X-Files: Scully’s Journey (season one-part one)
Meet Scully. Meet Mulder. Meet rainy Vancouver… I mean, D.C. Fandom? Meet the first TV mythology that required note-taking and a glossary for acronyms. I (threatened?) promised last week I’d be recappng my X-files rewatch experience and here I am. Will it hold up? Will I ship as hard as I did all those years ago? Let’s find out…
In a nutshell…
In the pilot, we first meet a young, almost impossibly fresh-faced Agent and Doctor Dana Scully (the amazing Gillian Anderson!) and the not-so-fresh-faced Smoking Man (William B. Davis, who was only supposed to be a shady looking extra) as Section Chief Blevins assigns her to “the X-files” to keep Agent Fox “Spooky” Mulder’s work honest. He’s a once brilliant profiler, now obsessed with dusting off unsolved, possibly paranormal mysteries, see. “Am I to understand that you want me to debunk the X Files project, sir?” Scully surmises. Yeah, pretty much. Then we and Scully meet Mulder…
It’s magical, but they barely get to consider making out like teenagers before they’re whisked off to deal with a bunch of post-teens in Oregon with a bad case of the nasal probes and unidentified puncture wounds. They press on the local authorities, lose time, examine monkey-like corpses (Scully with scientific detachment, Mulder with tourist-level enthusiasm), laugh maniacally in rain-soaked graveyards, and gather the evidence only to watch it burn in a fire.
Well, Scully does save one mysterious nasal insert, but The Smoking Man locks it away in The Pentagon. We also start a series-long gag with the flavor of that Warner Brother’s dancing frog where Mulder sees all the paranormal porn he wants and Scully juuuussst misses it.
They also bond one rainy night and we learn Mulder’s obsession with all things from outer space started with his sister’s strange disappearance that he believes was an abduction and that he doesn’t completely trust Scully. He thinks she’s part of the conspiracy to block his access to all the answers. She’s not, but there’s totally a conspiracy.
so bond. such cute. wow.
Also this happens…
Where was I? Oh, yeah. There’s a conspiracy and we delve into that more in the next episode, where we meet the theme music (!!!!).
Mulder meets Deep Throat (title drop!), who tries to warn him away from an investigation. Mulder ignores that warning and the fact that his phone is tapped while he and Scully go check out pilots at Ellens Air Field, who are having nervous breakdowns and sent home to their families with swiss-cheese memories. They may or may not be cracking due to experiments with alien craft technology. Scully believes there’s something fishy, but the idea of UFOs being involved in any way is too much for her.
They interview stoners (Hi, Seth Green!), see strange lights, get chased off by shady, secretive, MIB types. It’s the start of a sequence of events we’ll see again and again, including Mulder rushing off to investigate alone. He gets his memory of what he saw swiss-cheesed and Scully has to pretty much hold a secret operative man at gunpoint to rescue him like a lost puppy (get used to it, Scully). Back home in D.C., Deep Throat gives Mulder the old “told ya so” and tells him that aliens are among us and have been for some time. We’ll be seeing more of that guy.
Then we meet our first MOTW: creepy Eugene Victor Tooms, played by Doug Hutchison before he became creepy for entirely different reasons.
He’s a semi-immortal serial killer who renews his lease on life every thirty years by chowing down on human liver (Ick! Mostly because… liver). He has the ability to squeeze (title drop!) himself through tight spaces in order to murder his victims and get his tasty treats. When a former colleague, let’s call him Agent Douche, brings Scully in on the case, she starts to get the hint that she’s losing the respect of other agents by aligning herself with Mulder (they call her Mrs. Spooky now).
Mulder, of course, figures out all the supernatural aspects with Scully tying down the logical, scientific end. Together, they show up the others on the case and catch the bad guy.
With the help of the first of many research porn montages on this show.
I mean, Tooms does try to make lunch out of Scully’s liver, but Mulder and Scully take him down and become closer due to their joint rebel status. Also, this happens…
I mean, I’m aware it’s just to draw attention to Scully’s not-the-cross necklace for plotty reasons, but it’s definitely the start of all the excessive touching and gazing that will be squealed over like a damn love scene in seasons to come if you’re anything like me.
By the way, this is the start of another long running X-files ship I support with all my heart: Mulder/Scully/Flashlights!
Tis a fine ship that will sail again!
