Dear Daughter — Forgive Yourself
We all make mistakes, and things happen. Accept the situation, forgive yourself and everyone involved, and let it go. Free yourself from the burden of the past and move on.
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Dear daughter,
Today I wanted to talk to you about forgiveness. We all make mistakes. We all fail. We all have to live with the consequences of our choices. There will be times when you will resent yourself for yours.
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No matter what you did. No matter what went wrong. No matter how bad things may be at this moment.
I want you to accept what happened and completely, unapologetically forgive yourself.
There is no changing the past.
You can’t change what happened. Leave the past to the past, honey. You are where you are. It is what it is. Accept it, learn from it, and move on.
You’re not the same person you were. You’re wiser and older. The only thing you have in common with that girl is your name.
You did what seemed like the right thing to do in that situation. And even if you knew better but didn’t have the strength or the will to do it — it’s OK.
We all make mistakes. We are all flawed human beings.
What you do going forward, who you become from this moment on, is all that matters. Try to do better from now on. That’s all you can do. That’s all anyone can do. And that is enough.
If you knew then what you know now, you would do things differently.
That was impossible at that time. I know it, and you know it. No one can predict the future with absolute certainty. We can’t know what’s going to happen. Let it go.
We do the best we can with what we’ve got and then accept the consequences of those choices.
That’s all we can ever do. Sometimes, that will work out beautifully. Other times, it will end in disaster. It’s just life, baby girl. It happens to all of us.
We can’t always be the best versions of ourselves.
We can’t always make the right choices, the right moves, or say the right words. We can’t always be strong, patient, smart, and loving. No one can. Yes, that includes you, my darling girl. We can try, but we are still only human.
So forgive yourself, and while you’re at it, forgive everyone else for the same reasons.
- They, too, can’t always do the right things.
- They, too, don’t always understand things.
- They, too, make mistakes.
Forgive yourself and forgive them. Move on. Let it all go.
Release yourself from the burden of resentment.
Forgive yourself not because you believe you deserve redemption. Forgive others not because they deserve forgiveness.
Forgiveness has nothing to do with the person you are forgiving. This is something you do for yourself. They needn’t know you’ve forgiven them!
Forgive everyone, because the only person you are hurting by holding on to resentment is you, baby girl.
- Forgive yourself and others because there really is no other choice.
- Because there is no benefit to holding on to resentment, only pain and sorrow.
- Do it because that’s the only way to move forward.
Let go of the burden and feel the weight being lifted from your heart. Feel yourself becoming lighter. Feel the freedom of forgiveness. You deserve it. You’re the only one who can do that for yourself.
Repeat after me, darling: “I forgive myself. I truly, completely, and deeply forgive myself. I did the best I could at the time. If I had known better, I would have done better. And that is enough. I am enough. I forgive myself. I accept myself. I accept this situation. And I let it go. I am not that person anymore. I will do better next time. I love and forgive myself.”
Just so you know, if you ever feel you’ve hurt me — I forgive you. I forgave you the moment the pain stung my heart. You needn’t worry about me, my darling.
I hope you can forgive me for any mistakes I might have made. I am sure there are plenty. I, too, am a deeply flawed human being who nonetheless loves you unconditionally.
I am proud of you, baby girl. You are still the best thing that ever happened in my life. No matter where life takes us, nothing will ever change that.
I may not always agree with you or understand you, but I have and will always love you.
I hope you will one day learn to love yourself as I love you.
Love, Dad.
