest ever. And, of course, this show is famous for giving me everything I want and nothing I don’t.
In a nutshell…
“Dragonstone” kills off the guiltiest of the Freys, courtesy of Arya Stark, but shows us she hasn’t lost all humanity by leaving the women and children to live, along with some Lannister pawns and Ed Sheeran, when she meets them on the road later.
The credits have evolved, showing the water east of The Wall has frozen over. Bran journeys South, greenseeing Walkers all the way, with poor Meera dragging him, as always. At The Wall, they gain entrance through Bran’s twin powers of psychic visions and creepy monotone. At Winterfell, Jon is insisting that they should spend all their time mining Dragonglass, and that everyone over ten and under sixty will train to fight with it, women and girls included!
Jon also sends Tormund and the Wildlings to Eastwatch. Sansa and Jon disagree on the Umbers and Karstarks keeping their homes. But Jon doesn’t want to punish Ned Umber and Alys Kartstark, both kids, for their father’s sins. He has them swear fealty instead.
Jon and Sansa argue later about her undermining him in public, but she thinks he is being naively honorable, which killed Ned and Robb. They also argue about whether The Night King is a bigger threat than Cersei (he is!)
As for Cersei, she is planning world domination and arguing with Jaime over her methods. Jaime still wants her to have what she wants, I guess, but points out that they have no allies. But Cersei brings in a new one: Euron Greyjoy.
He comes in with some cool-ass ships and chews the scenery with relish and asks for her hand in marriage, promising her a gift to show he’s a serious suitor, bragging about his two hands, much to Jaime’s annoyance. I must say that next to Cersei, and after Joffrey and Ramsay, Euron’s just a playful kitten.
In Oldtown, we are treated to the symphony of grunts, groans, splashes of food and vomit and bedpans that make up Sam’s training. We also meet Archmaester Ebrose (JIM BROADBENT! I LOVE HIM!), who doesn’t so much doubt Sam’s claims that the White Walkers exist, but doesn’t concern himself about it, believing that people always get in a panic about the world ending, but it never happens. So he’s no help.
Sam eyes the Restricted Section longingly before finally just swiping some keys and pilfering a few books and scrolls, going over them with Gilly and the increasingly adorable Little Sam, when he discovers that there is a mountain of dragonglass under Dragonstone (cue a raven to Jon). He also meets Jorah Mormont, kept in what I’m assuming is quarantine.
Brienne is still kicking Podrick’s ass in training and Tormund is still leering at her to her annoyance. Somewhere snowy (which will be everywhere soon) The Hound and The Brotherhood come upon the cottage of the father and little girl The Hound robbed in season 4 after they gave him shelter. I mean, he also grouses a lot and makes fun of Thoros’ man-bun. Look, I can’t even pretend I don’t love every second of this. The Hound is just the best. Not every man can get away with the C-word and make it sound both bad-ass and justified.
The Hound finds the farmer and daughter dead and later buries them with some rusty prayers and regrets. He also sees, despite his fear of fire, the giant Army of the Dead marching past The Wall and agrees to journey North.
Finally, we see Daenerys and the gang, arriving at a completely abandoned Dragonstone, her former home. They take the long walk up with majestic music. It does seem almost too easy, just walking in, but I’m not really complaining (we know the budget is being saved for bigger things). Daenerys walks the halls and runs her fingers the wreckage of Stannis’ grand plans on that awesome battle table before saying to Tyrion…
Daenerys “Stormborn” (title drop!) Targaryen and her merry band of exiled are plotting at Dragonstone. She agrees with Tyrion that she doesn’t want to take those dragons and burn everything indiscriminately. They will use the Tyrells (yay!) and the Dornish (boo!). She also calls Varys out on his whispers and shifting loyalties, but Varys claims he serves the people rather than any ruler. She seems to respect that, but tells him to tell her to her face if she is failing the people, rather than conspiring…
Mel shows up and breaks up the party to tell Dany she’s throwing her lot in with her, but Varys (not a red-god fan) points out she delivered Stannis to his death. She thought he was “the Prince who was promised that will bring the dawn,” Missandei informs Dany, and all of us, that in high Valyrian, there is no gender for prince or princess. Anyway, Mel’s there to tell her to summon Jon Snow and Tyrion vouches for him as well. She agrees to it, but only to tell him to “bend the knee.” We immediately cut to Jon discussing the message (those ravens must have been speed-training for this season) from Tyrion, who added his own spin, with Sansa and Davos at Winterfell. Sansa says not to go, but Davos wonders if dragons and more men could come in handy in fighting the White Walkers.
