A letter to my growing absurd smile
What appeared to be the absurdity of society to me, may soon become a reality the moment my desires, or fears, finally succeed in pulling me to adopt a particular way of life
The absurdity of living with your wife in a rented apartment or a big owned house, or even more so, raising children in a very uncertain world that is becoming harder to live in, has always sounded like a bad choice — in other words, I have always been against the idea of me getting married, if not the idea of marriage as a whole
But given the movements of my feelings and the way my mind slowly forms lurking opinions that I am mostly unaware of, I can envision myself a few years from now being taken by surprise when I wake up to see I have completed doing all these absurdities
What then can I do if not smile at the person who asks me of my opinions on almost anything?
Looking at the fickle nature of my mind, and how much my opinions are subject to my external situations, I find it hard to be sure about anything
Much of my external situations have changed since last year, and my memory acts as the inhibitor of my brain’s coping mechanism with the updated reality
Surely, it is rather easy for people to think that I am dumb or naive to a certain extent when I don’t have much to say or don’t have an opinion
Surely, they think I am closed-off and don’t talk much
Very surely, they think I am maladjusted and not social
But what can I do but smile when people ask me of my opinions?
