Passing Through

I feel it in my chest,

It's empty, so empty it’s cavernous,

It’s an empty stripped bear space,

I’m not used to it feeling like this,

All my pent up emotions,

All of my angst,

All of my passionate suffering,

Isn’t there and it’s frightening,

It’s terrifying to not give a fuck,

It’s like a dead space,

A yawning dark dank unknown space,

This emptiness in my chest,

Where I can feel my heart pumping with nervousness,

My heart has been kept neighbourly attendance by wanting,

Wanting said something about me,

Wanting meant I had drive, focus and aim,

Wanting drives me to do something,

Wanting to do nothing is not how I was raised,

Wanting to play but some things seem serious,

Wanting to understand why I experience this,

Wanting the next insight,

Wanting the enlightenment,

Wanting is motivationally driven,

Wanting is pressure,

Wanting is avarice,

Wanting is uncomfortable let down,

Wanting is pain,

Wanting is something else is better,

Wanting is crushing when it doesn’t go to my plan,

Wanting is I think I know best,

Wanting says an unfulfilled space,

When do I know I’ve wanted enough,

When do I know wanting isn’t enough,

Why does wanting seem to say I’m not enough,

Why does wanting have angst,

Why does wanting block my flow,

Why and When is wanting an answer,

To the feeling I’ve lost something that craved wanting,

Because wanting might get me somewhere,

Somewhere other than here,

Other than being absolutely fine here,

With an empty open space that’s ripe to experience something other,

Than wanting and all that came with it,

Wanting takes me to an imagined better different outcome,

Wanting takes me away from peace,

I’d choose peace over wanting every day,

I’m just not used to it yet,

Peace seems kinder, alive and more spacious,

Than want ever did,

Peace is my everyday place,

Wanting was just passing through.