There Is No Safety to Be Found in Relationships

Angus wrote what turned out to be a somewhat controversial Instagram post a few weeks ago where he said, “Your partner cannot make you feel anything.”

And I received a question recently asking what does safety look like in relationships?

So I thought it would be helpful to make a clarification between the psychological perspective and the spiritual perspective. There is so much focus on psychotherapy in Western culture that this viewpoint has become embedded in our worldview and the dominant cultural narrative so that it becomes part of the invisible lens through which we see things. This makes it seem like the psychological perspective is true rather than a framework of knowledge that is based on assumptions. One of these assumptions is that the happiness of the individual self is of primary importance. From this foundation, improving ourselves, changing our experience, and strengthening the ego through improving self-esteem are seen as good and helpful. Working on the individual self makes sense from a psychological perspective, but things get confusing when the invitation is to look beyond the construct of the individual self. Psychology doesn’t have a framework for this.

Spirituality does. From a non-dual spiritual perspective, the invitation is to turn toward that which is universal, unchanging, and true…