kummerspeck

i wish to sit next to you
simply
to perform all of the domesticated duties
make you a damn good cup of coffee
and some bacon
grief bacon we would joke
kummerspeck

sweetness
i can render
draw every drop of fat
slowly
out
until it's crisp
perfect
set aside the liquid gold
to cook with on another day
but on that day
i would bring you bacon and eggs and coffee
and sit with you
a moment
together
eating breakfast
before sending you
beloved
off to paint with more coffee
and a smile
hopeful
filled with thoughts that you might
want dessert later
i would adjourn to another room to write
at some point
but in the morning i would make a home for you
daily
filled with all the things depression stole
from us
over the years
these years to come
i wish to do our laundry and sweep and mop
while hearing your piano from another room
i would repair to the kitchen
start dinner

i wish you to stand up from your art and music
and smell cooking
in a clean home
such a stupid simple thing
isn’t it
you don’t want to talk to me
yet i fantasize
about cooking you meals
giving you love in a quiet way
making something
delicious
constant
rendering

i wish to sit next to you