How to Talk in Front of People Without Passing Out
Survival Tips for Public Speaking
Forget sharks or spiders, for many people their biggest fear is public speaking. It makes them nervous and sweaty, and they’d rather do just about anything else before standing in front of a group of strangers and saying something out loud. Michael Bay’s* recent incident at the CES Samsung unveiling confirmed these fears in one moment: it’s embarrassing to make mistakes in public.
I happen to be fairly comfortable with public speaking. Not because I have a special gift, or because I don’t sometimes completely bomb, but because I’ve worked really hard at it. I’ve practiced. And I wanted to share some tips that I’ve learned through trial and error, and a few (really awesome) public failures.
Give a sh*t. Don’t try and give a talk on something that isn’t in you or that you don’t believe in. The easiest story to tell is the truth and the easiest way to talk is from your heart. If you have a connection to the material, you won’t need scripted words to talk about it.
Rehearse a little, but not too much. Rehearsing in front of someone who’s representative of your audience helps you test the material, language, timing, and flow. If they don’t understand something, you’ll be able to tell by the look on their faces and you can adjust from there. But be careful: Rehearsing too much can cause you to sound robotic. Leave part of your script up to chance. When you’re up there talking, you want to be in the moment and that’s really hard to do when you’ve over-rehearsed. (Unless you’re doing a TED talk. That’s a whole different ball game.)
Gah! Nerves! You’re nervous! So what? Nerves show that you care, and that you want to deliver something that has value for your audience. Nerves are good, as long as they’re not debilitating. Butterflies are often built-up energy — figure out how you can channel that energy. Run up a flight of stairs, run around the building, try deep breaths-in through the nose, out through the mouth, or do jumping jacks. These things can help clear your mind and give you a (good) dose of endorphins.
Talk to your audience, not at them. Don’t rely on slides or technology at all. I know, that sounds scary, but really it’s easier because it truly allows the presentation to unfold. More and more — especially in business settings — people want to be talked to, not talked at. Think of your talk as a conversation. As the speaker, you can benefit from mining the audience’s reactions and asking them questions. Make eye contact with people in the crowd to break down that fourth wall that was never really there in the first place. Find people in the audience who are smiling, or nodding, or with whom you can just relate. Talk to them.
Be human. Our darkest sides judge, but our vulnerable sides want to connect with other people. People can be really forgiving when you own whatever you’re struggling with. Say, “I just lost my train of thought.” or “These slides are off, so I’m a little thrown.” It’s okay to admit to the challenge at hand.
Have a plan B. Determine what you’ll do if Plan A goes awry. Have index cards in your pocket with talking points (to get you back on track) or a joke (to break the ice). When something goes wrong, your immediate goal is to change the energy in the room. Tell a story that elaborates on your topic. In that moment, you might feel as if the audience is judging you, but in reality, they’re rooting for you to find your mojo again.
Humor is your best friend. The number one way to manage anxiety is with humor. Make yourself the fall guy when you trip over a word or make a mistake. Everyone has empathy for what it feels like or must feel like to fall down. People don’t want you to fail. (In fact, that should be your mantra.) But if you feel yourself starting to stumble, own it and forgive yourself.
Keep going. No matter what. The show must go on. Sometimes you can start weak and end strong (really). At the end of the day, you’re a service provider: the audience signed up, and maybe even paid, to see you. They want to hear what you have to say and it’s your job to give them that. A “show must go on” mentality gives them the opportunity to get their money’s worth and gives you an opportunity be be valuable. Find your rhythm and the words and keep moving.
My number one piece of advice is this: If you want to get better, take an acting or improv class. They give you methods for dealing with real-time awkwardness, discomfort, and fear. The classes will put you in situations that are fast-paced and that will force you to create on-the-fly material. And it will feel awful. But they will prepare you for real situations. The more you embarrass yourself and screw up in the classes, the better you’ll be able to handle these kinds of moments in real life.
Truly, anyone can speak in public effectively. You just have be mindful of what it takes for you to connect with the material, connect with the audience, and deliver a message that’s interesting, personable, and fun. Fun is everything: poke fun at yourself and how human you are (read: vulnerable). Every single one of us has had a moment when we’ve failed in public, or if we haven’t — we’re just fearfully waiting to do so. And it’s that moment, or fear, that the audience is living and reliving when they see someone struggling. Use that empathy to your benefit.
And stay hydrated. It actually makes a difference. I promise.
*I’m really not criticizing Michael Bay. What he went through was hard, unexpected, and totally human. And, unfortunately for him, it was in a more public setting than most of us will ever experience. If a highly compensated celebrity director can freeze, anybody can. But there are ways around it.
