The ugly truth about collaboration

Five ways that creating things in groups is not at all pleasant

Working in collaboration seems all the rage these days. But, if you want a nice life, make sure you avoid at all costs — it is unpleasant and will run you ragged. If you decide to take on an almighty challenge with a committed band, here is some of what you can expect after the initial excitement and optimism.

1. Doubt

I’m talking the big, existential kind. The kind that hits full in the face as you catch yourself saying out loud “do we even still agree why we are here?” and no-one responds. Then, on the way home, when your mind wanders to “why is he involved when he has so little to contribute?” and, a moment later, “what am I really contributing?”. Whatever the answer to either question, one thing is sure: you didn’t do much of value today.

2. Uncertainty

There was a plan that made sense but somehow it’s changed, without clarity on exactly what is going to happen now. Some people are pretending to be enthusiastic and saying things like “go with the flow” — but they know as well as you do (you can see it in their eyes) that at this rate there is a very real chance that with all this flow, everything of worth will be washed away.

3. Frustration

The only worse thing than when people don’t understand the fundamental issues, is when you can’t find a clear way to explain why. They think you are attacking their ideas but, in reality, they are being naive — and that’s enough to frustrate anyone. Stay in the conversation long enough, mind, and you start to question whether even you can tell the wash-water from the wisdom. Are you all just using the same words to mean different things?

4. Conflict

Everyone was civil at the start but as you reach some crunch decisions, things start to fray. Of the routes forward, you have made it quite clear which would undermine all you are all looking to achieve. But does she really listen? She seems to on the surface, but is not letting go of her defence of the indefensible. To be honest, it does cross your mind that she might have it in for you personally or at least be playing some pretty dark politics.

5. Sadness

The problem with being hopeful is that it can all get dashed on the rocks when storms rise up. Things had been starting to become clear, and you’d (to your surprise) unlocked some almighty progress. For once the whole group agreed and the energy was flowing. Then comes this dank discovery and it’s like everything held ever held dear has been smashed into a 1000 pieces. Where to go now? Perhaps it is time to give up.

So, why bother with collaboration?

Great question. The truth is there are lots of reasons to just get your head down and do — and what’s plainly clear is we must ignore enthusiastic calls to collaborate on everything. Groups can slow you down and get in the way of getting things done. But, let’s at least admit that there are some important and complex challenges that you can’t handle on your own. They demand a combination of expertise and you are experienced enough to recognise that you will need a coalition if you want any impact.

Perhaps it’s in these moments you see the truth: if you care enough about what you are doing, you can accommodate the rollercoaster ride. In a culture obsessed with optimism, we often forget that the goal of life and work isn’t happiness or pleasantness anyway. It’s meaning and impact. And if you navigate collaboration well, the right conversation can turn the negatives into a positive force for the group:

If we are honest, our doubt can turn into renewed conviction.

If we ground ourselves, our uncertainty can turn into an improved plan.

If we get curious about others, our frustration can turn into fresh perspective.

If we stay calm, our conflict can turn into a break-though.

If we are vulnerable, our sadness can turn into resilience.

I’m not saying these transitions are automatic, or the conversations are always comfortable. In fact, they are often the most challenging part of working together. But maybe (just maybe) collaboration wasn’t ever about a steady state of pleasant feelings anyway.

Richard Watkins is the founder of Let’s Go, a consulting practice that offers practical support for organisations who want to get better at collaboration.

Follow Rich on twitter @letsgorich

• Inspiration and events to make sense of collaboration — for example engaging top 65 leaders of a pharmaceutical division through what it takes to navigate collaboration (culminating in co-building a sculpture)
• Embedding structures for more productive collaboration — for example setting up a new way of working together for a group of public sector organisations
• Training and leadership development — for example training and coaching a housing provider on navigating complex partnerships
• Taking on complex collaborative challenges — for example helping a large charity support the ecosystem around employee giving