PEER PRESSURE

How to Resist Peer Pressure Like a Master?

People will try and force you to do things you don’t want to do. Don’t give them an inch! Here’s how to become impervious to pressure. (Dear Daughter)

Image created by “AI tool Microsoft Bing Image Creator powered by DALL·E” — the author has the provenance and copyright.

Dear daughter,

We, humans, are social animals. It’s important to us that we are liked, accepted, respected, and loved. This instinct and need is especially prevalent when we’re still little puppies searching for our place in the world, still trying to find out who we are and where we belong.

What is peer pressure?

When people in your peer group try to influence you into changing your attitude, behavior, or beliefs in order to conform to the norms or expectations of that group, we call it peer pressure. In essence, it’s when you’re friends try to make you do things you don’t want to do by encouragement, persuasion, ridicule, or exclusion.

• “We’re all doing it. Don’t be such a wuss! Jump! Drink! Try it!”
• “We can’t be friends with you if you don’t do, like, or believe this…”
• “She is a coward! She doesn’t dare! Come on. Do it! Do it! Do it!”

Peer pressure is for the weak, and you are strong

We are always susceptible to influence from our social circles, especially if we lack confidence in ourselves and are still trying to please everyone.

This often leads to very stupid and dangerous situations, not only among kids or teenagers but also among adults. A group of men, for example, should have a proximity alert for stupidity and testosterone at large!

Remember that one person can be incredibly smart and intelligent, but in a group setting, a different mentality takes over, and we are all susceptible to doing things we would never do on our own. The allure and power of peer pressure are immense!

It touches us on some primal level and is, for most people, irresistible on a deep unconscious level. It preys on our EGO, our desire to fit in, be liked, be accepted, and our most profound weaknesses. It dares us to do the most dangerous and stupid thing imaginable. Most people are ill-equipped to fight against this overwhelming force.

My goal is to make you strong and able to resist any pressure

My darling girl, I have made it my mission to raise you into a woman who can stand on her own two feet and make up her mind, regardless of the situation, danger, or pressure applied.

• One of the most important qualities in people is their ability to fight this pressure, their deep-seated need to appease the crowd, conform to the norm, comply, follow, and stay true to themselves and what they believe is right.
• The thing I despise most about people is their lack of critical thinking and conviction. Are you not a thinking animal? Then think with your head!

The majority, especially in a tribal setting, are usually wrong

In fact, most don’t even think in such an environment. They just go along with the vibe and the group’s narrative, as false, idiotic, or dangerous as it may be. A rational human being often becomes nothing more than a stupid, socially intoxicated animal, incapable of independent thought and rationalizing.

Groupthink is effectively “no-think”! It’s just one or two people with the loudest voices and the strongest charismas leading the pack, which simply follows their lead indiscriminately. Being right is replaced by fitting in, and that is just plain wrong.

You are a smart, strong, independent young woman, and I am confident that no matter the situation or circumstances, you are more than capable of making the right decisions on your own.

Trust in yourself, my darling

I know you have good, strong values, and as long as you build your decision-making process around them, you’ll make the right decisions.

• I know that you understand why having unprotected sex with strangers is a bad idea. I know that because you’re not an illiterate cave girl with no eyes, ears, and brains. You know how babies are made, you know about sexually transmissible diseases, and you know of plenty of examples indicating there is danger in this activity despite its momentary appeal.
• I know that you know why walking down a dark side street at night alone or in a small group is a bad idea.
• I know you know what addiction is and what it does to people. You also understand that no one chooses to become addicted. It just happens out of a myriad of possible underlying reasons (primarily emotional ones) and exposure to addictive substances or activities.
• I know that you understand that smoking is bad for you, and if needed, you could teach the subject to smaller kids.
• I know that you know what happens to so many drug users everywhere and how they end up, and you don’t want that for yourself. Leave “The Walking Dead” for TV shows.
• I know that you know that experimenting with drugs is dangerous and that so many young people fall for the trap of “it can’t happen to me,” and we’re “just having some fun,” “I can quit anytime.”
• I know that you understand that drinking alcohol is effectively poisoning your body on purpose. I know that you understand that what causes the change in mood, motor, and thinking capabilities is your body being affected by that poison, effectively too busy fighting this alien agent to be able to operate normally.
• I also know that you understand that a drink here and there won’t do much damage and that there’s nothing wrong with it, but that getting stupid drunk is a bad idea on so many levels. Plus, you’ve seen those ugly, drunken chicks who can’t stand straight, and you don’t want to become one.
• I know that you know that no one should drive while intoxicated, and you should stay as far away as possible from anyone who doesn’t understand that, lest their stupidity rub off on your life with irreparable consequences. No buts and ifs! You’re too smart for that, my girl.
• I know that you know better than to hang out with idiots who continually do things that go against your beliefs, values and good judgment. That sooner or later, they will drag you down to their level and make you do things you’ll regret.
• I know that you understand why jumping into shallow water without first checking how deep it is is inherently a bad idea. You’ve heard of low and high tides and seen images of people who are now tied to a wheelchair for doing the exact same thing.
• I also know that you are a good, loving, and kind person. I know you don’t want to deliberately cause suffering in others, especially if they have done nothing to you. Since you are a good, strong, and confident person and don’t want to cause suffering, you will naturally treat others with kindness and understanding, no matter who they are and especially if they are in any way weaker than you.