Back to mythology, Mulder gets personally invested in a case of a possibly abducted sister and Blevins puts more pressure on Scully to keep Mulder down to earth. She does try, but he can’t be dissuaded from investigating and, even if she doesn’t believe his abduction theories, she does feel for his instincts to invest in the case. And even she sees there’s more to it, especially when the little brother involved can get binary code matching defense satellite transmissions out of TV static. Mulder’s trust in Scully hiccups when she turns the code into the NSA, thinking the boy got it from some sort of leak. They ransack the poor kid’s room and take him and his mother away.
The theories from locals on the missing girl range from punk teen runaway to pregnant punk teen runaway with her boyfriend, also missing, to Kevin being a conduit (title drop!) to whoever or whatever took his sister. Well, that one’s just Mulder. But he and Scully do investigate the site she disappeared from and find a burnt tree line and sand turned to glass, the roof of the family’s camper blistered — all “evidence of extreme heat.” They encounter some white wolves and Mulder (of course!) follows them…
…to find a grave in the woods containing that missing boyfriend. There’s murder and intrigue involving Abducted Girl’s friend being impregnated by her boyfriend and murdering him. There’s the first instance of Mulder and Scully playing good cop/bad cop to drag the confession out of the girl. It’s all incidental as Mulder’s mostly interested in Abducted Girl, something Scully thinks is him projecting the loss of his sister — this is our first time learning about Samantha, BTW.
They track the mother and son back to the disappearance site and Mulder starts to believe the kid’s not a conduit, but just someone desperate to think he can find his sister like he was, but Scully finds Abducted Girl in the woods, all naked and barely alive — and with chemical imbalances that could result from the prolonged weightlessness that shuttle astronauts experience. Whatever Abducted Girl experienced, she’s not talking. Some mysterious “they” told her not to and her mother doesn’t want her to speak up and be ridiculed, either. So it’s a dead-end for our dynamic duo and Mulder is particularly frustrated. The episode ends with Scully listening to tapes of Mulder’s regression hypnosis and Mulder staring at a picture of his sister and crying in a church and we first hear, through Mulder’s taped session, the iconic “I want to believe.”
Also, Mulder is especially flirty in this one.
Then we have another MOTW, a cannibalistic killer that Mulder thinks is The Jersey Devil (title drop!), an “east coast bigfoot” or maybe Eegah with a better budget. The local authorities kick them off the case, so Scully goes home for her godson’s birthday party, where we meet another one of the show’s long-standing ships: Scully/kids. Scully meets a divorced dad and makes a date, wanting to have a life, unlike Mulder. Mulder stays in Jersey to keep digging, pal around with park rangers and homeless guys, sleep in alleyways, and get arrested. What are we gonna do with this guy, Scully? Go back to Jersey and bail him out and get him breakfast, I guess.
She also brings him to her former professor of anthropology to try to debunk his cannibal creature theory. He just digs in harder. Meanwhile, Scully goes on her date and seems to have an… okay time.
I mean, it can’t have been that great, since she runs right off when Mulder calls her with more news on the beastie. There was a male corpse found, but it disappears mysteriously. Mulder decides they’re looking for its mate. Even with the agents, a ranger, a professor and a SWAT team all hunt for the she-beast in an abandoned building, Mulder still manages to run off on his own and get attacked by the she-beast.
Our duo take the ranger and professor in an effort to tranq her and take her alive, so Mulder is totally not cool about the local authorities straight-up killing her, especially since he’s pretty sure she was just protecting her young. Yeah, there’s a wild-child out there with matty hair and a possible inherited taste for human flesh.
Don’t be fooled by that “The End?” ending. We won’t be meeting him/her again. The point is that Mulder has demonstrated by now that he has no life or even the desire for one outside his work and Scully says no to another date with Divorced Dad to join him in lifelessness. Possibly because she’s sure he’ll definitely get himself killed without her.
Also, there is more excessive touching.
Speaking of corpses, Mulder and Scully investigate some, still twitching with electro-magnetic energy, for some other agents from some mysteriously unnamed department who call them in for their experience with the weird and unexplained. Mulder pretends not to know how these corpses were strangled internally to the other agents, but posits psychokinesis to Scully. BTW, these corpses died during an attempt to rob that homewrecker who tried to sleep with Angela’s Dad on My So-Called Life (we’ll never know for sure if she would have succeeded, sadly).
