1. Hard Work, Focus and Purpose will get you what you want.
  2. The pursuit of happiness, being nice and self-belief.
  3. The abandonment of self-critique in favour of perseverance.

Hard Work, Focus and Purpose will get you what you want.

This past week has been interesting. For starters, it’s easy to fall.

Too easy, remain on the ground and accept the reality of you being there.

It’s easy to let self doubt and social etiquette to cloud your self esteem and breed an air of entitlement. Giving life to thoughts like…

I should get that job.
I deserve that promotion.
I’ll be a millionaire as soon as I get 1% of the market

But at what point should anyonegive a shit about YOU?

Taking responsibility is incredible difficult.

It requires working hard as well as it being uncomfortable.

For the past few years, I have been complacent.

I thought that and software engineering was a way out of my previous career and a way to avoid the necessity to dealing with office politics and bureaucracy.

But so many of my ex-colleagues accepted the above as a reality and have come to terms with dealing with peoples’ egos.

But how do you keep your own ego in check?

I thought that, being a developer was enough. I thought that having a few years experience was enough.

But it isn’t.

As soon as I accepted that I was good enough was the moment I failed to see my own self defeating behaviour and how it manifested in entitlement and self doubt.

So within this period of self doubt, I formed a habit of negative escapism. By complaining how my circumstance was unavoidable, I realised that this was a negative energy in my life. No one… NO ONE can solve your problems but you. No ONE can do the work for you.

I had a brief conversation with River (Hack Partners) on Sunday, and he asked what was going on in my life. I mentioned how I was doing a lot of coding challenges and this was basically taking up my time (and how I didn’t have much time left over for socialising). It really struck me how he basically said

You need to work hard and be willing to sacrifice your social life in order to get what you want…

This stuck with me. It made me realise the flaws of my thinking, and how I wanted everything but unwilling to work hard…

Which brings me to my next topic.

The pursuit of happiness, being nice and self-belief.

It’s Rise week and I was fortunate to be in the audience for Gary Vee’s talks. First at Rise Panda stage and then at Metta in LKF.

The things that stuck with me was

  1. Being selfish with one’s happiness permits you to become selfless to others where value is required.
  2. With that pursuit of happiness, all relationships, both professional and personal will yield overall benefits
  3. Being Nice allows you the opportunity to voice your opinions and offer an audience to those who need to hear thoughts that are uncomfortable.
  4. Self belief is not made, it’s self taught, trained and wired.

One’s happiness

The biggest problem I’ve had is, I often take work home. I’m wired where, it’s difficult to switch off when I get home. Sometimes the frustration will be written on my face. Sometimes problems feel so insurmountable that I’ll get into the habit of “if only I can find a way…”

But the thing is, one’s happiness is a motivation, a fuel that drives your household. It permeates through your personal and professional relationships.

If you’re a grumpy negative person… 
Why would anyone want to work with you?

Who cares if I have the answers to your problems… If I’m a shit person to be around, you won’t want to hear what I have to say.

And I think the important thing about this point is that,

If I don’t take responsibility for how I handle myself in public…

How will you be able to hear what needs to be said? — Would I not also be complicit in the ignorance of not voicing out what needs to be said?

Being able to be heard from people who value your opinion gives you the opportunity to feel that self-belief.

Making Time for yourself and others

Taking time for yourself is important, i.e. self-care. However, knowing how your time is valuable to others is another aspect that I have come to realise. Does it matter that I don’t see a friend for a few months, six months, a year?

People will make time for you if you give them value. If you offer them something they CAN NOT get elsewhere.

This is particularly true with my relationships with friends in the startup community.

I have been complicit in my self-doubt for the past two years.

I internalised external failures as faults of others.
I never asked the important question:

What should I have done to help?

For my friends in the community, who are hella busy and who I haven’t seen in ages… For you, I want to offer you my time. I will come to your aid and I hope it yields value to you.

Ping me if you need me.