At King’s Landing, Cersei is convincing Tyrell bannermen to join her, crapping all over the Unsullied “eunuchs” and Dothraki “heathens.” Um, Cersei? Remember how you destroyed the Sept and all the faithful? Let’s talk about who’s the biggest Heathen. Sadly, no one points that out because they’re all scared of foreigners. Jaime even sways Sam Tarly’s awful father and brother to her side. Later, Maester Frankenburn shows Cersei his patented, guaranteed Dragonkiller. He slices, dices, raises the dead. What creepy thing can’t he do?
In Oldtown, ArchMaester Ebrose gives Jorah, now with a torso full of greyscale, a death sentence, but Sam thinks they should try healing him. Ebrose says it’s beyond them, but Sam later gets into the Restricted Section again, then sneaks to Jorah’s cell with booze and instructions and sharp things. He basically cuts off the hardened layers and applies ointment while Jorah grunts, growls, and whines like a wounded animal. It’s super gross. Also disappointing. I just felt like it should be more complicated and maybe involve dragonglass, but what do I know? I hope the books make it more interesting.
At Dragonstone, the entire gang is in the war room, along with Yara, Theon, Olenna, and the stupid Dornish snakes. Yara thinks they should just hit King’s Landing now, no matter how many die. Ellaria agrees, because of course she does. Tyrion shuts her down and reaffirms his standing as my number one show boyfriend!
Dany shuts everyone down and quotes Tyrion on not being “Queen of the ashes.” Olenna is still hurting over Margaery (me, too!) and thinks killing Cersei should be numero uno, but Tyrion’s plan is to use their combined forces to keep King’s Landing from getting food and supplies from the land and sea around it while the Unsullied take Casterly Rock.
Dany has Olenna stay after class and gets some schooling from my favorite queen, even though I don’t agree with her advice, which is basically “peace doesn’t last, clever men like Tyrion aren’t always right, you’re a dragon, be a dragon, go f#^% some s*@$ up.” Also, Missandei wishes Greyworm luck in battle… with oral sex. Well, with Greyworm’s lack of genitalia, it’s kind of the other way around, but she seems pretty happy about it.
Along the road, we meet Arya again and HOT PIE! She is not as thrilled to see him as I am, but he’s happy to see her. She filches pies and he lets her as she informs him she’s heading to King’s Landing, but she changes course and gets some life in her eyes after he tells her Jon defeated the Boltons and is King in the North. On the way, she’s waylaid by a pack of wolves and I’m so happy because I know who the leader of the pack is!
Arya asks her to come home to Winterfell with her, but Nymeria just sadly leads her pack away. Arya gets it. “That’s not you,” she says with a slight smile.
At Winterfell, Jon speechifies to the Northerners that that he’s going to Dragonstone, both because of Dany’s dragons and the Dragonglass he now knows is under there, courtesy of Sam’s raven that finally came (I guess he doesn’t have Dany’s express ravens). They make angry noise about how Targaryens can’t be trusted (ruh-roh! What are they going to do when they find out who Jon’s father so obviously is?). Jon insists he has to go, no matter how risky it is, reminding them they haven’t seen the Night King and his army. Sansa’s mad, too, but she calms down a bit when Jon leaves her in charge. Down in the crypts, Jon broods at Ned’s statue till Littlefinger comes down to annoy him and pretend he’s on his team, leering about Sansa. Jon chokes him against a wall, as is his father would have (and has) done.
On a boat somewhere, Ellaria and the Snakes are being their typical obnoxious selves. Ellaria makes it even worse by coming on to Yara. Luckily, we and Yara are spared the full sexing (I’m positive Ellaria’s repulsiveness can be transmitted sexually) by Euron and Pals showing up, shooting up the ship and boarding it. As much as I care about Yara and Theon (who knew that would ever happen?), I’m totally fine with him unceremoniously killing two snakes (Not-the-good-Nymeria and Obara). Theon tries to fight back, but is stopped by his PTSD and devolves back into Reek, jumping overboard and abandoning Yara to Euron’s tender mercies. But it’s kind of evened out by how Ellaria and Tyene are captured.
Finally, in “The Queen’s Justice,” Jon and Daenerys and the dragons all finally meet and I thoroughly enjoy Jon practically getting knocked over by a dragon when he says “he’s not a Stark,” as if saying he ain’t a Snow either.
He meets Daenerys and her mile-long list of titles, as proclaimed by Missandei. While Davos hilariously proclaims his titles.
Dany still insists he bend the knee, but he doesn’t want to lose the Northerners’ loyalty. They argue back and forth a bit about who has suffered more at the hands of whose family. Jon tries speechifying about the army of the dead, but Davos speechifies better, IMO. “If we don’t put aside our enmities, we will die. And then it doesn’t matter whose skeleton sits on the Iron Throne.” Anyway, neither Dany nor Tyrion are convinced the army of the dead exists, but they let Jon and Davos stay just before Varys comes with news of what happened to the Ironborn ships.
