“You are never going to be ready. You just have to go and do it.”
LL.Stories Presents:
The Grit and Wit of Doreen Lorinczi
Business Analyst, Third Degree Black Belt, Undiscovered Comedian, 46 years old.
“Just do it. Whatever it is. Don’t make excuses, instead spend your energy on figuring how to do it and not why you can’t do it.”
Doreen Lorinczi is scrappy. She is also brilliant and captivating; her aquamarine eyes are framed by golden blonde hair and her shapely legs stride along confidently in stilettos. It is a winning, head turning, combination. This California girl can rock a bikini at 46 years of age, but she’s worked hard for all of it. Spend any time with her and it is her open, quick wit that will melt your heart. Even when talking about painful moments in her past, Doreen has humor and grace.
Doreen had a rough start on life, born in San Jose to a mother ill equipped to stand up for herself, and to an abusive father addicted to pain medication. “My Mom’s job was to find money to support my Dad’s addiction, or be beaten.” When Doreen and her brother were showing signs of neglect, her Godparents decided to step in and get custody, but were unsuccessful. Shortly after, her father committed suicide. “I had way too many things go wrong in my life before I was four.”, she admits. A sweet soul can be too easily taken advantage of, and Doreen’s mother needed someone to support her. The family moved to Santa Rosa to be closer to Doreen’s grandparents so they could keep an eye on her.
Doreen moved to Sonoma County but even California’s bucolic wine country has a wrong side of the tracks and that was where circumstance landed her. Going to elementary and middle school in Santa Rosa’s poorest school district, Doreen got picked on a lot. “I was painfully shy and little, so I was terrified to be alone.” Modeling after her mother, she thought she needed a man to take care of her, which landed her in an abusive relationship. In her early twenties, she wised up and walked away from that relationship, determined never to be a victim again. She has been in a loving, supportive relationship for 23 years.
Doreen is stand-up comedian funny. Her humor is dry, quick and constant. But she didn’t always have the courage to speak up, “I was shy all through high school; my best friend was the outgoing pretty one. When I go to highschool reunions no one remembers me, but they always remember Michelle.” Michelle was Doreen’s first inspiration, pushing her into new experiences, and to speak up and be her own person. Doreen would whisper her one liners to Michelle who would repeat them out loud. Everyone would laugh and tell Michelle how funny she was. One day Doreen said, “Michelle, you are using all my jokes.” Michelle’s response?, “You could say them.” The two women, despite living on separate coasts, are still close friends.
It is a very powerful thing when women support women. Wary of strangers since her childhood, Doreen was struggling in retail. While she had found her voice with friends she didn’t know how to approach strangers let alone try to sell them anything. Things were getting desperate and Doreen hadn’t made a sell but, instead of getting fired, her manager took her under her wing and taught her to sell by ‘team selling’. It was the push she needed and her personality took off after that. “I’m thankful that she didn’t give up on me. She showed me how to relate to strangers.”
Once she had taken control of her life and found her strength and independence she was unstoppable in her desire to excel. “I always wanted more responsibility when I was at the bank. When I was a Teller, I wanted to be in New Accounts, When I was in New Accounts I wanted to be a Lender, when I was a Lender I wanted to be a Commercial Lender, when I was a Commercial Lender I wanted to have a Portfolio.” Drive, however, was not enough. To move her way up the corporate ladder she was going to need to go back to school.
“I was going to school full time and working full time and sleeping a little and crying a lot.” She went to the JC and USF concurrently to finish her degree in record time. One of the electives that she took during this time was horseback riding. “My pivotal life changing moment came to me in the barn at Cloverleaf Ranch after mucking stalls and riding horses.” Doreen asked her instructor whether she preferred teaching kids or adults. “Kids, hands down. If you tell a kid to get on the horse and make it lope, the kid will get on the horse and make it lope. If you tell an adult to get on the horse and make it lope, the adult will get on the horse and tell you every reason why the horse won’t lope. Kids will just do it.” From that point on Doreen decided that she was just going to do it, whatever it was that she didn’t think she could do. She wouldn’t make excuses, she would just keep motivating towards the task and goal at hand. She could take care of herself.
Did I mention that Doreen was scrappy? Seven and half years ago Doreen took up Taekwondo. She is now a 3rd degree black belt, out ranking her husband who started the day before she did. He came home one night having finished his first class, wearing a uniform and carrying a gear bag. Doreen exclaimed, “I want a uniform and a gear bag!” She signed up the next day and never looked back. “I did all of my testing exactly on schedule.” It didn’t matter if she ‘felt’ ready or not, she had learned from her horseback riding class to just make it happen. Her and her husband moved through the ranks together in the beginning, but when the testing for their brown belt was at hand he didn’t feel ready. Doreen joked “Sorry, going to miss ya.” and forged ahead. The truth in life is, “You are never going to be ready, you just have to go and do it.”
Les Lunes Stories of Inspiring People.
Written by Tobe Sheldon, The Voice of Les Lunes. All photos were taken by Frank Roesner, The Eye of Les Lunes. If you like what you just read, please hit the green ‘recommend’ button below so that others might chance upon this tale. For more inspiring stories please follow our LL. Magazine.
Originally published at leslunes.com.
