Being a Dad is about the Bumpers, not the Ball

Dear Sammy,

When I told your Uncle David that I was scared about being a father, he put a comforting hand on my shoulder and said “Being a good dad isn’t about rolling a perfect strike. It’s about laying down the right bumpers.”

I’m a terrible bowler, but the metaphor still resonates three years later. Instead of trying to roll a strike and be an awesome father, I try to create a “lane” where we can build a relationship. And I protect that lane with bumpers.

That means getting home at least two nights a week to tuck you into bed, and sing you our song. It means showing up…like to your first day of preschool a few weeks ago, and your first ballet recital next month. It means finding time each week for just the two of us. We mix it up… hikes, dance parties, or your recent favorite — watching the traffic light change colors.

David’s advice lets me breathe, because I’m not too worried about making our time together the “best time ever”. I’m just focused on being with you.

I want to be a good father, but I’m not always sure how. For now, I’m focusing on the bumpers instead of the ball, and hoping that by the time you can read this, we still love our lane.

Your bowling buddy always,

Daddy