you’re a bunch of boys making models out of balsa wood.

First Man (2018)

disclaimer: sorry i am so late to this party (aka watching/reviewing this movie). i was busy not really wanting to be here.

i have to be honest with you: i didn’t love it. and let’s just say, something has to go pretty wrong for me to not love a movie with both Ryan Gosling and Kyle Chandler. spoilers below, obviously.

my entire body was tense for most of the movie, i may have stopped breathing for a time, did i cry? who’s to say. that scene where they tell Gosling the goal is to stabilize the machine before he passes out — ya i thought i was going to pass out just watching it. no thanks.

what saved the movie for me was Neil Armstrong’s occasional quick wit (assuming he was accurately portrayed, which based on the like 7 articles i read, ok skimmed, it seems like he was). see below for a couple of my faves.

Neil Armstrong: Well, we need to fail. We need to fail down here, so we don’t fail up there.
Bob Gilruth: Okay, Neil, Neil. At what cost, huh?
Neil Armstrong: At what cost? Well, it’s a little bit late for that question, isn’t it, sir?

zingers all day, every day.

Mike Collins: So you think you’re going to the Moon.
Buzz Aldrin: It’s been up for grabs since Gus died. I’m just saying what you’re thinking.
Neil Armstrong: Well, maybe you shouldn’t.

boom roasted, Buzz.

Buzz Aldrin (outer space’s resident bad boy) makes some lame comment about bringing jewelry for his wife so she can having bragging rights.
Reporter: Neil, will you take anything?
Neil Armstrong: If I had a choice, I’d take more fuel.

good call, Neil. ever practical.

fun facts*:

• 784 — the number of shots of Ryan Gosling’s beautiful blue eyes looking wistfully up toward space
• 0 — the amount of on-screen chemistry Gosling and Foy have (this may be unfair having seen The Notebook, but it’s not my fault that movie set unrealistic expectations)
• 82 — seconds of screen time during which they try to be super political before literally ignoring all the conflicts they just introduced for the rest of the film
• 18 — the number of seemingly super important nasa big shots who they never really introduce, like i’m supposed to know what old dude decided who went on which mission
• 104 — the number of zoomed-in shots on screws in a piece of equipment about to hurtle through space. we get it, this is dangerous

in all seriousness, this movie depicted one of the most exciting story lines in human history. it also shows the mental and emotional toll it took, not only on the astronauts, but on their families. getting a man to the moon forever changed mankind — just look at us now, Bezos thinks we could live up there. i’ll leave you with a real Neil Armstrong quote:

“The important achievement of Apollo was demonstrating that humanity is not forever chained to this planet and our visions go rather further than that and our opportunities are unlimited.”

lgf.

*these “facts” are in no way real or accurate or based on any kind of truth. i made them up. as if that wasn’t obvious.