The Question isn’t ‘Were they on a Break?’ it’s…
Not many shows have stood strong within the test of time. But, ‘Friends’, of course has done it; not only surviving but thriving and with ‘The One with the Reunion’ coming out soon and being a Gen Zer myself, I had to join in on the 20+year-long debate.
First, well many, when trying to get a view on the topics ask (in my opinion, as you’ll see, incorrectly) ‘Were they on a break?’ A response of ‘yes’ indicates you side with Ross, and ‘no’ with Rachel. But, I think that that particular question is simple to answer. I mean, Rachel herself suggested the break in the first place. So, for her to have what seems to be a memory lapse, and deny that fact throughout the remainder of the series, well…
Rather, the question should be, “Was Ross in the wrong, regarding his actions that night, and the following morning? Or was what he did absolutely fine?”
Well, the thing that brought on the break was Ross constantly trying to spend more time with his girlfriend, as she often had to replace time with him with work stuff. But, on the other hand, he crossed the line when it came to the lengths to achieve it. I mean, would anyone be pleased with their partner invading your job life, especially when you’re trying hard to separate it from you personal life?
Now, all relationships, whether familial, platonic, or romantic, face trials. And if you love that person that much, and them you, well you’re gonna try and work the situation out. And Rachel certainly does this, spending time to think and talk to someone, Mark (more on that later), before landing upon the fact that she doesn’t want her relationship with Ross to end, and that they can communicate with each other to solve the issue, after having slept on it, the next morning. Further acknowledgement to the fact that she did call for a break is shown when we find she’s left a message for Ross, asking to “get back together”.
Right, now Mark. So, Ross definitely could’ve trusted Rachel more. I mean, trust is the foundation for every good, strong relationship, which maybe means Roschel was quite a toxic relationship, not just form this trust issue though. But I mean, Rachel went into the relationship, informed, knowing that Ross may have a hard time with trust, after Carol, giving him the benefit of the doubt for intentional paranoia. Before he found out Mark was there that night, he’d refused to even dance with the Xerox machine girl, then after the call, become hopeless.
And now, saving love. If Ross had loved Rachel that much, as he claimed to, instead of drinking etc… his emotions away, he could have followed suit, and reflected, talked, and eventually solved his dilemma with Rachel. Obviously, that didn’t happen. But you could argue that he was hopeless and emotionally unstable. But then you could say that any wisdom in him would’ve meant he hadn’t gone out in the first place and stayed away from any temptations, logically thinking things through. I mean, this was someone he’d allegedly loved since high school.
Lastly, after Ross did what he did, he should’ve just been honest. Now, I’m aware he intended to notify Rachel and that Joey and Chandler told him not to, but seriously Joey & Chandler in this situation? Sure Joey’s great for pickup lines, first date tips and generally lighter circumstances, but in this one? Absolutely not. And ok, it did seem like good thinking with ‘the chain’, but Joey isn’t a committed-relationship type of guy, obviously. And so, you’re not gonna go and ask someone what lemonade tastes like if they’ve not had it themselves. And Chandler, well he himself admits that he doesn’t give great relationship, and should just stick to sardonic jokes, plus he is hopeless when it comes to relationships (double-whammy). Could it have been worse?
Ultimately, I believe it all falls down to lack of communication, a weak relationship foundation and further made unstable from lack of trust and honesty. If that had all been sorted, they’d have had a relationship far longer and stronger than Chandler and Monica’s; the blame falls fully neither to Ross or Rachel, but if we’re playing the scales games, then it is Ross to blame.
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Thank you so much for reading this post, and I hope you enjoyed it.