Homewrecker has this thing where anyone who threatens or seems to threaten her gets roughed up by invisible hands. Mulder and Scully find her through ATM camera footage and she claims she ran away and knows nothing else about those twitchy corpses. Our duo leave only to be nearly killed by something Christine-ing the bejesus out of their rental car. It also has some electro-twitchy-whatevers going on. Mulder thinks Homewrecker is a Carrie type or she has a pet poltergeist.
Mulder is also especially pretty and flirty in this episode. And don’t they look adorable in peephole vision?
Considering Homewrecker worked for the Defense Department and the men who mugged her had ties to terrorists, Scully goes for the more earth-bound explanation. Well, they’re both right. Homewrecker’s former boss did see too many shady things and was killed for it and now he’s protecting her from his successor. She calls Mulder and Scully in for extra protection, but a hitman and hitwoman (Hey, X-files! Way to go for early-on, equal-opportunity employment among your low-level thugs) show up first to murder Homewrecker and her former boss/pet poltergiest gets strangly.
Of course, Mulder gets to see the hitman being strangled with his feet a foot or so off the floor and Scully comes in juuuuust when he hits the floor (Oh, the dancing frog of it all!). Scully pretends to believe Homewrecker when she claims his ghost is kind of violently watching over her to help Homewrecker help them solve this. No evidence is found when they search the offices, but Pet Poltergiest does come through… with Scully outside the room.
He makes papers fly and cuts into a wall to reveal a disk. Bad guys caught, Mulder and Scully plan to go to see The Liberty Bell.
Whether they get there or not, we never see it (I’m just going to assume there was blatant sexy banter from Mulder that involved Scully’s bells and the ringing of them). The next week they meet an old colleague of Mulder’s. Let’s call him Agent McStealy for obvious reasons. He begs Mulder to (do all the work) help him on a case of electrocution by computer (probably my future cause of death, given how I overwork mine) in a tech company where everything runs by computer.
Well, I kinda do, despite how this ends up.
They question everyone there, starting with a tech guy who tells them only a few people could access the system, including the disgruntled creator,played by Rob Labelle AKA Doctor Walden from Smallville and from this treasured moment:
He’s the likely suspect, but this is X-files so… Anyway, Agent McStealy gets Mulder’s profile and presents it as his own, then later whine-pologizes. Scully does science to things and it looks like Doctor Walden is the culprit, but the system is going all Hal 2.0 on him as they speak. When Agent McStealy comes to arrest him, Walden tries to override it killing him with an elevator drop, but the system is all “Just what do you think you’re doing, Dave?” Alas, poor Agent McStealy!
Mulder sadly reviews the security footage and is convinced Doctor Walden is innocent, even when Scully informs him he confessed. He wants to investigate further, but is kicked off by some shady agents from some unnamed branch. Let’s just call it the Department of Mysteries. He pouts to his new pal, Deep Throat, who tells him “blah, blah, stay-out-of-it, danger, blah.” Just get used to it.
The Department of Mysteries wants that system. Mulder gets in to see Doctor Walden and they conspire to destroy Hal 2.0 with a virus. Scully’s not on board with the ghost in the machine (title drop!) theory… until it hacks her phone and computer before her very eyes with Walden still in jail. See? Scully can believe things! Well, science-y things.
She and Mulder vow to slay the beast… or the building that keeps attacking them. Poor Scully has to crawl through the air vents, which are always so clean on TV. Meanwhile, I turn my central air on and get a face full of dust, debris, and cat dander. I don’t even want to shine a flashlight in there, but Scully does, then gets sucked toward a fan, which eats her flashlight (Nooooo! Flashlights are the source of their power!). She shoots that fan dead in revenge. This is unbeknownst to Mulder somewhere below. He gets waylaid by that tech guy we met for three seconds at the start and runs off with him. I mean, they figure out how to override the system and implement the virus, but it’s still Mulder running off.
But there are double dealings afoot. Tech Guy works for the Department of Mysteries (!!!) and they want that system intact. He pulls a gun on Mulder, but Scully shows up (Mulder runs off, cue Scully rescuing him, rinse, repeat. We could arguably recap most episodes with just that).
Scully didn’t use up all her bullets avenging that flashlight (she called it “Flashy” and it was her favorite one!). The Department of Mysteries agent tries to sway her be a team player, but she keeps that gun on him and instructs Mulder to destroy Hal 2.0 but good. He’s all “What are you doing, Brad? Whhyyyyy?” and I giggle madly. Mulder and Deep Throat talk out the aftermath (shady government is shady, Walden will be jailed forever unless he cooperates) and then we get one of those “THE END?” endings that must be like crack to Chris Carter. He cannot stay away from them, even with MOTWs we’ll never see again.