Up on the cliffs, Mel is hiding from Jon and being taunted by Varys for it. Mel reveals she made mistakes (ya think?!) and that she’s done her part, bringing ice and fire together. She’s going to Volantis, but will come back. “I have to die in this strange country. Just like you.” Ugh, she so creepy! I wonder what a scene between her and Maester Frankenburn would be like. Probably just a shudder-fest.
Somewhere on the sea, Theon is fished out of the water by one of the good Ironborn ships, though they sneer at his cowardice in letting Yara get captured. Meanwhile, Yara and the snakes are being marched through King’s Landing by Euron and pals, pelted with fruit and rocks and curses. I just don’t get the people of King’s Landing. How are they on Team Cersei after she killed half of them? Maybe they just love a good shaming, no matter where it comes from. Anyway, Euron still wants her to put a ring on it and Cersei “promises” he’ll get it when the war is won. Euron taunts Jaime about how much sex he’s going to have with his sister.
Anyway, Cersei gets Ellaria and Tyene, blessedly gagged, in a cell. She points out that she understands her pain, but Oberyn would have won against The Mountain if he hadn’t overplayed his hand (she’s right) asking her why poor Myrcella had to die when it made no sense (right again! Cersei rarely makes sense, so this is a banner day!). She finally gets her revenge on Ellaria by kissing Tyene with the same poison, then taking the antidote, leaving Ellaria to watch her daughter die and rot.
I approve of all of the above. Then she rushes off to have sex with Jaime, who resists at first, but gives in. The next day, she flaunts their relationship in front of the help. I approve much less, but whatever. Then she meets with the Iron Bank’s rep and we are reminded the Lannister gold is gone and they are in deep debt. She promises they’ll get all their money and then some if they back her.
At Dragonstone, Tyrion and Jon talk on the cliffs. Tyrion is kind of convinced the threat up North is real since he doesn’t think Jon and Jeor Mormont are liars or madmen, but he also pimps Dany as an ideal queen. Later, he counsels Dany to let him mine the Dragonglass, at least, since it would make no difference to her.
At Winterfell, Sansa is thinking of the practical things like food for the winter and better armor (Good Sansa!), but she also still lets Littlefinger get in her head (Bad Sansa!). Bran arrives with Meera. It’s pretty emotional for Sansa, but he’s still pretty dead-eyed. They sit under a Weirwood and she informs him, with being trueborn, he’s lord of Winterfell, but he refuses the title, since he’s taken on being The Three-eyed Raven. He reveals he saw all that happened to her and is sorry for it, but since he’s still dead inside, she’s creeped the hell out.
In Oldtown, Jorah surprises Ebrose by being all healed up, despite some nasty scarring. Ebrose lets him leave to find his queen, but also scold-praises Sam for secretly healing him. Finally, we get to the battles! Aw, yeah!
Or aw, no! Grey Worm and the Unsullied basically waltz in and take Casterly Rock, thanks to Tyrion knowing the secret pathways since he designed all the sewers. It is super underwhelming, even Euron’s ships attacking their fleet in the distance is like a little footnote. Most of the Lannister men are off laying siege to The Reach and House Tyrell. It is also underwhelming. Luckily, Olenna saves the ending. Jaime finds her in her tower, telling him what a monster Cersei and Joffrey were, and what a fool he is. Though Cersei wants her tortured, he gives her poison, a merciful end, which she drinks down before revealing who really killed Joffrey.
The Women of Westeros…
I was thrilled to see Daenerys content for a second, touching the land of her birthplace. It’s not made as clear in the TV series, but though Daenerys is driven by this combination of birthright and revenge for being exiled all these years, she does long for a place to call home after years of living nowhere more than a year. I also liked her conversation with Varys, even with the death threat. I’m not a huge fan of when she puts on her queen hat too hard, all “I’m the rightful heir, blahddy blah,” mostly because I still think her father deserved to lose the throne. But her actions thus far, though brutal, still make her a better alternative to Cersei. But I am surprised by how much more I like Jon’s style, though I didn’t think I would. He’s a bit gentler as a ruler and, if “the dragon has three heads,” then I hope his will temper hers a little. We’ll see…
Cersei is still both repulsive and interesting to me. I’m trying to figure out if she has resigned herself to the prophecy, most of which has now come true, and is grabbing what she can get before her death or if her grabbing all this power is fear-based, putting her in a position where she thinks she can’t be killed. Either way, she doesn’t seem any happier as Queen than she did as Queen Regent, still hanging out with her old pals: booze and dissatisfaction. As much as I can’t stand her actions up till now, she gets good marks from me for dealing with the Dornish plague so handily!
