Turning Grief Into Action: Parents Fight Against Teen Suicide
At the beginning you counted the days, then the weeks, then months, the firsts of everything. Now it just does not matter the number. It does get better. (Kim Beverly).
Update: 11/13/19: Please continue to support the efforts of The Morgan Beverly Suicide Prevention Association.
Seven years ago, Kim Beverly’s daughter Morgan took her own life. She was sixteen years old. Morgan was a strikingly beautiful, passionate, artistic young woman. She was charming and magical and her death was shocking because she was so very alive.
Since then, Kim has counseled all-too-many parents who have lost their children. According to her:
I know the shell shocked look in their eyes. Unless you have survived it — you cannot fathom what it looks like, feels like, smells like. I try to reach out to the parents, the mothers especially, that find themselves dumped on the road that I now travel on. I have a little experience with navigating this road, so I try to at least pick them up and point them in the forward direction. (Kim Beverly).
Kim and her family started the Morgan Beverly Suicide Prevention Foundation , initially as a coping mechanism:
Morgan was so full of life — so passionate — that I could not let that be the end of her. Gone. I knew she still had a voice and that I was going to be the one to help spread awareness about teen suicide. I was going to be the one who was screaming it from the rooftops.
The Foundation has put thousands of dollars into education and events to help parents in Anne Arundel County learn how to help kids, and has been active in fundraising for those efforts. For the past 3 years, Split Ends, a Severna Park Hair Salon, has hosted The Morgan Beverly Festival The fundraising event featured vendors, raffles, a fashion show, food, a cornhole tournament, and other events.
Kim is also the Co-Chair for the Annapolis Out of the Darkness Walk, sponsored by the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention, a national organization whose goal is to reduce suicide in the U.S. by 20% by 2025. According to Kim, last year;
Our walk was in the top 10 out of nearly 400 walks across the country — but we still have a lot of work to do.This year will be the biggest and will touch many lives I do hope. It is always amazing to see how many people this affects.
The Foundation is also a proponent of more education in the school system, and dialogue between parents and teens:
I think it is hard for anyone to talk about the subject. Not so long ago it was taboo to mention it — you never really knew how that person died. I think it is really hard for the schools to talk about it without making people upset…our teens go to way too many funerals and we all think that is the norm? I always say that it might not be your child that is talking about suicide — but it might be their best friend. What will you child do? How will this affect their life if they do not know what to do to help their friend. Talk to your kids about feelings of suicide. (Kim Beverly)
In November 2015, Ellie Leikin, a 16-year old student at Severna Park High School, committed suicide. Her death was a complete shock to her parents, friends, and the community. According to her parents, Larry and Sherry Leikin, there were no outward signs of her battle with mental illness. It was only after her death that her parents discovered her struggle by reading journal entries, which revealed “a 10-day journey leading up to her death.” According to a recent Buzzfeed interview:
She wrote a lot about how she wanted to hide her depression from her friends and boyfriend. The couple were shocked by the level of despair they read in their daughter’s writing: She knew she could ask them for help but she was making a choice not to.
Ellie was a bubbly, artistic, honors student. Before her death, she had received a classic “VW “hippie” bus as a reward for making National Honor Society. The bus, nicknamed, The Mystery Machine in homage to Scooby Doo, has become the focal point for Ellie’s Bus, the volunteer organization started by her parents, shortly after they lost Ellie.
We had to do something. In the early days, it’s more about yourself, finding an outlet, some meaning.
However, it soon morphed into something much bigger. The orange bus is a very ‘approachable’ symbol for teens and young adults. Ellie’s bus will be present at the upcoming UM BWMC’s 2nd Annual Color Your Heart 5K Fun Run at Kinder Park Farm, and at a series of concerts this summer at Merriweather Post Pavillion. Larry, who describes he and Sherry as, “very into music”, feels that the bus is a natural extension of the message, a place for people to get information about help if they need it. Their Facebook page is full of links to services, and messages of hope and empowerment. According to Leikin:
We want to take the stigma out of mental illness … If you had cancer, you would seek treatment. There’s no difference between mental health and physical health.
Suicide is the second leading cause of death for ages 10–24 (2013 CDC WISQARS). To the people living these numbers, the grief, and questioning never ends. These parents have made it their mission to prevent others from having to walk the road they have traveled on.
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If you need help or you are worried about someone in your life, you can always contact The National Suicide Prevention Lifeline for help.
