Evolution
Why the Marital Revolution Was the Biggest Fraud in Human History
Wasn’t it a bad bargain?
More often than not, it brought anxiety, sleepless nights, gender inequity, culture shocks, population explosion, pollution, and, worst of all, divorces.
Self-arrogant as we are, we’ve always discounted our inventions and discoveries to be beneficial. But it’s time to acknowledge that though Adam-sent, we have committed scams no other species on the face of the earth has.
And we all know, we can’t just blame it all on Apples!
For almost the first half of our existence, we pottered around the globe as hunter-gatherers. Ate, slept, foraged, and repeated.
Then, one fine outcast morning, sitting at the riverbank, the bearded Patriarch thought, why not make marriage a compulsory act for unison?
It will simplify a hack of things.
Like coming back to the same hut every evening. Managing one household, providing for one family. Moreover, having your genes in one place is a great thing. Why scatter the genetic traces when you can have it all in one place, and kickstart a brood to sing the songs of legacy?
Marriages were a win-win from every POV.
In the meantime, the Matriarch was about to discover a contraceptive jaddibutti. It wasn’t a piece of cake for her to pop out a baby frequently. However, she knew breastfeeding could help her postpone the pregnancy but wasn’t a surefire way.
Unfortunately, The Patriarch summoned her to sign and stamp the decree for making marriage compulsory.
The commanding shout from the patriarch was so loud that the Matriarch forgot all about the contraceptive. Presenting ethos, pathos, and logos in favor, the patriarch also gaslighted her for the newly minted concepts of loyalty and monogamy. Loyalty, as he said, was the best bargain of the scheme.
What could be sexier than a committed man?
She agreed! Instantly. And jumped on the bandwagon.
This is how she became an accomplice to history’s biggest romance scam.
I know I am going to get crazy backlash for this, from lovelorn pipsqueaks to the custodians of the institution. The argument is that marriage isn’t the ultimate remedy for the doomed mankind.
I am not against the institution, but you can’t tie the knot with someone only because you think you want to restack your wardrobe or are tired of monotony.
If younger-me was reading this article, she would’ve lambasted the author of such infamy and campaigned defamation against her. Probably marriages are arranged for the sake of arranging.
It has to be struck off from the to-do list right?
Oh! Now I am 25, let’s tick right against the marriage box.
Then comes the baby-making box.
Life isn’t a TO-DO list.
But the truth is, the older me is maritally experienced and hence well-acquainted with the regulatory doctrines of marriage.
In my culture, there’s proverbial wisdom; marriages are wooden laddoos. You regret if you eat and even if you don’t.
Regretting without fracturing your teeth seems legible.
Why try biting a wooden laddoo and regret the pain when you know you are going to grind your teeth to smithereens?
But the human race believes in experimenting.
We are atomically curious and don’t learn from the lessons of our fellow humans. We passionately make mistakes and write poems on how great it is to learn from thy mistakes.
We have named the process: Evolution.
Even if these mistakes cause us lifelong cognitive dissonance, we DO.
Have you heard of the cliche, “to err is human?
Humans by default keep err-ing. Alright, to err might be human, but maintaining that err like a precious solitaire shouldn’t be very human, right?
After all, we are Evolving and learning from our own mistakes! Isn’t it?
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