You see, my darling, I trust you completely

I have all the faith in this world that you know right from wrong and will choose right every single time. But I also know that you’re just human and can fall under some bad influence and peer pressure, which can result in you forgetting that you know all these things.

Understanding something is the root of being able to resist the pressure and temptation of doing something you shouldn’t.

But understanding isn’t enough, is it? You must also be strong enough to fight this pressure, this nagging, tempting seduction, and mental game. You have to be willing to risk losing friends if they turn out to be assholes.

• The right friends will stay. In fact, they’ll love more for it.
• The wrong people will fall out of your life sooner or later. I say better as quickly as possible. Fuck em!

I know you are strong enough and don’t need anyone’s validation to feel good about yourself. I know you can stand in front of a crowd of incessant, screaming cheerleaders and laugh at their attempts to make you do something you don’t want to do. I know that. Do you?

Here’s the ultimate secret weapon for the utter annihilation of peer pressure — label it!

Call peer pressure by its name, and it will lose its power over you

Next time you feel peer pressure and subtle resistance to what is being suggested, you should label it as such — out loud, young lady.

• Stand your ground, laugh at their miserable attempts to make you do something you don’t want to do, and turn it on them.
• Tell them to their face that you’ve made up your mind, and nothing they do will change that.
• Tell them directly that this blatant attempt at manipulation and peer pressure works only on the weak, and it has no effect on you. They’re wasting their time.

If you’re feeling polite, simply ask them: “Does this whole peer pressure manipulation extortion thingy really work on anyone? I mean, on adults? Are people really that weak and stupid?”

Once you 1. see it for what it is and 2. label it as such, it loses all its power and grip over you in an instant. It’s like an ice-cold shower.

It doesn’t work only on your peers, that is to say, your friends, coworkers, and classmates; it’s also a powerful tool in closer relationships. Nip any manipulation and emotional extortion in the but. You don’t need that in your life. Notice it, and call it what it is.

Ask the “manipulator” why they’re trying to manipulate you and if they’re doing it on purpose because it’s not working, and you can see what they’re doing. Bam! Just like that — they’ve lost all power over you, and they know it and now feel like shit. You’ve won! Congrats!

Once you understand that their pressuring you into something has nothing to do with you or some perceived weakness in you but is only their desperate attempt at making you one of them so that they don’t feel so bad about themselves anymore, you realize that it is you who is the strong one and they who are weak.

Fighting peer pressure is easy

• I know that you understand what is the right thing to do and what is not. You’re a smart, strong, and capable young woman! You understand it all.
• People will try to make you do things you don’t agree with all your life. They will try to manipulate you. Notice the game they’re playing and think of the underlying reason why they do what they do. Realize it’s not about you. It’s about them. They are the ones who are weak and stupid, not you! They need you to comply in order to feel good. You don’t need them.
• Simply say no to whatever you don’t want to do, especially if it’s dangerous or goes against your values or rationale. If they try their little manipulation games and proceed with pressuring you, notice the game, call it what it is, and tell them that you know what they’re doing.
• Ask them why they are playing mind games with you and why they are trying to manipulate you and pressure you into doing something you don’t want to do. What’s in it for them? Does this pathetic approach really work? Are people really this stupid and gullible?
• Always stay true to yourself and your values! Never let other people negatively influence you against your own better judgment. Not mine — yours!

Stay strong, my darling girl. Resist peer pressure and groupthink with all you’ve got!

Love, dad

Remember to like, comment, and subscribe so you don’t miss anything. Would you help me out by sharing the content you like? I appreciate it! Thank you. If you want to read more similar content, you can find more of these Dear Daughter letters.