How to Talk to the Man Who is Creepily Smiling at You at the Bus Stop

Aug 31, 2016 · 4 min read
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These days, many men have joined the workforce and need to take public transportation to their respective jobs. Thankfully, so do a few of us women. Unlike twenty, fifteen or even ten years ago, it is now possible for a woman to approach one of her male commuter counterparts and talk to him. And trust us, if you’re a lady waiting for the bus, there will definitely be a man waiting too. But how will you know exactly which man you should approach? It’s simple:

Go over to the man that’s staring at you with a creepy smile plastered on his face.

Don’t overthink it. He’ll be there, and you’ll know as soon as you accidentally make eye contact with him. Of course, he might not be single, but that doesn’t really matter — he’s apt to not care either way!

Literally nothing. You’ve already got it, whether you wanted it or not. Time to make your move.

In most cases, you won’t have to go to that extreme, as most men staring at you with a creepy smile at a bus stop aren’t shy about approaching you. But some men are such nice guys they just won’t take the extra step. This is where you have to take charge of the situation and say hello.

The conversation should be as natural as possible. But you’ll especially want to make it clear that you appreciate his attention and that, because you’ve wandered into a shared public space with him, you are now at his mercy.

[Smile back at him in a friendly manner]. I noticed you were staring at me so I figured I should probably say something.

I couldn’t help but notice how beautiful your eyes are. :)

[You can take your sunglasses off if you wish at this point.] Thanks.

I don’t normally stare at girls at bus stops, but you were just so beautiful I couldn’t help myself. I saw that you were busy staring at your phone and I was envious of whoever was getting all that attention from you on the other end.

[Remember to keep smiling]. Aww, that’s nice. I was reading a text message from my mom. It doesn’t look like my aunt is going to be coming home from hospice any time soon.

At this point you’ll want to remember that he really doesn’t care about what’s going on in your life. Try to not dwell on your situation, that’s rude. Give him the opportunity to talk about himself a bit. Once he’s discussed his future job plans once he moves out of his mom’s apartment and his 100% accurate political ideologies and views on race relations, you’ll want to throw him a few compliments and laugh a bit to keep the awkward conversation going for as excruciatingly long as possible, since your bus is now running ten minutes late. Be sure to avoid any buzzwords in the conversation that could tick him off like “No thanks,” “No,” “I’m Not Interested” and “Personal Autonomy.”

If you haven’t done anything to accidentally set him off and call you a “fucking bitch” yet, that means things are going well! You two are hitting it off — there could be romance in the very near future! But your bus should be coming soon and after another painful twenty minutes of sitting across from each other on the bumpy, overcrowded ride, you may split off from one another and you’ll never see your dream guy again. It’s time to give him your number. You may decide that this probably isn’t the best idea but that doesn’t matter. You’ve chatted with him, now you owe him the opportunity to text you at any hour of the night because he needs validation. Who are you to deny him that? He may just want to shower you with compliments whenever he feels like it, why wouldn’t you want that? You don’t know that you’re beautiful, and you need to know it. And this is the only man that can tell you that.

The best part of this is that it’s not just limited to bus stops — try this tactic out anywhere. Whether it’s at a train station, your workplace, your apartment lobby, a hospital, a library, a coffee shop, the hallway outside your apartment, a high school, a college campus, the airport, on the doormat outside your apartment door, a pet shop — there’s sure to be a man staring at you with a creepy smile. Seize the day, go on up and talk to him. You never know how close true love can be.

Oh, but try not be too confident about it. Nobody likes an egotistical bitch.

Jamie L. Rotante is a modern woman. Tweet at her @Jamitha and read more of her stuff at Photo by Felix Mizioznikov |

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