Letters to Strangers

Dear Cleaner,

Cheers for depositing more chocolate cookies into the cookie jar at work today. Also, thanks for doing your work – a lot of it, I’m sure, goes unnoticed, but at least you now know that it’s appreciated.

Warmest of regards,

Dear Customer at McDonalds,

I apologise for ordering before you, despite the fact it was your turn. I couldn’t have honesty given more of a fuck at the time though; I was drunk, hungry, and had a train to catch.

Apologies again,

Dear Lady Rocker on the Train,

Who would have thought? ‘Through the Fire and Flames’ by Dragonforce is a great ringtone. Wouldn’t have thought it would have suited you, though. I mean, c’mon. I could picture the grandkids crawling across you.