No Hope Given, No Hope Restored

by Vannesa Cornejo

I look into the eyes of a former lover. A lover who I lye in bed with, but do not appreciate. A lover who I kiss, but do not cherish.

I say former lover for he has become foreign to my world. Lost in translation- lost in not a language, but merely a soul.

I once made his pain my pain. His happiness was my happiness, but was I truly content to be accompanied by someone unknown?

He has arduously tried to make me love him, but how I wish he would realize that such a feeling can not be forced.

Where did things go wrong? How can I make them right again? Where have we hid the compassion that once existed?

I just can not find it, though I have tried and aside from forgetting who he is… I remember what we had.

I remember how the brightest of nights were the ones spent by his side.

I remember how the most satisfying of words were the ones he would speak to me.

I remember how the loveliest of moments were the ones he would gaze into my eyes and rehearse a simple “I love you”.

Where have those times gone and how can I have them back? For the only thing I want more is to be there again.

Some say I have reached a point of no return. That the solution to amending my broken spirit is to give up.

The more I think of him, I realize that forfeiting is only logical.

That it is time to let go of what have become memories. That there is no more worth in trying. That more time invested would only be time wasted. That the love we felt was unreal and there was never a moment of complete faith for what we shared…

but then I would be lying to myself. I would be lying to him and to everyone if, even for a second, I thought any of that was true.

For when there is no hope given, there can be no hope restored.