Happiness in Hopping off The Hedonic Treadmill
Can you remember a time when you were dreaming about something, wishing for it under your breath, or straight after that ginormous sigh that escapes you in The Tube or while stuck in traffic just 10 minutes from home? Perhaps they are large meaningful wishes like a career swing…or it could be something innocent enough, a tug in your mind saying “I WANT that new iPhone.” And sure enough, just as you felt certain at the time that you would be happier when you get x-house, y-job or z-gadget…the happiness doesn’t last with just xyz.
So what’s this all about? The Hedonic Treadmill (also known as hedonic adaptation) is a theory which proposes that people return to their level of happiness, regardless of what happens to them. Without delving too much on the psychological studies and decades of discourse work, let’s look at the following quote from Charles Spurgeon: “It’s not how much we have, but how much we enjoy, that makes happiness.”
Many essays tackling the pursuit of happiness from hedonic treadmill to the psychology behind “happiness in experiences not things” abound these days…One that I am particularly happy to share with you is making the conscious choice to get off the treadmill by practicing rituals. To truly stop and smell the flowers (or coffee if you were so inclined)!
Let’s talk about The How.
The Science of Happiness (yes it’s a thing) proposes that happiness lies in matters we already feel to be truly important. Just as we often learn and relearn rituals to make our lives more productive, we are all capable of happiness.
Focusing on good positive things in your life and present reality.
This old chestnut may be tiresome in times of stress, but the ‘every cloud has a silver lining’ thing can save your health and your mindset. Colleague drives you crazy? They wake up tomorrow still themselves. And you wake up you, how awesome is that, not being, well, them. At moments you aren’t ecstatic about your job, it may help to feel grateful for the job, and most importantly for the emotional intelligence it takes to recognise that you deserve better!
Nurturing social connections which foster happiness that is more than fleeting.
Forget WhatsApp, email or texts…Successes, highs and lows are all chapters of a story that may be worth talking about again. Or listening to. Call special characters in your life, like on the phone.
Sure, your status updates can elicit a smile in those you love. But they will be happy to hear your voice, and you will like hearing theirs — it sure beats the tiny dots on your smartphone or tablet!
Showing kindness and compassion to yourself and others
Mentoring or volunteer work projects in communities around the world are more readily available now than they’ve ever been. Seek a solid way to make a difference, whether it’s helping at a local soup kitchen or taking part in MentorsMe or StartUpNation. There is nothing quite like happy moments that stem from connecting to others in your community. I highly recommend it!
Move and flow
Choose an activity that makes you smile and do that activity regularly and consistently. If you tire of repetition, then shake it up and do a handful of different ones. Really cannot bear to drive or commute to the gym or other workout venue? There’s an app for that. Yoga on Gaia and FitStar are personal favourites.
Chocolate triggers endorphins that are very similar to those triggered when one feels in love. We all love our short cuts, but there’s no way around the need for physical activity. It may feel like a chore when getting started, but once you find your flow, it’s definitely happiness in small doses that cannot be replaced by anything that comes in bars or bottles. Personally I think it enhances my joy in eating chocolate.
Mindfulness
Truly unplugging from the digital world can sometimes feel like an actual skill set. It can be tough, especially when hyper-connectivity is practically ‘the norm’. The key thing here is the detox bit. Tuning off, and then what?
Meditation and Yoga work for a lot of people worldwide…and sometimes rest, reflection and just solid pampering; or a combination thereof does the trick. In spells. One deliberate session of disconnecting from work and truly recharging, and making sure it isn’t too far back in time from the next session.
What do you think? Share a ritual with me. Doing it just might make you smile.
…I think ultimately, it’s all tweaking and discovery. Explore stuff not on a list. Kick the bucket list. Immerse in a coffee scrub or mud bath. Drink better coffee (and better wine, if so inclined). Play the ‘guilty pleasures’ playlist loud and sing along. You’d be amazed at how powerful some very simple techniques can be. Nothing can really be followed to a tee, just create a guideline that can be morphed around your unique set of circumstances…The littlest thing can beautifully alter your present reality.
You don’t me but I have three children, have lived and worked across three continents and my husband has survived three brain surgeries. Ups and downs, changes in jobs and geography, you name it, we remain ridiculously happy. Joy from the inside needs a bit of a nudge sometimes, and is always worth sharing.
