Leave Something Behind

April 10, 2019

Dearest Solomon,

Last week, your grandparents Michael and Tanya moved into “new home.” It’s been a busy week filled with movers, moving, and settling into life as one big family. Trust me, it’s gonna take some adjusting, but it’s already better.

As we played downstairs, we were explaining to you just how grandparents work. I know we’ve tried this before, but as you edge to 4 years old, you can better understand the idea. As we spelled out, “Tanya is mommy’s mommy and Michael is mommy’s daddy”, you innocently looked to me and asked, “Who is daddy’s daddy?” I felt a panic in myself. I didn’t know how to answer.

We’re barely explaining to you what grandparents are, how do I explain death. I put my hand on your cheek and said “You won’t get to meet daddy’s daddy,” to which you fired back the classic 4-year old “Why?” I squirmed a bit more, repeating myself until eventually, your attention shifted elsewhere. Phew. Crisis averted.

That little moment has been stuck in my head for the last week. Part of me dreams of how much my dad would have loved you, much as I saw him love all his other grandchildren. Part of me wonders what he would think of me now and what advice he might offer. But mostly, part of me just misses him.

Last night, your Aunt Indira’s daddy left us.

I didn’t know him well, but every time I ever met him he was such a kind, jovial man. He was the center of a wonderful, big family that managed to get along better than any I have ever seen. They all loved being around each other.

Imagine that.

I wish I could say this better, so I’ll leave it to one of our greats to summarize it best:

“I’ve learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.”

― Maya Angelou

When it’s your time to leave, it won’t be about how much money you made or the great things you did that matters most. Nope. All that will remain is how you made people feel.

Every day you have the chance to spread your light. A chance to make a friend, your family or even a stranger remember some kindness.

Take that chance, then take another.

Love always,
Dad