I have no idea what to say about Arya. I love everything. I love that she got revenge on House Frey, but contained her killing to the guilty. I love that she came upon soldiers who were obviously off to fight for Cersei, but restrained herself from killing them as they are just pawns in this game. I love that she got to see Nymeria again, but understood her enough to let her go and I adore that she went to Winterfell instead of King’s Landing because I was a bit disturbed in her scene with the best chef in the seven kingdoms — AKA my sweet Hot Pie — with her eyes nearly as dead as Bran’s. I really want to see her regain more of her sense of self and humanity… while also ruthelessly killing baddies.
Sansa definitely has a point about Umber and Karstark and how their treachery should be punished, but so does Jon in that their children are not the guilty party. I wonder how much of the North agrees with her and I wonder whether she will use Jon’s time away to curry favor, which Littlefinger seems to be behind. She’s definitely competent, as her scenes in episode three attest, but she’s also still a bit too bitter to be trusted with things like doling out justice, sort of like the never-to-appear Lady Stoneheart.
Olenna is still my favorite queen! I never kidded myself that she would make it to the end, but I’m glad she got a worthy death, dying as she lived: throwing shade and calling names and smirking delightfully. The level of stupid in Westeros has suddenly gone up with her passing.
Missandei has certainly come a long way, between her confidence and competence as Dany’s favorite advisor. And it was nice to see her and Grey Worm finally consummate their love, so to speak.
It’s nice to see Mel admit her “mistakes.” I’d rather she call them heinous crimes, but potato/potatah. I still can’t forgive her for Shireen. The Brotherhood also worships Rhlorr, but I don’t see them sacrificing innocents in his name.
Lyanna Mormont continues to be an inspiration to us all as does Brienne. My only wish is that we could see them more. Gilly and Meera also continue to be underused, relegated to cameos. I just hope there’s something good in store for them before the end.
As for Ellaria and the Snakes, they are overused because even a second is too much. You know what I hate most about them? How little sense they make. To take Oberyn “we don’t hurt little girls” Martell and make those dearest to him avenge him by killing several innocent people pisses me off to no end. I get that this show can brutally punish the goodhearted, but if you were to ask Ellaria if Oberyn would be cheering her on here, you know she couldn’t argue that he would. I just feel that, if this plot even followed the spirit of the book, we wouldn’t have hated these ladies so much (and don’t try to tell me you didn’t). If you want to know what I would have done, I’d have given Ellaria Arianne’s character traits and plot from the book. I don’t think it would have been too hard to have her get Myrcella killed by accident and still end up here. But whatever. R.I.P. Not-the-good-Nymeria, Obara, Tyene and (eventually) Ellaria. I wish you had made sense or been awesome and that I wasn’t so relieved to see you go.
Passing the Bechdel Test…
“Dragonstone” barely squeaks by with that tiny exchange between Arya and Child Bride Frey. Sansa and Brienne’s exchange doesn’t count, as they were discussing Littlefinger. “Stormborn” passes with flying colors between Dany and Olenna’s awesome chat and Yara and Ellaria’s terrible one. “The Queen’s Justice” also passes with Cersei and Ellaria’s scene. Cersei does discuss Oberyn, but not as much as Myrcella, Tyene, and Ellaria, whose grunts I am counting as they were practically words.
Other Notes…
Probably because of my experiences this Summer, I actually teared up at the quote from the Lannister soldier, hoping his unborn child would be a girl because “daughters take care of their fathers in their old age. Sons just go off to die fighting some one else’s war.” It’s obviously true for the time, but it also kind of applies even now, at least for me and most of the women in my family. I’ve spent a good deal of time taking care of people in my family in whatever way I can, as have my aunts. It’s not the kind of bravery they write songs about, but it takes a lot to get through it, day to day. Though it’s not as exciting to watch as a battle, and it’s not very heck-yeah-girl-powery, it’s just sweet to see that kind of contribution valued.
I loved Jon’s insistence that women and girls fight. He’s damned right. I have, sadly, seen some corners of the internet calling this feminist propaganda and I find that ridiculous. This is a war to beat all wars and they won’t win it with only half the population fighting, as he said. Imagine if, in The Walking Dead, only boys were trained in the ways of zombie-killing. In the words of the immortal Syrio Forel…
“Dragonstone” gets an A while “Stormborn” gets an A++. It would have been a lower grade for including the still-nonsensical Ellaria and the Snakes, but then it killed two of them and sent the other two to certain death and jumped a gazillion points! “The Queen’s Justice” gets an A+++ for killing off a third and for making Olenna’s death such sweet, sweet revenge.
Next up: Episodes 7.4–7.6
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