RELIGION | HISTORY
The Peculiars of Plumstead
More fanatics than a Trump rally
The world is full of so many crazies right now, it’s always good to look back and realize that, yes, the world has always been full of crazies.
One such sect was the Peculiars of Plumstead who would later morph into The New Forest Shakers. They were joined by the Walworth Jumpers who loved nothing more than a sloppy kiss for a greeting. It was all-tongue and no horse-play for the Jumpers. Celibacy can only take your cult so far and when nobody’s offering virgins to deflower, people quickly lose interest.
The Peculiars were devout. They made the Puritans look like a Sunday school occupied by Satanists. They believed in every single word of the bible. The whole truth and nothing but the LITERAL truth. They forego any possessions and that prayer would heal all wounds. Naturally, they died off one by one as they grew sick with disease and pestilence.
Noticing their lack of charisma and poor marketing strategy, they invited Mary Ann to lead their devotees. Mary Ann Girling, the woman who would become Christ, was last seen fleeing angry mobs in Suffolk. Girling, a farm laborer, claimed to be the New Messiah and had visions to prove it. Sensing they had made a grave error in their recruiting process, the Peculiars…
