How to Surrender to Your Pen Name & Find Success
My fear of failure was defeated by my pen name.
Typing my soul onto the screen used to be the scariest thing I could do. Because seeing my feelings in print made them real. I had to process whatever they were because they were staring back at me begging and needing to be dealt with.
Then I decided I wanted to publish those feelings online — a much scarier step. I was so afraid of what others thought that my anxiety made it impossible to eat. That ‘publish’ button waited patiently to be clicked, though. Plaguing my thoughts, it haunted me for days.
Fear of humiliation is a powerful thing. It can determine whether you share your thoughts with the world or not. Fear can paralyze you into stagnation.
Finally, I shared my words with the world after deciding to use a pen name. I thought if my work was ridiculed too much, my pen name could shoulder the blame instead of me. I could hide behind this imaginary writer and distance myself from failure.
But then something amazing happened…
My pen name — Zada Kent — succeeded.
Her first article was well received and she was asked for another. A year later she won an award for a short story in horror. Zada Kent was becoming a real writer. She’d already helped me accomplish two of my life’s goals — a published writer and author.
That was when Zada became more than a pen name for me. She morphed into an avatar — an invisible costume I could slip on like a dress when I needed her. Her confidence turned into my own.
Zada keeps me accountable and on task as if she’s my boss or manager. She’s my excuse — no, reason — I have a successful professional life away from my personal life. She makes it easy to compartmentalize what I need to do and get done in both areas of my life. I feel obligated to keep her happy because she has opened so many doors for me. So work is now the priority that it hadn’t been in the past.
As my success grows and I expand my goals and dreams, I continue to utilize Zada’s confidence. She has changed from an avatar to a persona I convert to when I’m writing and creating. She’s a permanent part of me now. She’s me, and I’m her. I can’t imagine my life without her.
I thought using a pen name would be a quick trick to overcome my fear of failure as a writer. But it has been so much more than that. It’s become my number one tool to succeeding in everything I do.
Zada Kent is the superhero who saved me from my own fear of failure. She has taught me by example how important determination and fearlessness are. She’s a creative professional in everything she does and her world — my world — is expanding because of her tenacity.
Trying on Zada Kent’s costume has been the smartest move I’ve made to grow into my most authentic, prosperous self. Ultimately, I created the superhero I needed to become to succeed.
Zada Kent is the creator of Fiction & Folx newsletter, author of short fiction, writer of nonfiction, and co-founder of LGBTQueer-ies.
