The Liberating Path of Authenticity and Self-Acceptance is Hiding in Plain Sight
Everywhere you turn, every time you scroll, there is more advice on self-improvement – how to be better, how to get more success or just be happier in your life. It has become a real obsession within our society, yet I question how much better, more successful and happier we really are.
What does self-improvement really mean?
There is a reason why the self-improvement industry is booming, quite simply, the understanding of self-improvment is so subjective and so personal to each of us that we are seeking the answer in the wrong places. We are looking for it externally, when the answer really is from within.
Instead of looking for ways to enhance yourself, look to embrace your authentic self with complete self-acceptance. Doing it the other way is a trap that took me many years to realize and a lot of money drained into the self-improvement industry.
The Trap of Perfection
I am a recovering perfectionist.
I blame my upbringing. Getting Bs was never good enough.
I blame my education. It was always about getting into the best school.
I blame my coaches. Play better or stay on the bench.
I blame my corporate career. Meets some or most expectations.
Now looking ahead at the back-9 of my life, I blame the person staring at me in the mirror.
There something that happens when you get older, maybe it’s wisdom of some sort. But I realized that the societal standards, expectations, and the desire to outshine others creates a force that weighs down on us that leads to stress, anxiety, and a constant sense of inadequacy.
Self-improvement can be self-defeating cycle, leaving us feeling more depleted and demoralized than when we started.
Let’s start lifting each other up, rather than pushing each other down
Taking Responsibility
Taking responsibility for the way we react to our circumstances is just as important as taking responsibility for our actions.
There will be circumstances in our life that will be challenging, and quite frankly, suck. Taking responsibility doesn’t mean not feeling the feelings or pushing toxic positivity when you’re struggling on the inside.
It comes down to a shift in perspective and begins with taking responsibility for our shortcomings without self-judgement. Rather than viewing them as failures, they become opportunities for growth and self-discovery. It’s counter intuitive and against everything you learned growing up, but true strength lies in vulnerability and authenticity. By taking responsibility for our actions and learning from mistakes, we find the way to genuine self-improvement – from the inside out.
Focus on what you control, and less on what you don’t control
Authenticity as a Path to Fulfillment
I have been trying to fit in my whole life.
I wasn’t a total loser, I also wasn’t cool. I was always that guy that was there with the crowd, but if I wasn’t, nobody would really notice.
The pressures to conform will always be with us, it’s part of relationships and the psychology of groups. This is why truly embracing authenticity becomes a bit of revolution in the face of conformity.
It involves peeling away layers of expectations that were put upon us so we can rediscover our true selves and be authentically us.
But how do you do this?
You do this by getting clear on what your values are and being unapologetically dedicated to aligning and living those values.
By embracing authenticity and self-acceptance we free ourselves from expectations and the pursuit of an enhanced, even unachievable self.
This acceptance is what brings the inner peace and fulfillment beyond external achievements, because true acceptance and resilience comes from embracing all of our emotions effectively.
My Disclaimer
As you go on this path in choosing authenticity in a society and culture obsessed with self-improvement, you may lose friends and you may be judged.
It is an act of rebellion in a way, but who cares. Embrace your imperfections, live your values and feel all the feelings.
Just don’t be a jerk about it either.
About Me
Hi! I’m Francis, a 15-year, ex-corporate marketer turned solopreneur with a special skill for writing short, concise content into actionable tips to help you grow your online brand and presence. Sign up for my Online Growth Atomic Newsletter ✅