Our duo’s next jaunt takes them to Alaska in an episode reminiscent of John Carpenter’s The Thing, investigating a bunch of scientists who murder-suicided each other… and themselves, I guess. Anyway, our duo is travelling with a toxicologist played by Felicity Huffman (Hi, Lynette Scavo!), doctor Christopher Crawford from Mommie Dearest, that creepy Magic Dealer from Buffy as their pilot (I just love seeing all these HITG faces), and a quirky geologist (Steve Hytner, who specializes in quirky).
Meanwhile, Mulder specializes in touchy.
So there’s this ancient frozen parasite in the ice (title drop!) they were studying that gets in your system, makes itself at home on the base of your neck, infects your brain, and drives you into a fit of sneakiness, then a murderous frenzy. And if it’s removed, you die!!! Well, that magic dealer pilot gets it from an infected dog and goes nutso. Of course, it’s up to the tiniest person there to tackle him.
Is it any wonder we love Scully?
They try to cut it out of him, then find out about that dying bit and are trapped there with no way out in the storm. So our duo pass time arguing about whether the creature should be studied and preserved (Mulder’s sure it’s alien!) or destroyed (I’m with Scully on this one) and the men and women separate to check each other for the mark of the worm (first sight of Mulder’s delightfully hairy chest), but it tends to disappear, so anyone could be the one. When poor Hytner is found sliced ear to ear, everyone thinks it’s Mulder… even Scully! They pull guns on each other and everything!
Mulder is locked up while Scully, Lynette and Doctor Christopher Crawford discover putting a parasite in a sample with another parasite makes them kill each other. They try it on the dog first and he survives…
… so they decide to put it in Mulder. But Scully wants to make sure he’s definitely infected first.
He lets her examine him (sadly, not naked) and then he examines her right back, then they make out all over each other’s faces in a fit of relief. Well, not really, but they easily could have.
Lynette and Doctor Christopher Crawford do have an entire conversation conspiring to worm Mulder, no matter what Scully says, before our duo emerge from that locked room and pronounce he’s clean. The other two jump Mulder and Lynette almost gets it in his ear (Ew! Ew! Ew!) before the doc sees the parasite squirming at the base of her neck. She goes on a screamy rampage and gets a gun before she’s tackled down and forced to receive the parasite in her ear. The show takes pity on me and doesn’t show that part.
Later, with everyone back to civilization and Lynette safely quarantined, Mulder wants to go back and get some worms to study, but the doc informs them some government organization (The Department of Mysteries, perhaps) has torched the place. Scully’s okay with that.
Next, our duo are approached by a NASA communications commander played by Susanna Thompson (Hi, Moira Queen from Arrow!) to investigate some punk sabotaging shuttle launches, something she’s directly stressing about with her fiancee on the next mission to space (title drop!). They get a trip to Houston and Mulder geeks the hell out over an astronaut hero of his, Colonel Belt (Ed Lauter, a definite HITG. RIP, Ed). Belt’s got flashback issues with strange space ghost (I suspect The TV personality) faces flying at him after a mission to Mars, but he doesn’t tell our duo that. He does let them watch the shuttle launch, which completes this time, but they lose communication with shuttle in orbit and that space ghost goes after Moira Queen while she’s driving back to fix it.
Our duo was following her car and they pull her out of the wreck and she’s a real trooper and insists on working even with her bleeding head. Space, science, atmosphere, systems, activate, uplink — I won’t pretend to know what’s going on with this next bit, but those are words that were thrown around. Moira Queen suspects more sabotage. They cut off communication, apparently, and see if the guys can fix the whatever-the-hell manually. It works and Belt breaks Mulder’s fanboy heart by lying to the press about there having been problems to prevent their work being shut down. Belt goes home and has another Space Ghost vision…
Dramatic reenactment.
…before it flies out of his body and goes after that shuttle, causing an oxygen leak. With our duo still hanging at mission control, they track down Belt who tells the boys to complete their mission instead of heading back to safety. Moira Queen is pissed. Mulder tries to keep his fanboying alive, but Scully thinks Belt’s the sabateur. There is a small research porn montage before we find she’s right. He was even part of the Challenger disaster. They find Belt in the fetal position and Mulder pulls some mild hypnosis and Belt calms down enough to finish his flashback (he’s been possessed by Space Ghost this entire time!) and to tell them to change the trajectory. That’s just what I was thinking! Not really. I am too dumb for this episode.
