Happy Mother’s Day!

Dear Meethi Ma

All of the last two days I have been receiving messages on special offers on Mother’s Day. Social media is full of people declaring their love for their moms. To be honest it angered me. Made me feel miserable. Perhaps left out! I wanted to ask if any store has a special offer for moms in heaven. Or if any popular entertainment news agency has ideas on bonding activities for those who are not physically present here on earth. Last year I spent Mother’s Day hiding myself from everyone and working my ass off. This year, the truth is glaring at me – you are dead and I stand here missing you terribly. I hated the smell of your coconut soap. Today I seem to be attracted to anything that smells remotely of coconut. Being able to lie in your lap was the most peaceful feeling ever – a feeling of peace and security. It is like knowing that things will be fine! I drape myself in your saree and search for that peace. That comfort. I know perhaps I am hallucinating when I think your saree still smells of you. Perhaps I am totally delusional when I can hear a tinker of your bangles while folding the saree.

Memories are strange. They come flushing back in your life at the strangest of moments. Like as I stood outside the salon, a mom daughter duo walked past me and I was instantly transported to how I took you for your last haircut. You were horrified at the bill. And all I could do was smile. Or when I crossed Radisson the other day and all I could think of was how you were always before Radisson or after Radisson when coming back home from work, thanks to your lack of Delhi road knowledge. Or when I needed to cook something urgently for a friend arriving for dinner in 15 minutes and was out of most ingredients, all I could think of was onion tomato rice. Such moments are plenty. And experiencing most of these moments I cry. I hope someday these memories make me smile but currently I am far far from it.

I have learnt a lot from you mom. But if I were to identify one thing that, for me defines your impact on me, it is empathy. I am working towards making empathy an integral part of my life, of being able to work with others, listen to them without any judgement. And that Meethi Ma, is the only gift I can give you this Mother’s Day!

Missingly yours!

Me