Coming out
What does coming out look like in the media?
Well you can either have Kurt Hummel’s experience from Glee or Callie Torres Experience from Grey’s Anatomy!
Kurt Hummel denies his sexuality in the first episodes to his peers at school and hides it from his dad, after his theatrical performance in a football game scoring the winning field goal,
his dad, who witnessed the game winning kick, tells his son he is proud of him and Kurt decides it is the right time to come out.
In Grey’s Anatomy the viewers already know Dr. Torres is Bisexual but in this episode she comes out to her father by presenting him to her girlfriend, Arizona Robbins. Callie’s father is not happy with the news and tells Callie she is transferring to a different hospital, and Callie refuses. Callie’s story line continues with Arizona and Callie having a conversation about Callie’s father.
Arizona: what happened?
Callie: He gave me an ultimatum, said if i didn’t come home he’d take away my trust fund, he’d cut me off. So I cut him off. I mean if he can’t accept me for who I am…I cut him off…
Arizona: Are you okay?
Callie: No… I mean yea..
In a later episode Callie’s father shows up at the hospital with their local priest to have an intervention.
In the study Is Coming Out Always a ‘‘Good Thing’’? Exploring the Relations of Autonomy Support, Outness, and Wellness for Lesbian, Gay, and Bisexual Individuals published by Social Psychological and Personality Science conducted by Nicole Legate, Richard M. Ryan, and Netta Weinstein. The study shows that people who come out are more likely to be happy and healthier but only if they come out in healthy environments. The research notes “D’Augelli, Hershberger, and Pilkington (1998) found more suicidality and verbal and physical abuse in LGB youth who had come out to their family than in those who had not.” Both of these episodes represent the Positive and Negative portrayals of what it means to come out and what the outcome can look like, but in many cases the coming out scenes are meant to entertain the viewers or they are censored from the realities of coming out.
We also looked at YouTube videos that talk about their coming out experiences, we mainly focused on the web series It Got Better and the It Gets Better Project. The It Got Better series features notable LGBT figures sharing their personal stories of struggle and success like: Rosie O’donnel, Nate Berkus, Portia De Rossi, Janet Mock, Andrew Rannells and Ru Paul. The It Gets Better Project’s mission statement is to communicate to Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual and Transgender youth around the world that it gets better, and to create and inspire the changes needed to make it better for them. Celebrities, Politicians, Corporations, Teachers etc. joined the movement to spread the message of hope.
Common themes among the videos we analysed was that many people expressed feeling different, isolated, lonely and shame.
Other common themes we found was that it in deed got better for them, and they are happy they decided to push through the tough times of feeling isolated, shame, lonely and different.
Overall LGBT coming out scenes in the media have a large impact in youth but shows have a very limited representation of coming out scenes, while the internet has a wide range of non-fictional coming out stories that youth can identify with. It has become easier for youth to find a story or someone they can relate to, despite not having access to these stories at school or at home. Rather, youth do their own research and learn from the media, educate themselves on what it means to be gay, and what coming out can look like.
