Why You Need to Stop Being at War with Reality

Stop fighting life: adapt as water does

Gustavo Razzetti
Fearless Culture
Published in
7 min readNov 10, 2017


Are we avoiding reality?— Pic by Joao Tzanno

“Whatever you resist you become. If you resist anger, you are always angry. If you resist sadness, you are always sad. If you resist suffering, you are always suffering. If you resist confusion, you are always confused.” — Adyashanti

I’ve written many articles to challenge your daily behaviors, from developing a learning mind, or saying ‘no’ more often, to encourage you to learn from the people you hate.

There’s a common thread across those challenges: our (in)ability to deal with reality.

That’s the biggest behavior we must battle.

Most of us refuse to see reality as is, acting as if reality is ignoring us.

When things didn’t go as expected, you feel disappointed. And you fight back. You resist reality, trying to get attention. But things won’t change because you can’t accept them. You are not that important.

Being at war with reality will only turn you into a casualty.

Stop fighting what you don’t know, what you can’t manage, what you don’t like or what didn’t go your way.

You can’t change reality. But you can change how you react. Allow things to be as they are.

The Only Truth Is Reality.

“No amount of regretting can change the past, and no amount of worrying can change the future.” ― Roy T. Bennett

We are addicted to our emotions.

Before something happens, your brain starts enjoying a pleasant outcome. The dopamine, the brain’s pleasure neurotransmitter, spikes anticipating a rewarding experience.

Unfortunately, things rarely go as planned.

Your dopamine drops all of a sudden due to disappointment. This emotional gap — the difference between the experienced and predicted ‘reward’ of an event — is what scientists call ‘reward prediction error.’

“Acceptance of what has happened is the first step to overcoming the consequences of any misfortune.” — William James



Gustavo Razzetti
Fearless Culture

For latest stories, subscribe: https://gustavorazzetti.substack.com I help teams have courageous conversations. Author of Remote, Not Distant