Anyway, the guys are fine. Belt, not so much. He and Space Ghost fight in his hospital room before he throws himself out the window, flashing back all the way down. Mulder and Scully talk out the aftermath. Mulder is positive it was a space ghost and Scully is pretty sure it was dementia. Of course! Mulder thinks Belt sabotaged his own sabotage by alerting Moira Queen to his sabo… tagery. I don’t know. Mulder still thinks he’s a hero.
And we’ve got more space-happenings when Deep Throat tips Mulder off to an aircraft crash in Wisconsin that might not be of this earth.
Might not, definitely isn’t. Same diff.
Mulder (of course!) runs off all by his lonesome to get some pics before they clean it up. He gets himself captured alongside fellow UFO nut Max Fenig. Poor Scully has to drag herself away from her bubble-bathing and report-writing (I’m just going to assume those are her main hobbies since it’s all we’ve seen her do at home up to now) to save his ass.
She chews him out and informs him the higher-ups are holding a hearing the next day to shut them down and kick him out of the bureau. He just thinks that means he’s close to the truuuuuuth, but she thinks it means they’re sick of him messing around. Scully is highly annoyed that Mulder isn’t flying right back for the hearing, but she takes him back to his motel room to find it all torn up and that UFO nut halfway out the window. He says he’s a fan of Mulder (nice way of showing it?). He’s a fan of “the enigmatic Agent Scully,” too.
He lets them into his tinhat trailer where he shows them police and fire radio transmissions from the crash site. Our duo interview that poor deputy above’s widow/now single mother, who’s scared to talk because those Department of Mysteries jerks are threatening to withhold her husband’s pension. Some firemen also bit it and a doctor tells Mulder and Scully it was from severe burns the likes of which he’d never seen. A bunch of soldiers arrive, also burned up, probably by that invisible alien that’s running around. Scully really wants to get back for that hearing, but she stays and helps the overworked doctor out because she’s awesome!
Mulder goes to check in with Max, who’s right in the middle of a pretty violent seizure. Between that, a strange scar behind his ear, and his habit of waking up in strange places, Mulder believes Max is an abductee. Scully thinks more along the lines of delusional schizophrenic, having seen his meds. But Mulder thinks Max doesn’t realize that he was abducted and that Max’s abduction is where his interest and tendency to be drawn to crash sites comes from. He convinces her to stay just a little longer and check out Max’s scar.
He’s pretty convincing when he gives that look.
Before she gets to Max, that invisible alien gets to him — not that our duo gets to see, but they do hear his radio broadcasting a search for Max. Mulder and Scully join in, in their unauthorized way, and find some burned soldiers in Max’s wake before they find Max in a warehouse, muttering and panicking as the military surrounds it. Scully gets brought to the jerk in charge while Mulder tries to calm Max down. The alien hurts Mulder’s leg, but he gets up to find Max suspended in a pillar of blue light before he disappears in a bright flash. Mulder is arrested again.
“Good Luck.” “I’ll break a leg.”
Back in D.C., the hearing is on. A calm and collected Scully is grilled, then Mulder is reamed. He’s also pissed, since they’re putting out lies that it was just a toxic spill, something even Scully side-eyes, and that Max’s body was found in a cargo container. Mulder gives them a speech about how “no government agency has jurisdiction over the truth.” They want to shut down the X-files and fire Mulder, but it turns out Deep Throat is the deciding “no” vote (gasp!). Mulder’s insubordination is less dangerous than him teaming up with “the wrong people” (OMG, I can’t wait for the lone gunmen!). “Always keep your friends close…”
I think that’s a good place to break it off before the back half.
Scully’s Journey…
It’s really impossible to separate Scully’s arc from Mulder’s, considering how little time they spend apart. Scully respects Mulder’s work ethic, but thinks his ideas are insane. Mulder respects Scully’s insight and intelligence, but thinks she’s too closed-minded to see the possibilities. The fact that she’s taking orders from Blevins could have been a problematic plot point the series could have milked for drama (Can we trust that enigmatic Agent Scully?), but they didn’t take that route. In fact, she tries to make Mulder look his best, an uphill task, considering his snark-abundance. They presented her as consistently ethical and trustworthy, already a paragon in half a season. She’s also kind of a people-pleaser, trying to keep all parties in order.
