On Weapons and Toys

If you ever decide to become a professional comic, Joseph, you’ll have plenty of material.

It’s almost obligatory for comedians these days to lament — in a humorous way, of course — how deprived they were growing up.

So you’re all set. We haven’t bought you a new toy in ages. (Happy Meal trinkets don’t count).

“My dad threw away more toys than he ever bought us. If we didn’t clean up toys, they were in the trash!” Doesn’t sound hilarious, I know. You’ll have to work on the delivery.

You can embellish with descriptions of how you got around your parents’ disdain for toys and clutter — and even got the last laugh. You have proven that one doesn’t need store-bought toys to have fun.

The stick is so versatile. Shown above, with a simple application of masking tape, it becomes a sword, which is easily upgraded to a crossbow. If you poke a hole in the middle of the tape, it’s obviously a hand gun.

Weapons/ toys (they’re really the same thing, right) are all around.

“Screw you Target. I get my weapons for free.”

“And as a bonus, I am slowly putting together my stand up routine.”

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