I love taking risks. Calculated risks, that is. And I love taking them up until the time I actually need to take them. Then I waiver. Should I or shouldn’t I? And then the what ifs begin.
Last week, I talked about positive speak and changing the conversations I am having with myself. Well that certainly applies here. I am working hard to keep the doubts at bay and just trust that taking risks is a fundamental ingredient towards becoming the best version of myself.
In fact, I am facing a big decision right now. I have one week to make the move or the opportunity will be lost.
So why am I so hesitant?
Is It Because of My Fear of Failure?
No, that’s not it. I know that failure is only a part of my journey and each failure teaches me something I need to know to get where I’m going.
Is It Because I Like Playing It Safe?
That’s not it either. I have never been one to play it safe. I often take action before I should and have never been one to sit on an idea for too long. I am from the go big or go home way of thinking.
Is It Because of The Obstacles That Might Pop Up?
Nope. Not that either. I work best under pressure and much prefer to tackle an unexpected problem then prepare for them in advance. I have found the problems I prepare for never actually arise anyway.
Is It Because I Don’t Have Support?
Wrong again. I have complete support from my husband and even my kids. For example, when your teenager says he can pinch pennies for a few weeks and that I should do it because it is perfect for me, you know you are on to something. Afterall, he is a teenager and we all know teenagers rarely think of anyone but themselves.
So why haven’t I just given in and taken the risk? I honestly don’t know. It could be because I don’t have to make up my mind until next week. Or maybe it is the doubt that is creeping into my head. Or am I fighting because I don’t think I am worthy?
Those things don’t sound like the new version of me I have been working on for a year and a half. But maybe, just maybe, my work isn’t done. In fact, I should get used to the fact that it probably never will be.
“A fall from the third floor hurts as much as a fall from the hundredth.
If I have to fall, may it be from a high place.” -Paulo Coelho
I guess it’s time to go back to the conversations I am having with myself. I’ve done my homework, I’m willing to work hard and I know taking this risk will pay off handsomely. When it comes down to it, it isn’t such a huge risk after all. Now if only I could get my head to agree.
