LGBTQueer-ies
“Mom, I Want To Be A Boy”
My child was nine and biologically born female — I thought it was like they were telling me they wanted to be a firefighter or an astronaut.
Want — that word really threw me off. I really thought it was simply the curiosity and interest of a child — any child — in something new or different. When I told my nine-year-old I wasn’t sure how that would work disappointment washed over their face. Not knowing how to respond exactly, I told them we could always look into it if they wanted. They seemed content with that answer and skipped back to their room.
I still feel terrible for having completely missed what my child had been trying to tell me that day. It would be several years later before we discussed it again.
Their father and I always told them they could be anything they wanted when they grew up. We supported our child following any interest they expressed. We thought our open-mindedness was conducive to us being good parents. And I still think that.
During middle school and high school, our child dated both boys and girls. We thought our child was gay or bisexual. And we were okay with that. I just wish we would have been predisposed to the word “transgender.” It wasn’t in either of our vocabularies and consequently not something we considered.
Our child struggled with depression for several years prompting us to seek help for them when they were preteen. We were very fortunate to have had the expertise and guidance of medical personnel.
After several months of counseling from their first therapist, my spouse and I were asked to join one of their sessions. That was when our child told us they were transgender.
“I feel like a boy. Like all the time. I want to be a boy. I want to live as a boy because I am a boy.”
My child’s psychologist explained to us what all this meant. It was a lot to take in. We were referred to a group of mental health doctors who specialized in helping young people and their families better understand what it is to be transgender. I’m still grateful to that first psychologist for helping our family. She sent us to the most caring and supportive group of professionals — we couldn’t have asked for any better.
I still have questions about what it’s like to be transgender. I’m fortunate enough that my son is open about most things in his life. He’s an intelligent, funny, and very caring human being. And thanks to the medical help he received and we received as a family, he is much happier living as his true authentic self now.
Here are 10 Questions Every Parent Should Ask Their Transgender Teen.
Zada Kent is creator of LGBTQueer-ies & proud parent to her transgender son.
