Nov 13, 2020
What qualities do you most value in your friends?
Questions asked and answered for my daughters
There are a lot of qualities that make good friends, and honestly, the qualities that make good friends change over time. However, I’ll combine the times and qualities into a Top 5 Friend Qualities list.
1) Embraces your geeky likes
Certain points of view position me as a geek (that’s different than a nerd), which means that I enjoy things that are technical, have deep stories, and connect logically. I have also been referenced as a “scout,” which is related to my being prepared and usually carrying a pocket knife.
Bonding through the stories and lore of Star Wars, Lord of the Rings, viking history, camping, or jigsaw puzzles is a sure-fire way to have a long and enthusiastic conversation with me! People have different passions, so having a friend who can share yours is critical.
2) Helps you shut up at the right time
I have a strong personality and more easily separate emotions from actions, when compared to others. Logical or abstract conclusions and options exist, but sharing certain points of view to the wrong crowd or at the wrong time is more trouble than it’s worth.
So, an excellent friend quality I cherish is one that stops you from talking when you should be quiet.
3) Keeps check on your “you’re crazy” level
Similar to helping you zip your lip, there are also checks needed for doing things… or not doing things. Sometimes, I get tangled up and do dumb things, like getting sprayed by a skunk when I was growing up… my friend and I should have known better!
Other times, good friends help you stay out of trouble, avoid doing things that you will regret later, and help you evaluate alternative paths of action. If you are in a tight spot where there is only a “suck factor of 10/10,” then your friend will be crazy with you.
4) Reminds you that it’s just a game
Yes, that’s me yelling at my computer screen when I fail at fighting my way through orcs, imperial troopers, warlords, or ships. It’s stress relieving to live through another world and have the satisfaction of completion, eventually.
It’s just a game. I know this, but I get reminded of this more times than I can count. Good friends will let you know that there are more important things to get upset about and that you can try again until you succeed.
5) Cheers you on no matter how silly you feel or look
I am not a person that is considered to have “style,” nor am I one to be the center of attention. But there are times when I am encouraged to get out of my comfort zone to help me grow or take on a challenge.
A good friend will help you do both of those things… encourage you to raise your own capabilities and take on things you didn’t think you could.
In Summary…
The best type of friend you can have is one that also wants to be your friend.
In other words, you and your friend…
- Keep each other safe and out of trouble
- Are there for each other in both up and down times
- Do not let your differences come between you
All of these qualities are felt in the heart and speak volumes about the people you associate with. Oh, and make sure you demonstrate these qualities to be a good friend to someone too.
Special shout out to some of my best friends over the years…
Rebecca, Jeff, Andy, Brian, Erin, and Josh
