Why the Growing Pains dude needs to grow up. Now.
Kirk Cameron, former star of Growing Pains and — um, what else, if anything? — recently told The Christian Post that “Wives are to honor and respect and follow their husband’s lead, not to tell their husband how he ought to be a better husband. When each person gets their part right, regardless of how their spouse is treating them, there is hope for real change in their marriage.”
In the same interview, he said that people should not have loud arguments in front of children. Well Mike Seaver, get Carol and Ben the hell out of the room, because it’s about to get nasty up in here.
Now Kirk, you say that — regardless of the way that a wife is being treated — she should never contradict or criticize her husband? What, pray tell, if her husband is beating, raping, or verbally assaulting her? Because let me tell you something, more than one man has used his Bible as a literal chapter and verse excuse to abuse his wife.
Once I worked with a domestic violence survivor who suffered torturous abuse at the hands of her husband. A frequent sufferer of abdominal pain, this young lady said that her abuser made it a point to kick her in the stomach — where he knew it would hurt her the worst.
“I can’t speak against him, he’s my husband,” she said, “And I can’t get a divorce, because I’ll go to hell.”
Finally she realized that, as an abused wife, she already lived in the bowels of hell.
Eventually she left her abuser and married another woman.
Did that story make you uncomfortable, Cameron? Because from what I understand, you intolerance for others and for science are pretty well known. You continually misrepresent biology and evolution and the scientists working hard in those fields, you spoke out against gay marriage as well. You also said that you wouldn’t even give a teen-aged rape or incest victim the right to choose an abortion. Seriously? How can you reconcile the supposedly Christian concepts of love and compassion with both intellectual dishonesty and, frankly, heinous viewpoints?
Now some folks might argue that, as a male Christian, Cameron was raised with these views and is predestined to accept them. The fact is, though, that I’ve worked with a number of male rape crisis workers, choice advocates and equality activists. During my college years, it was a Christian male, a young man named Josh Durst, who headed up our campus pro-choice group and also was an active member of our collegiate feminist organization.
I’ve also worked with many church leaders and groups who fully support the concept of marital equality. Similarly, these leaders have hosted fundraisers that benefit abuse victims. Today, the Christian Coalition Against Domestic Violence offers help and resources to those who need it.
I am not saying that Kirk Cameron would not support or participate in these events, or that he is a proponent of domestic abuse. Yet by supporting the concept of absolute marital submissiveness, he is reinforcing the mind set that inspires and excuses these acts. The moment that you silence a woman, you take away her power, her control, and, eventually, possibly her very life.
Now Cameron’s sister, Candace Cameron Bure, has a slightly different view of marital submissiveness.
Oh come on Candace, unbridle that strength once in a while; it’s fun. While you’re at it, tell your brother to stick it.
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If you’re worried about a man or woman in your life who might be enduring domestic abuse from a partner, then here are the warning signs. If you need help, do feel free to contact the National Domestic Violence Hotline.
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