Her decision to give up that second date with Divorced Dad is an interesting character moment. She might still think Mulder is a little obsessive and insane, but she’s up for seeing where that leads. In one way, I feel a bit sad for Scully at this juncture. Not that I think Divorced Dad was the key to love and happiness, but she has, consciously or unconsciously, put the idea of life outside of work on hold and its not a balanced approach. Then this other selfish part of me is all “Yes! Descend into zee madness and unresolved sexual tension of life with Mulder!”
Incidentally, I’ve decided not to measure this series with the Bechdel test. Scully is definitely deep in a boys club here and it will invariably fail every season with only a handful of episodes where Scully speaks to other women. I will say that, despite the lack of ladies, this show is very respectful of the ones they do present. Scully’s underwear moment was straightforward and plot related. The camera didn’t linger and leer and neither did Mulder. The other women we get are mostly interesting characters in their own right. So I’ve decided to replace the Bechdel test with a simple best/worst.
The best so far is obviously Michelle Generoo (or Moira Queen, if you prefer). She’s in an upside down car, bleeding out of her head, and she gets right back to work. Even when she’s worried about her fiancee, she keeps her head in the work space. While I don’t agree with her decision to lie to the press about the launch disaster, I understand where it comes from. It wasn’t my favorite episode, but I liked her moxie.
The worst has to be Nurse “What’s she doing now?” from the pilot, directing all her talk to Mulder, calling those poor comatose kids “produce,” calling Scully “she.” Madam, that is Dr. Dana Scully you are sneering at. You just shut your punk mouth if you’re not going to address her directly!
Hair Check-in…
I think the entire world agrees (I don’t have data, just a gut feeling) that Scully’s hair in season one wasn’t her best. It wasn’t sure if it wanted to be curly or straight, bangs or none, up or down. Much like Scully herself, her hair was on a journey to find itself. Let’s enjoy that journey, shall we?
Ship Check in…
Mulder’s very obviously already half in love and no one can tell me different — that flirt — always standing too close and finding excuses to touch her! But Scully isn’t there at all, sort of rolling her eyes at his flirting, taken aback and even annoyed by his intensity at times. Scully did say to at least one person that Mulder was cute, but she also said he was a jerk. Then she quickly took it back. Then she explained that jerkiness as just her annoyance at him being obsessed with his work to the detriment of his personal life. Then she followed him in that example. Listen, Scully is confused. But I don’t think Mulder is. He’s crazy about her in season one and I’ll fight anyone who says differently with gif evidence:
Other Notes
Ice’s similarity to The Thing is not just incidental. That episode shared a set designer with the film in Graeme Murray, as did about 66 other episodes, some that are downright classics.
The music definitely got better after the pilot, where it had this weird, super 90s detective show vibe. Mark Snow improved by leaps as he went. Even from episode two, things seemed less jangly and intrusive, less dated altogether.
Then there’s the X-Files atmosphere. The rain and fog and cloudy skies of Vancouver definitely add a layer of eeriness. I was pretty bummed out when they moved production to Los Angeles in season 6. It always looked entirely too sunny for monsters.
Above, I forgot one of the other torrid ships this show gave us: Mulder/sunflower seeds. Duchovny wasn’t a fan, but I bet he had to crack through a ton of them regardless. Ugh. I sympathize. I did this commercial once where we were supposed to be eating popcorn, but they gave us this puffed rice stuff instead because it looked better on camera. I had a good pound of those air-favored cotton balls in me by the end. Ick.
Hi, Seth Green (“Deep Throat”)! It’s so nice to see you back when you were just that kid from It and Can’t Buy Me Love. You are about to become such a BFD and grown-up me really appreciates your body of work (Well, Family Guy notwithstanding. Sorry. Not my humor).
You just make me sad, Doug Hutchison. Let’s face it, looking at “Squeeze” and “Tooms” objectively, they aren’t super awesome storylines because immortal liver-eater doesn’t easily sell itself, but your performance added that creep factor and, heck, you did the same in Green Mile. You had the kind of blank-eyed creepiness I once enjoyed, but I find no joy in your creepiness any longer. I wish I could wipe it from my mind, that you married a teenager and turned her into a porno barbie nightmare, but I can’t and it will color all subsequent viewings of your work, you sick, sad, disgusting man.
Witness the horribly depressing transformation.
Next up: X-Files Season One (part two)
All images from The X-Files are property of 20th Century Fox Television and Ten-Thirteen Productions… and thanks to the efforts of tireless gif-makers all over this fine internet.
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